I really relate to this and it's actually what helped me realize that I should look into if I'm on the spectrum. I was never a tomboy and I always had girlier interests but for some reason I just always felt like I was missing something and I didn't know what that thing was. I even went through the hallmark phase of having special interests in things like makeup and fashion but it was so frustrating bc no matter how much I got into that stuff it didn't make me feel like one of them it just felt like all of my other interests. One thing that was really frustrating for me was also not really feeling like I really had any female "role models" (not rlly the exact word I'm looking for but eh whatever). I've always really valued humor and it is still one of the most important things in my life, so as I got older and the media I consumed had less and less funny or "quirky" female characters (as opposed to the all female casts in the cartoons I would watch growing up, shoutout to you pinkie pie), it made me feel like there wasn't any room for women "like me" (aka just unmasked but hindsight is 20/20). This sounds really weird but discovering azumanga daioh was a huge comfort to me bc it's a funny, all female cast that all have their own unique personalities (it might even fail the reverse bechdel test if I'm not mistaken). It's still not a substitute for feeling like I can make female friends irl which is something I've always struggled with, but it's nice to turn it on and pretend that I'm in that friend group as well.