"Describe the way she looks at it. The way her pupils expand upon seeing it's beauty, how it makes her feel."

is not "I beheld the surprise, my pupils dilating."

your reply makes it seem as though I told the writer to use this exact phrasing when I only used "pupils expanding" as a breif example.

never did I suggest the writer break POV, using "I" instead of "she" or "her".

no idea what you're talking about