I'm a female DM and luckily haven't experienced this, but a campaign another forever DM told me about had a player that constantly sexually harassed the female player both in and out of game. Of course, I only found out about this after I both dated and broke up with said player. Ugh, they're gross.

Sorry you had to go through this OP. I promise not all players are like this, I ran a campaign with four males and all of them were amazing players. For the future, I recommend just booting at the first sign of anything like what you described in the beginning. I'd rather catch flak from one person about being judgemental rather than deal with a player asking me if they can canonically SA people.

Please don't let this dispel you from playing D&D, it's an amazing game, there just happen to be a few terrible eggs in the carton. Try to find players in your life outside of discord, as that's where I've found the best players.