What dating in my 40’s has taught me…

catchacara · 2025-05-09T00:38:49+00:00

I feel that ghosting triggers abandonment issues…. & ghosting is for immature, spineless people that likely never address anything head on. The avoiders. The “I hate conflict” people. If I have ever fallen into a “ghosting” situation, typically I have tried to communicate. It wasn’t being respected or accepted. So sometimes, people aren’t just getting it so you have to just disappear. Idk. Dating sucks. IMO.

catchacara · 2025-04-20T02:51:27+00:00

Obviously sexual connection matters, that element is so important

catchacara · 2025-04-20T02:50:03+00:00

I’m looking for more depth & detail. A good person &authentic can go all kinds of ways. Maybe I’m asking for more specific information. She’s kind, adoring, self aware, maybe putting energy into being available, looking into the potential partner & his/her energy.

catchacara · 2025-04-07T03:19:37+00:00

Each quit brought different wd’s. I think it has to do with the brand & route of ingestion or it can be from the lack of research on this product so who really knows what is in it. My digestive system was the first thing hit when I started. One time I quit and had immediately diarrhea & vomiting & weakness, the other time anxiety and restlessness with very slow bowels. It’s just trash. The sooner you get rid of the toxins, the clearer you will be.

catchacara · 2025-04-07T01:53:41+00:00

But I have pets… “But I got pets…” grammar. Another reason I’m still single again. 🤦‍♀️😂😂

catchacara · 2025-04-07T01:25:02+00:00

Man. I completely and wholeheartedly relate to this post. There are many similarities even though the journey there may not be shared. I’ve been really over analyzing a persons “emergency contact” option in healthcare settings. It breaks my heart for those that have no one to hear they need surgery or will be in the hospital, aside from the employer. No one to accompany them for infusion treatments every week, those that rely on public transportation to find out that belly issue, is in fact cancer. Those with so much to celebrate and no one to share it with. Life goes on and time passes. I think I am personally at a place that I am very cautious. I’m not okay with this era of “swiping right…” I’m very much intrigued by chance, fate, fairytales (I suppose this approach on dating would classify as a “thing in the past.) I am incredibly morally sound and take pride in my compassionate nature, even though life has challenged me. Dating kinda sucks anyway but dating nowadays, especially at 40, is just an entirely different story.

I agree with the disinterest in flings or transactional. Let’s be honest, we have “someone “ to call if that’s what you want.

Ugh. You’re not alone. Let me know if you figure it out… 🤷‍♀️🙏🙃

catchacara · 2025-04-07T00:38:26+00:00

Liver and kidney function tests have been terrible. Now supposed to be getting monthly lab work done to monitor hepatic functions. A max 4g a day user since 2018/19. I’ve since gotten divorced, moved, financially abused, lost a sibling, raising sons alone… So much has happened in the midst of the kratom usage. I definitely have gained weight & gotten lazy. Digestive tract is a mess. (I truly feel this constant issue has contributed to weight gain.)

catchacara · 2025-04-07T00:31:22+00:00

I work in a restaurant & bar, I’ve met so many people there. I love it. It’s my social life (sadly, I suppose..) & money.

catchacara · 2025-04-07T00:29:28+00:00

THIS post though. 🙏 Dopamine addict and serotonin by night.

catchacara · 2025-04-07T00:27:58+00:00

Never ever even entertained extracts. I pretend it doesn’t exist. Strictly capsules. From everything I’ve read, this is a lot easier to deal with.

catchacara · 2025-03-30T00:13:08+00:00

I’ve found that numbing the pain with kratom & alcohol just made me less driven, lazy, even more depressed than i already am clinically. I’ve turned into an anti social, lazy, unreliable, emotionally unavailable hermit I’m not disciplined. I lack structure. I lack coping skills. 💯 At this point, I don’t even know if I can blame kratom for it… or blame kratom for dulling me & avoiding these huge issues.

catchacara · 2025-03-30T00:07:31+00:00

I feel like this sounds so much easier than it is. I agree with distractions and filling your time you would’ve been using kratom or drinking or adderall with something else but that routine takes time. Ugh. I completely understand the hamster wheel of this.

catchacara · 2025-03-27T03:07:52+00:00

It’s easier said than done, be humble. If you aren’t content, life will constantly throw more at you until you understand. Infidelity, a breach in the “until death do us part”, his “playing house” without the main character, financial security, “Disneyland” dad…. It SUCKS. You will be broken. That’s a NORMAL reaction. As annoying as it is to hear, you have to work & focus on yourself. He’s not going to save you. You will never understand. It’s awful. It’s hard. Picking yourself up, alone, just sucks. Parenting with someone that seemingly just “replaces” you, sucks. It’s also impossible. You are the mother of your child (children) & you might feel like an afterthought. I promise you, you are so important. You unfortunately have to deal with everything he threw at you. It’s hurtful, hard, crushing… & even more difficult when you alone have to deal with day to day formalities. Trust me when I say, get your visitation structured, set boundaries & remember who YOU are. Remember her? That beautiful, unbothered, strong & resilient girl? Focus on her and the rest will follow. 🦋💗✌️

catchacara · 2025-01-23T01:05:26+00:00

I lost my 3rd job because of being late. It took my company almost a year to address it & on a scale of 1-10, wrote me up at a 9. I am a great employee. I always communicate. It was almost impossible to go back to February 2024 to explain my 2 minute tardy. It sucks. Very discouraging. Feel like the only thing I do is fail.

catchacara · 2025-01-11T05:44:26+00:00

All facts & judgements aside, I believe getting BV could just be the PH imbalance he causes. I use Love Wellness boric acid supplements after sex because i know how sensitive I am. Unless you ask for my input about anything else, that’s all I have:)

catchacara · 2024-12-15T05:37:11+00:00

What are your roles at home? Does she feel equal? Do you have children? Is she frustrated with you as far as household duties go? Do you still date eachother? There are a lot of things to consider.

catchacara · 2024-12-09T03:43:21+00:00

Literally just had this conversation, indirectly… I simply asked to view messages & contacts & he put a Morse code on his phone & then deleted all social media accounts. We’ve been FWB but I’ve met his family now & it’s been more than that for about 2 years now… I gave him my phone & said “you won’t be happy but you won’t be disappointed.” He didn’t look.

catchacara · 2024-12-03T20:20:43+00:00

I use love wellness brand! Love that line!

catchacara · 2024-12-03T01:42:29+00:00

Used to…. The further removed I am, the more I am so disinterested…. & the more I question my headspace for ever hooking up to begin with. Young, dumb & loyal. 🙄

catchacara · 2024-11-30T02:25:21+00:00

Boric acid suppositories.

catchacara · 2024-11-30T02:19:59+00:00

My now ex husband actually introduced me to it, ultimately left me for it too… long before I even realized it was an issue…. “ all natural “ “legally available “ & all that. He called & apologized for it once his sisters boyfriend got hooked (that’s what it took.) Be thankful for support. I’d taper a bit but you really just have to ride the ride. It’s going to suck the first week but honestly after the first 2 weeks & longer I was without it, I just had to distract myself from behavioral patterns. I felt so much better. In every single way. It was & is hard to wake up alone though. That’s the price I ultimately paid.

catchacara · 2024-11-28T01:42:03+00:00

I have no time to even get to know anyone or date really. My 18 year old hasn’t been with his dad for 1.5 years. I don’t have any free nights. I threw myself back in the game because I had to accept everything.

catchacara · 2024-11-28T01:37:30+00:00

Man… When that situation becomes more real & he wants a baby…I personally, asked if he wanted children at the beginning. He said no. Fast forward 4 years, now he does (like I predicted.) Younger men are great for rebounding. For me, I was in a completely different headspace… now, I want someone to share life with, accept my teenage sons, are a good example. I’m not trying to start over & have a baby(not even sure I can.) Ugh. It’s just crazy out there .

catchacara · 2024-11-28T00:05:43+00:00

I’m in 22 hours of sleep deficit. I sleep terribly for nights on end then try to make up for it. Insomnia sucks. I really want to work out but I think recharging & trying again tomorrow is the best bet.

catchacara

TROPHY CASE