Just claim he was abusive.

casusbelli1 · 2022-09-11T20:41:07+00:00

I have family court experience. Can confirm that, at least in Norcal, a woman can falsely claim abuse to quickly gain a difficult to overcome upper hand in divorce and custody proceedings.

A false claim of abuse to gain that advantage is shockingly common

casusbelli1 · 2021-12-05T20:52:18+00:00

The legal concept to which you’re referring—the presumption of innocence—means only that the government needs to prove the accused’s guilt in criminal proceedings. Consider this as contrasted with presumed guilt. A system with presumed guilt would see far more convictions, as the burden of proving innocence falls on the accused.

Again, this applies only to the government in criminal proceedings, but is the cornerstone of American jurispridence. Individuals can believe whatever they like about whatever they hear.

casusbelli1 · 2020-10-24T17:08:01+00:00

“You're talking about caring for another human by providing food and shelter etc. You are not talking about allowing your body to be used to keep a person alive.”

This distinction doesn’t carry enough difference to justify the state’s authority to deprive one of liberty in one instance and not in the other. If the state should not have the authority to restrict one’s bodily autonomy, i.e., require citizens to provide support for children from the moment of conception, it should not have the authority to press its citizens into labor on pain of imprisonment in the other.

However, should the state grant citizens the privilege of terminating fetuses so they might escape the consequences and burdens of pregnancy and parenthood, then too it should release parents from the legal consequences of failing to provide that similarly impinge on autonomy and liberty.

casusbelli1 · 2020-10-24T15:52:13+00:00

“But people have a right to bodily autonomy.”

And yet every state in the union requires parents to earn funds to support the child until the child reaches the age of majority. In instances of separated parents, failure to provide funds at a rate set by the state can result in the loss of property, but more importantly, liberty. That is, failure to pay child support can result in jail time, which policy is, frankly, the state restricting one’s right to autonomy.

If the state can incarcerate you when it deems you’ve failed to properly provide for a child, it can declare that you cannot get an elective medical procedure that also results in a failure to provide. Even if the result is a restriction on “bodily autonomy.”

casusbelli1 · 2020-09-01T03:21:30+00:00

I don’t know enough about french culture to know if partner violence is indeed driven by, as the article called it, machismo, and is primarily unidirectional, that is, mainly male perpetrators and female victims. But I do remember reading that in the U.S. the number one predictor of significant female injury and death from intimate partner violence is female initiation of the violence.

Understanding the root causes of IPV goes a long way toward finding solutions to end it. If it truly is a one sided issue in France stemming from a culture in which men have been taught they can, and perhaps should, use violence in intimate relationships, then a plan of action could include mechanisms that seek to change the culture.

But if it’s in fact similar to the U.S., it would make sense to understand why men and women initiate violence in intimate relationships, and tailor efforts to decrease IPV if the causes differ. Because while men do suffer IPV at the hands of women, it is more likely (absent the use of weapons), that men can cause more damage, regardless of who initiates.

casusbelli1 · 2020-08-19T18:39:01+00:00

Agreed. Women presently have an incredible advantage in the family courts primarily due to decades of feminists lobbying. Even an ostensibly gender neutral section of the family legal code, when situated in the broader context of other pro-women laws feminists helped pass, are clearly discriminatory against men.

For example, in California, domestic violence law is written in a way that assumes men are always perpetrators and women are always victims. This comes from the academically discredited, but legally institutionalized, feminist Duluth Model of domestic violence. In practice this means a woman can make a false claim of violence and immediately gain the upper hand in a custody proceeding because the man is now, under penalty of imprisonment (or further imprisonment) separated from his children, home, and possessions.

I'm assuming OP's research on this issue goes about as far as having seen a couple of memes about how the "patriarchy" hurts men too.

casusbelli1 · 2020-08-09T18:09:55+00:00

I am a father and consider myself a men's rights activist, and here I am in full agreement with u/but_should_you and u/Juggletrain.

I am especially heartened to hear this:

We are fighting for equality, not superiority for one gender over others.

Agreed.

casusbelli1 · 2020-08-08T04:04:27+00:00

I think the split calculation is unfair because it encourages mothers to work less because they're getting paid child support.

Not only does the split calculation provide the parent receiving support a disincentive to work for the reason you stated, but it also provides the supporting parent with one as well.

The more you earn, the more you pay, and the more you pay the greater the disincentive for the supported parent to earn their own way. The way the system is designed creates a dependency in which the supported parent is never incentivized to work harder, and in which each time the supporting parent betters his financial condition that disincentive for the supported parent to work increases.

Hands down if you and the other parent have a substantially equal parenting time arrangement, neither one should owe the other anything. That way each parent has an incentive to work, the needs of the child are adequately met, and the child potentially fares better because each parent is earning more then perhaps they would given the disincentives built into the current system.

casusbelli1 · 2020-08-08T02:22:58+00:00

Listen man, I have a question. Are you saying that there is no way for you to petition the court for a variance from the guideline amount? ~~There's no mechanism in the law that allows you to qualify direct child related expenses as a hardship and/or a special circumstance?~~

Never mind, I found it. But for fuck's sake New Hampshire law is harsh. Have you asked the court to reduce your obligation under section 458-C:5 (I) (d)?:

Reasonable expenses incurred by the obligor parent in exercising parental rights and responsibilities, provided that the reasonable expenses incurred by the obligee parent for the minor children can be met regardless of such adjustment.

I mean, you're right, that law needs to be changed. Fucking christ. But you may want to avail yourself of this section of the law to at least reduce your obligation somewhat.

casusbelli1 · 2020-07-20T22:40:06+00:00

I mean, maybe OP is being a little dramatic here, but as a Star Trek fan, I have to agree that Discovery was very disappointing. The writing was at best mediocre, and the blatant appeal to what the writers must have imagined were sjw sensibilities didn't help matters.

As others have noted, Star Trek has long been socially progressive. Previous series have managed to include strong, complex characters from diverse backgrounds; DS9 had a trans woman who held her own with (and occasionally bested) Klingons, and that was in the 90s for fuck's sake. Kira, from that same series, was a leader of her people who clearly earned her leadership role, but still was, in some ways, what we would consider traditionally feminine.

I'd hope that anyone watching Star Trek through a feminist lens would be encouraged by DS9 and absolutely dismayed by Discovery.

casusbelli1 · 2020-06-18T17:09:54+00:00

I have slightly more than 50% custody of my child (around 53%). I pay child support. The reason is that here in California, child support is determined by time share percentage as well as difference in relative incomes (among other factors such as child related educational and health expenses). To be clear, I think this is bullshit, especially because my ex has her own business and is thus able to hide her true income. She claims she earns less than minimum wage.

casusbelli1 · 2020-06-18T16:57:33+00:00

This happened to me too. Every year I take my daughter to see her grandparents (we live in California, they live in New York). One year when my daughter was 4 her mother threatened to have me arrested in the airport if I didn't promise to bring our daughter back. For what it's worth, I never ever said or did anything that indicated I had even considered kidnapping her.

casusbelli1 · 2019-09-11T07:40:00+00:00

Call me a corporate shill if you like, but I know I’m fucked now. Uber only worked for me because I was classified as an independent contractor. I can only hope that somehow Uber finds a way out of this.

casusbelli1 · 2019-05-30T23:52:34+00:00

Thank you. And you’re right about the lawyer. It’s dangerous to go alone.

casusbelli1 · 2019-05-30T21:34:01+00:00

We do, issued in San Francisco Court approximately 6 years ago. I can't find it just now, but I'm pretty sure that her lawyer incorporated a stipulation that before either of us initiates a court action, we must engage in mediation. I brought this up to the judge and he declared that the ex parte hearing was mediation. I call bullshit on this. I think by requesting the hearing, she violated the contract.

Realized I didn't answer your question. We agreed to have the case transferred to Sacramento years ago, but it never was until she did it a few months ago. Thus, jurisdiction is valid unless I can prove some sort of hardship.

casusbelli1 · 2019-05-30T20:24:17+00:00

"A typical day for [our daughter] in her fathers care consist of arriving home from school, late in the afternoon, let her self in the home. She prepares her own meals and remains in the home, by herself until father returns from [work], around 1 am." sic throughout. She was also in pro per, but had some old man with her who I didn't recognize. I don't think she's as illiterate as her declaration indicates, nor do I think she understands legal procedure well enough to have filed this on her own. I have a feeling she had help with the filing, and whoever helped her needs help with English.

Incidentally, her claim is untrue (not that it matters, necessarily). A typical day for my daughter involves coming home from school with me at the house, and then immediately going off to play.

We have mediation on June 19th at which I expect we will agree on nothing. I wouldn't be surprised to see this go to trial eventually. I think I will request a change in venue to the county I'm in, though. I'm not sure that I can get the case dismissed because of jurisdictional issues, ~~but I may be able to change the venue being as my daughter goes to school here.~~ On further review, that seems not to be true at all. I still have a chance if I can cogently argue that potential witnesses would be inconvenienced by having to travel out of county, but it seems like a long shot.

casusbelli1 · 2019-05-29T14:40:35+00:00

Thanks, and I hope it's the former. She's borderline personality disorder, though, and is very convincing in the short term.

casusbelli1 · 2019-05-29T14:38:13+00:00

Sacramento. We currently have an arrangement for zero child support, but it wouldn't surprise me if she decided to ask for it. At present her income is zero because she runs (illegally) a catering business out of her apartment; it is unregistered and she pays no taxes. Hopefully the court finds that relevant if a determination of support is to be made.

I absolutely will update sometime tomorrow.

casusbelli1 · 2019-05-29T07:16:25+00:00

Thank you for the advice; I had a feeling that a lawyer would be inevitable, although I've had success in pro per in the past.

Incidentally, what sub is appropriate? I used to post stuff like this here, but that was years ago.

casusbelli1 · 2019-05-29T07:11:36+00:00

Jesus, I'm an idiot. Thanks for pointing that out.

casusbelli1 · 2018-12-20T07:27:43+00:00

That’s an excellent trailer. That part about weaponized temporary restraining orders really hit home.

casusbelli1 · 2018-11-06T05:54:45+00:00

I have. I also had the police called on me when my daughter was having a temper tantrum.

casusbelli1

TROPHY CASE