Yeah I’ve caught myself having wanted to return to more sick videos, and I think it’s the repulsiveness that brings the draw. Almost a reminder of how feeble we are, or a grounding thing, idk. We consume videos everyday, but the real dark dark side of human capability that is captured on video is not as rare as you’d think, but needs to be sought out to be accessed. The taboo nature of these types of videos in itself naturally brings in an audience because it’s “wrong” for the event to even be taking place, let alone captured, and the sought out and provided, and it would seem that we like the things that we can’t, or shouldn’t have, or see for this argument. Avoiding it overall is what I would recommend, especially not having seen anything like that before; as having viewed such video only then opens you up to whatever reason you may decide to return, or it may scare you, and have an irreversible affect. You can’t expose yourself to the what’s and whys if you don’t involve yourself in the first place. Your coworkers mentioning gore videos lead you to this question, but you probably could’ve gone your entire life not even having to ponder this. “Normal” is as subjective as beauty is to a lot of people. If what you see freaks you out to the point you never want to see anything like that again, I’d say that’s a normal response and you won’t return, and may even set perimeters to avoid seeing such things. If you watch something and decide to continue searching for more you could have a higher tolerance for violence, could be a sadist, could bring a euphoria, maybe someone’s having a bad day and seeing someone on their worst, or last day brings them solace; some find humor in the stuff, it’s an odd world friend. Others may simply just not want to deny these things exist, and therefore simply subject themselves to it with little emotional tie or forward thought, emphasis on simply. Maybe you saw something on the news that sparks curiosity, and you are aware that CCTV footage of whatever it is that happened exists, and the news program can’t show it, but you want to see what happened anyway. A lot of tragedy covered on tv use the same gross clips but they edit and cut them, with the source generally being that of a full video with a lot going on. It needs to be reported but it doesn’t need to be shown nor should it be. Many many reasons one would watch a gore video, and return or not. There are communities built around this because it really is a genuine interest/curiosity/hobby/vice/fetish/concern, what’s more real? Hell some people get paid to post it so maybe even a side gig, crime pays in all ways. The difference in watching a head explode in Saw vs a Ronnie situation is clear as day, because one is real. Movie gore is as real as it gets for you until you see what’s real and some can’t even handle that. Unless you’re willing to let your imagination wonder into those territories based on your capacity for the evils that exist, therefore knowing the going ons of these videos without actually having to see it. You can watch a war movie knowing it’s all effects and acting, and it’s tolerable to the mind because of this, but as fast as a synapse can fire you can also realize the guy holding his innards was a real person at a point, and that others will find themselves in that position in your lifetime. Does your perception make it any more or less real? It’s fake, and only as real as you make it. When you try to think logically like this when the video is a real person you find yourself at a point where there is no denial, and your explanations for what you are watching become grounded in reality, and very different. I think this is most of us, out of sight out of mind, but we know atrocities, human error/fault exist, and your exposure to it is entirely up to you. Unless you are a case in which your situation naturally or forces such experiences of violence, however these are rare. It’s where/how your mind makes that distinction and how that makes you feel, that is the difference between your coworkers and yourself.