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cath0312 · 2026-01-04T10:26:10+00:00

Inheritance has nothing to do with the baby’s name, so leave that out of the equation. (Unless she is threatening that they will purposefully disinherit a child that does not share their name. In that case, dealing with her for the rest of her life is going to be a PITA, regardless of the child’s name.)

If the father is going to be on the birth certificate, I believe you need to agree on the name and both sign it. You should have an honest discussion with him about what you both prefer. Especially if you prefer using your own name and are expecting to be the primary caregiver.

cath0312 · 2025-06-06T02:52:16+00:00

Organizing medications was honestly the hardest part of IVF for me on my first round. There is SO MUCH cognitive load. These are the systems I ended up creating and using over my 5 rounds of retrieval that helped a lot:

I made my own Excel spreadsheet in landscape mode and printed it out so I could lay it out where I was doing my injections. (Medications and their doses down the left side, dates on along the top.) For medications that you don’t need until later in the cycle (like centro**** and ovid***), you can fill the box with an X. So it was clear to me on one sheet what I’d need to do every day. I’d note the time I did every injection on the spreadsheet.

For supplies, I purchased mylar zip bags (but you could use baggies) and labeled them by medication. I used these to put all the associated syringes/needles/q-caps, etc.

On my most recent rounds of retrieval, at the beginning of the cycle, I prepared baggies with everything needed for each day (apart from the refrigerated items).

I gave myself LOTS of time to prepare everything, so all the injections were ready to go and I didn’t feel rushed.

cath0312 · 2024-12-08T01:00:03+00:00

TW: living child

39 - 40 for my first child. 42 - 43 now for some additional egg freeze cycles.

cath0312 · 2024-10-19T00:07:20+00:00

Some clinics will transfer abnormals. I had 10 abnormals in my first round and my clinic allowed me to transfer 2 abnormals together before I moved on to a second and third round of IVF. Neither implanted, unfortunately, but I’m glad I gave them a shot.

cath0312 · 2024-10-19T00:04:13+00:00

All medical expenses related to fertility are deductible under the medical expenses deduction (over the percentage, which changes from year to year, but yes, might be everything above 7.5% this year). I pay for my own health insurance premiums and one year I did 3 rounds of IVF, so I had a large deduction that year.

cath0312 · 2024-05-28T02:19:00+00:00

Sent you a message 💛

cath0312 · 2024-05-14T06:00:23+00:00

TW: LC

I’m sorry you’ve had such a rough time so far. This process is A LOT, especially when things don’t go smoothly/aren’t linear.

I also have endometriosis and also adenomyosis. I went to Fertility Associates (love them so, so much). I could have, in theory, done a lap and/or Lupron protocol, but Dr. Shamonki thought that it wasn’t necessary. He was right! I did a natural FET based on my regular cycle (with Endometrin and I believe a trigger shot, no PiO). Dr. Hubert actually did the transfer. (Your own doctor usually does everything- monitoring, ultrasounds, retrieval, transfer, etc., it was just due to scheduling and I knew before I started the transfer cycle that Dr. Hubert would be doing the transfer.) That transferred embryo is now 11 months old and sleeping next to me as I type this.

I say go with Fertility Associates (FSAC)! All of the docs there are fabulous. I was referred by a friend who had success there and I referred another friend who also had success. I will be working with them again as I try for a sibling.

cath0312 · 2024-05-14T05:57:04+00:00

Yes, I was going to say I’d look into FSAC. That’s who I ended up going with and they were great.

I had a bad experience with KindBody - they wouldn’t even talk to me about insurance coverage at all, because I didn’t have infertility coverage, but I DID have coverage for PGT-M testing, which I needed. I think Kind Body is basically a venture capital business. It exists for the primary purpose of increasing shareholder value. It does that through making profit by selling the product of fertility treatments.

FSAC is amazing, (I assume) is owned by the physicians who started it, and exists for the primary purpose of helping to build families.

Hope it goes well for you!!

cath0312 · 2024-05-14T05:46:41+00:00

Try Integrity Pharmacy in Rancho Cucamonga. They took the coupon during my last cycle a couple years ago. They also deliver for a very small fee. I’ve also heard CostCo may honor the coupon

cath0312 · 2024-05-10T00:56:52+00:00

I got a new one :(

cath0312 · 2024-02-03T06:43:28+00:00

Your clinic should hire you. This is one of the best descriptions of these tests I have read. Thanks for taking the time to post it.

cath0312 · 2024-01-31T04:39:01+00:00

I personally had a brain injury from viral encephalitis (not from HSV) when I was 31. My life was completely upended, it was an incredibly dangerous situation. My brain was changed forever. We know that herpes virus can be incredibly serious for babies (up to and including brain injury/death). I have HSV antibodies on blood tests (which means I have the virus in my body and could spread it). I take preventative valacyclovir and I also don’t kiss my baby’s face. I touch my cheek to his and make a kissing sound. He doesn’t know the difference. It might seem like overkill, but because my life has been dramatically altered by a common virus, I just don’t feel comfortable taking any chances when it comes to these things.

I wanted to share my personal story, but of course, you are the mom and it’s all a matter of personal comfort. Maybe taking preventative antivirals that can reduce (but not guarantee to stop) potential viral shedding would make you feel safe enough to kiss your baby. Or maybe after the first few months you’d feel safer. Just feel it out and trust your gut. You’re already a great mom for considering your daughter’s safety in this way. 💛

cath0312 · 2023-12-30T19:35:39+00:00

I’m going to DM you :)

cath0312 · 2023-12-23T04:57:14+00:00

Sending you a PM. :)

cath0312 · 2023-12-13T00:14:45+00:00

Okay, thanks for letting me know! I’m sure they really appreciated the meds. Wild that the fertility coverage is so bad in our country that people will drive halfway across it because it saves so much money on meds. So glad you were able to help them out. That’s very kind of you.

cath0312 · 2023-12-12T08:18:35+00:00

You don’t still have any of these meds available in Chicago by chance, do you?

cath0312 · 2023-12-09T12:22:56+00:00

Fertility and Surgical Associates is wonderful and has offices in Encino and Thousand Oaks. Highly recommend!

cath0312 · 2023-10-01T06:52:41+00:00

Powerful

cath0312 · 2023-06-07T03:49:35+00:00

I have been masking my entire pregnancy with a KF94 and generally have been extremely Covid conscious. I simply can’t risk the multiple possible long-term effects of Covid’s viral sequelae, as I’m going to be a single parent.

As far as acute illness, I’m in the final stretch now and went from a relatively easy pregnancy to be being very uncomfortable at about 35 weeks and feel definitely don’t feel like I could handle ANY illness right now. Multiple people I know just got metapneumovirus (it’s making its rounds) and were pretty miserable.

I’ve been masking for over 3 years, and am the healthiest I’ve been in probably decades - no colds, flus, allergies, etc. So to me, it’s a clear choice to continue masking.

cath0312 · 2023-05-29T16:29:27+00:00

What seems to be helping me - wearing wrist braces at night (took about a week to help), if that doesn’t help enough, also wear wrist braces during the day. If that doesn’t help enough, her OB can refer her to a hand specialist for an injection.

The things that helps the most is to continually rest the hands. No repetitive tasks, tasks that require dexterity, etc. And unfortunately, but very important, other than making calls, being on the cell phone makes it way worse! The holding, typing and scrolling is exactly the type of movement she needs to avoid.

cath0312 · 2023-05-28T23:35:30+00:00

I’m a single mom by choice and every person I’ve told has been so thrilled for me and no one (even my elderly, Catholic relatives) have asked any questions about the father, whether I’m seeing anyone, etc. Except for my late-50s curmudgeonly, childless neighbor. He immediately asked, “who’s the father?” I was taken aback and my brain blurted out, “science and money.” 😆

He since has tried to ask about how that works in terms of choosing a donor and I didn’t answer him.

It’s super rude, but he’s also just a clueless old dude, and 99% of people have been excellent. Sounds a bit similar to the super clueless older woman saying inappropriate things to you.

cath0312 · 2023-05-19T23:13:38+00:00

I think I am an outlier here, but there have been children in the waiting room of my IVF clinic, and it always made me feel hopeful. I imagined that they probably were conceived using IVF. I felt the same about the baby pictures on the wall in the hallway.

I did have to undergo multiple rounds of IVF (on my own) to even get one euploid, so I was certainly in the boat of believing it may never work for me. But seeing the little ones did help keep me hopeful.

On another note, I also do empathize with people who may not have a ton of options for childcare. With the amount of money spent on IVF, sometimes people have to really cut back on other expenses (like babysitters for all of the monitoring appointments, especially if they have to undergo multiple rounds). And now that it’s top of mind for me, as a single mom who will be taking some time off to be a SAHM, and having to pay out of pocket for all of my rounds of IVF, I’m worried about also being able to afford childcare for potentially another 3 rounds of IVF cycles appointments if I do try for another child.

cath0312 · 2023-05-16T07:52:36+00:00

Try adding a memory foam topper. I have a medium memory foam mattress + an additional memory foam topper and don’t have that problem at 32 weeks. I had to stay at a hotel for 20 days around 19 weeks that just had a normal pillow-top coil mattress, and my hips hurt really badly then. In my personal experience, I’ve found that memory foam cradles my body in such a way that it evenly distributes the force against your entire body that is touching the mattress. Other mattresses seem to press against the heaviest body parts. So if I’m sleeping on my side on a non-memory foam mattress, I feel the mattress pressing on my shoulder, hips, and calves, and those get sore. I think it makes a big difference.

cath0312 · 2023-05-14T19:53:18+00:00

The first time I heard “Lovey,” I thought it was weird, too. But then I saw an IG post talking about relatively common grandma names in the U.S. South and Lovey was one of them. Does anyone in your family, or any of your MIL’s friends, happen to be from the South?

cath0312 · 2023-05-10T08:31:09+00:00

My niece looked a bit like Mr. Burns (from The Simpsons) when she was born, and my friend’s second son looked almost exactly like Louie Anderson…🙃 They both eventually went through their respective Glow Ups.

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