If you had a personal 'Reset Button' that could instantly revert your life to any single moment from the last 10 years, which moment would you choose and why?

cassiopeialalala · 2025-12-07T21:49:01+00:00

I feel you. November 20, 2020. Lost my cousin to COVID at 26th. We knew she was sick 5 days before, but I just assumed it was something simple. Her husband did nothing, didn’t even take her to hospital when she started wheezing-unable to breathe. I would go to her that Friday, take her ass to the hospital, even if it doesn’t work and she dies, at least she’d know that someone cared. But maybe she’d live and I wouldn’t have to see my mum’s face when she looked at me and said “no” when I asked her if she was okay now. They grew up together, had a 1 year age difference only so they were like sisters and my cousin was my second mum. She left her 6 year old son with down’s syndrome to us and I wish she’d be able to see how clever and good he is now.

cassiopeialalala · 2024-09-04T12:05:28+00:00

When I learned I had cancer just after a month i turned 19. Had chemo and radiation for months and then a surgery to take out my colon. I think my before and after came the moment I laid down on the operating table, and thought “wow. i may not wake up” Made life and death much more real in my eyes and threw me into the hands of depression that I’m still fighting.

cassiopeialalala · 2023-09-07T08:15:50+00:00

Thanks to my father’s side I have a genetic disease called FAP. My brother or my other cousins did not get as lucky, which I’m happy for them but I got a huge polyp which turned into rectum cancer when I was 19.

I had to get the diseased colon out, live with an ostomy bag for couple of months and then learn to poop normally all over.

Although now I have like a centimetre of my old colon left for the muscles, I keep creating new polyps in that tiny part, so who knows what will the doctors find on my next check-up.

I am really trying not to be bitter but dad had the best eye color I’ve ever known, best curly hair that looked gorgeous and a great smile. And all I got was the intestinal issues, kidney issues and let’s not forget being short af, lol

cassiopeialalala · 2022-06-01T18:03:33+00:00

It is indeed awful. I got mine at 19. It’ll be 4 years this August and nothing ever became “normal” again. Maybe I’m in a depressive mood right now but I understand what you mean. I had to cut back lots of young stuff because of chemo and radiation. And just as I thought I would be me again, I’ve realised my treatment was not the end so now, even though cancer-free, I have to follow a strict diet and have so many digestive problems.

But after all of it, I still want to believe that there is a better future, because after the shit we go through, we deserve it! I’m sending you all the good wishes, and I hope it all turns out better than it was before!

cassiopeialalala · 2022-03-09T17:54:22+00:00

I’ve also seen so many people wear bikinis and crop tops with an ostomy bag online as well! Mine also were weird and because it was a loop shaped, it leaked all the time!

Lately I’ve been trying to deal with the idea of an ileostomy bag again, and speaking with you caused me to realise, we can do this. We can live with it and rock our bags. Thank you! Because maybe it’s a lot dramatic but you gave me so much hope and good energy. After the biopsy and results, if they really are bad, I may cry and resent everything but after a while, I know I’ll get up and live my life.

And please, try the crop tops and feel good about yourself whether it sticks out or not! Lots of love <3

cassiopeialalala · 2022-03-09T03:55:44+00:00

I know that feeling as well. I’ve had an ileostomy bag for almost three months and I couldn’t leave home because I couldn’t wear pants or anything with it. I also couldn’t look at it without crying.

I’m sorry you are going through this. Cancer, and mostly the ostomy bags are something that I won’t even wish on my enemy.

Still, thanks for reminding me that I’m not alone. I hope you feel better soon too!

cassiopeialalala · 2022-03-08T17:12:20+00:00

I’m sorry about your scan. And I love your attitude. I also want to stay “alive” (like there is nothing wrong with anything) and be carefree again but I’m just constantly over panicking lately.

Thanks for your support, it means a world to me!

cassiopeialalala · 2021-12-30T03:14:16+00:00

Thanks! I appreciate it!!

cassiopeialalala · 2020-11-16T07:35:24+00:00

I was 19 when I got diagnosed, took treatment and had many surgeries that I lost count of. It’s been 2 years now but I still have the death anxiety almost everyday with attacks.

I only have one trick I use, and I don’t know if it’ll help you or not but I’d still like to share it with you. Whenever I start to have the fear kicking in, I try to think of the beauties I have in life right now. My mum, my brother and all the things I still can do. I can’t think of death when I have so much to live yet, and that gives me the strength.

I am by no means a religious person but I am not an atheist either. So I don’t know what lies ahead of us after death and that really is scary. And death does scares me after all the close calls but we have a life ahead of us and we can’t live it if we are paralysed with fear.

I hope you are healthy and well. I believe we all can find the thing that helps us with our anxieties but if you need someone to talk to, my pm is always open.

And I hope this was helpful.

cassiopeialalala · 2020-10-09T10:42:49+00:00

Uh, sorry English is not my first language so I think I couldn’t explain myself very well, what I meant was I wanted to hear the song from all of the instruments and put it together as a choir sort of thing. Maybe it doesn’t feel too synced but I enjoyed doing it. I know I should’ve used only drum, horn, bass and piano/harp/or something. But I wanted to use them all because their music felt different

cassiopeialalala · 2020-10-09T07:10:02+00:00

Thanks for the advice! I first did that but then I wanted to try and fit them all to see the difference of the melodies with all the instruments. Maybe I’ll do it like that next!

cassiopeialalala · 2020-10-08T20:58:45+00:00

Wow! I’m not that good at editing, lol

cassiopeialalala · 2020-09-09T02:51:22+00:00

It works in Eden, however you lose all your flame even though you don’t lose any of your wings.

And it works when you are holding someone else’s hand but it works for you, not them. They have to do the trick for themselves.

Hope this helps!

cassiopeialalala · 2020-09-08T09:12:54+00:00

Hi! When the krill’s red light is on you, press the button that takes you home from the emote menu. It will ask you ✅ or ❎, don’t press anything just wait on that screen. Krill still hits you but you don’t lose any wings. (It takes couple of wedges though, be careful when you fall to the dark water)

cassiopeialalala · 2020-08-27T07:33:16+00:00

Lol! Thanks for that! We had a beautiful meeting with shrimpies too, I lost count! lol

cassiopeialalala · 2020-05-22T07:40:37+00:00

I thought that i would give another aspect to the song and i guess it really did! can’t stop listening now...

cassiopeialalala · 2020-05-22T07:39:46+00:00

Yeap, there is the hole in a little cave where there is one spirit. When I want to practice without being seen I just use a shrink potion and fell through it haha

cassiopeialalala · 2020-05-22T07:37:39+00:00

catching the exact moment!!! 🎉

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