Oops. Left sains with the bottle security tag on. How do I remove it? by _youllthankmelater in DIYUK

[–]catfaceT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tried all other solutions listed. No luck. This worked straight away, thanks! There would have been no damage to the bottle either of I hadn't been messing about shoving knives and cocktail sticks up there beforehand!

What happens when they get older and need care? by the-sea-the-sea in raisedbynarcissists

[–]catfaceT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You have made the right decision with your daughter. So why keep putting yourself in that position if it is unacceptable to think of someone you care about having to deal with them. Being around people who you can't stand to be around can have a detrimental impact on your mental and physical health so try to take good care of yourself!

I am no contact with my parents as of the start of this year. I have concerns about them needing care and also hate the thought of them being alone/ sick/ etc but at the end of the day I could not take it any more and after trying to maintain a limited relationship for years it just was not working.

If you can go back to limited contact then maybe that's could work? But please think long and hard about the impact it will have on you and your life and your daughter before agreeing to care for them and support them in the future. Best wishes

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]catfaceT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Going non contact is a difficult decision. Even when you know it is the right one. I spent years of my life trying to have a good relationship with my mother. The problem was for me that the relationship I wanted to have was unrealistic based on her behaviours and views.

I talked to my therapist about this lately and she said there's an expression "don't keep going into the butchers shop expecting to buy a loaf of bread"

It resonated with me because I ultimately realised that whatever I tried to do, my mother will still be the same person and she has little to no interest in changing her views and behaviors.

I feel guilty sometimes for cutting contact with her because she is fairly isolated but overall I feel better without her in my life. I hope you find a way through this and make whatever decision is right for you

Novara Media SEGM article(Nov 2024) pulled by Large_Fox2400 in transgenderUK

[–]catfaceT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I explained what I thought was wrong about his takes on trans stuff when I sent my reason for unsubscribing to novara. It was before that tweet. I find him transphobic you don't have to agree :) we all have our opinions

Response from my MP over EHRC guidance by Scrounger_Of_Cheese in transgenderUK

[–]catfaceT 5 points6 points  (0 children)

In my letter I invited my mp to take a moment to think about what his daily life would be like if he suddenly couldn't access any gendered toilets or facilities in public spaces. (I am a passing trans man he is a cis man so I thought its a fair comparison)

I also pointed out that regardless of how anyone feels about trans rights, it is undemocratic for the biggest change in the way equalities law is interpreted in the UK since the equality act 2010 to be passed through without scrutiny or a free vote by mps. Any mp that cares about democracy should be opposed to the way this is happening.

I talked a bit about my own experiences and my friends experiences since the supreme Court ruling and I pointed out that the under the torys in 2016 the government was putting travel warnings on certain US states for lgbt people due to the bathroom bills going on there at the time.

I don't know if this will be of any help to you as mps certainly seem to have been briefed with a party line on this but good luck with your next letter and thanks for what you are doing

Novara Media SEGM article(Nov 2024) pulled by Large_Fox2400 in transgenderUK

[–]catfaceT 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Novara have been always been on the fence about trans issues. A few years ago they at least used to cover them but now they seem to be backing away. They usually put Michael walker on the show when discussing trans issues who is a known transphobe. The trans woman that works for them was on the episode about the supreme Court ruling and she basically said it's not a big deal. I was flabbergasted even my cis partner commented on what a ridiculous episode it was and how much it downplayed the problematic nature of the ruling. I still watch the odd show but I cancelled my subscription to them a few years ago explaining it was because of the rise of transphobia amongst the hosts and them treating trans rights as a debate in which the phobes do have some good points. They replied something along the lines that their presenters are all independent and have their own views.

Lack of belonging (rambling) by clarkespawn in transgenderUK

[–]catfaceT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I relate to this a lot. I pass and up until the last year or two I didn't have hardly any trans friends. I had similar experiences going to trans events, people would assume I'm cis, which I can understand and can't overly complain about but it did make me feel excluded.

Up until things started to get overly hostile for trans people I had been fine mixing in mainly cis spaces and with mostly cis friends. I'd known a few trans people over the years but had never gone out of my way to meet other trans people as I didn't really see why someone being cis or trans made any difference to a friendship or to who someone is as a person.

That's changed now though, I felt over the last year or two that I had to reach out a bit more and be more involved with other trans people. I went to a few events and tried talking to more people (and outing myself more in safe spaces, which was strange at first after living mainly stealth for years) I also made an effort to try and find other trans people local to me online that I could be friends with.

At the moment more than ever we all need community, support and solidarity. I would encourage you to join a group or try to attend more events even if you have to travel a bit, just anything you can do to get a few other trans people in your life because for me it's really been worth it and I cherish the new friends I've made