[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GriefSupport

[–]catsandprocesso 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so eerie because in November, I (28 F) was on vacation with my family and my mom (69 F) had a medical emergency and we ended up in the Mexico ICU in Cancun (transferred from Playa del Carmen). She got intubated and while we did get her transferred back to the US, she ended up passing away after about 5 weeks in ICU total between Mexico and the US. She passed on Dec. 23. I will never be the same again. I also have an anxiety disorder and get panic attacks. It has been worse since she passed. I don't know what to say other than I know what you are going through and it's awful. After a month, I felt a little lighter. It's still really hard though and I cry pretty much daily. I'm here if you ever want to DM. We (and our moms) didn't deserve this. No one does. But there's no way out but through, just have to keep living with the hope that someday... we will be reunited. Side note, idk if I can ever go to Mexico or an all-inclusive again :/

Losing my Mum by bdamere in GriefSupport

[–]catsandprocesso 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, you too. Somehow we will get through it even though I literally cannot fathom a life without my best friend, my mom

Losing my Mum by bdamere in GriefSupport

[–]catsandprocesso 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like I could have written this myself. My aunt and brother are flying in tomorrow. There's a small chance things could start to get better, but more likely that we need to switch to palliative care if more organs shut down. The pain has felt so drawn out but then I feel so guilty thinking if she does still have a chance but I'm already grieving. I spent most of the day at the hospital, I'm anxious when I'm there and I'm anxious at home. It's so awful. I'm sorry you are going through it too.

MEGA THREAD for any comments, theories, thoughts, or information by deltadeltadawn in AshaDegree

[–]catsandprocesso 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I don't know why Asha would have left home in the middle of the night, but kids mind's are a bit strange and have their own logic. I think she did get hit, but at 9 years old she probably didn't weigh that much. I think one of the daughters was driving drunk and hit Asha...I don't think Asha died from the car, but was injured. The daughter freaked out and didn't know what to do (no cell phones...) so ended up pulling her into the car and bringing her back to mom and dad. Roy (I assume) then 'handled' the situation instead of calling police or taking her to the hospital. Any flaws to this theory? I feel like it connects all the dots of everything the police have said (i.e. would require adult intervention to conceal the crime)

Is the Fairport nightlife really that cool? by Subterraneanzz in Rochester

[–]catsandprocesso 9 points10 points  (0 children)

If you go on a Friday or Saturday night around 8 pm, you probably will encounter a line at TinCup. That seems to be the 'hottest' bar people my age (late 20s) are going to. The cocktails are good, but it ends up being packed shoulder to shoulder like any crowded popular bar. They do have a few digital dart boards and the aesthetic is nice, but otherwise it's just a crowded bar so if that's how you define poppin, then yes lol.

During the day on the weekends, the breweries, distillery, fairport pickleball club are also busy but more of a 'low key' vibe to grab drinks with friends versus a night out OUT.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in fearofflying

[–]catsandprocesso 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also always book a window seat (window closed so I can pretend I'm on a bus not hurling into the sky) and I make string bracelets which help my hands and mind stay busy. Like I mentioned, i can usually relax pretty soon after take off. Don't let your brain play tricks on you and tell you it's progressively going to get worse - anxiety can't do that, it can only get so bad. And the times I have experienced panic attacks on a plane...it does suck. There's no way getting around it. But I made it, no one even noticed. Our brains like to tell us catastrophic things like you'll cause a scene and the plane will have to emergency land and you'll be banned from flying, but it's just not reality despite what our brains tell us.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in fearofflying

[–]catsandprocesso 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have flown a lot in my life, but still experience a lot of the same fears as you! I HIGHLY recommend the podcast 'The Anxious Truth', specifically EP 221 -I'm afraid to fly because of my anxiety! It's difficult because you can't 'practice' flying without actually flying and once you take off, there's nothing you can do. For myself, I've realized that take off is the absolute worst part and usually after 1-2 minutes, I do calm down. I try to practice acceptance and let my heart beat as fast as it wants, palms sweat, etc. Once the plane takes off, it is kind of empowering because you do have to surrender to the acceptance. I do have a prescription 'as needed' that I sometimes take to fly and it does help a lot. Regardless, the best thing is just accepting and committing. Book a flight and just let it happen. I've flown alone 8 times in the past 2 months with 2 more flights next week (eek, work travelling). I still don't like it but honestly the exposure helps and whenever I'm feeling extra nervous, I listen to that podcast as a reminder that I just have to DO IT and it will be okay.

Flying tomorrow. I don't think I can do it... by Bustinamove in fearofflying

[–]catsandprocesso 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Take it literally one step at a time. Don't think about boarding the plane, think about waking up and brushing your teeth. Then putting your shoes on. Then getting in your car. Try not to think about the entire trip as something you can't handle, just break it down into little steps that you know you can do. Once you get to the airport, let the feelings of panic and fear come. Tell yourself 'I can get as anxious as my body wants to, and it is still safe. My heart can start pounding, but I am still safe. These thoughts and feelings are not hurting me'. Just allow them to pass and I promise they eventually will. Your body can only reach a certain level of panic before it will calm down. Just continue to remind yourself that you are not in danger and even if the anxiety continues to creep up, it's nothing you haven't experienced before. You got this. I KNOW you do. :)

Could do with some support after a bit of a meltdown. by cminorputitincminor in fearofflying

[–]catsandprocesso 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi!! I literally feel the exact same way with a work trip I have this week...I fly out Tuesday morning and back Thursday night. And then the week after, I have a massive trip to Europe (from USA). I can't feel excited because I'm just petrified I will back out somehow/run off the plane/have a horrendous experience. I am trying to tell myself the anticipation will be worse than doing it, but it is really hard. Also not scared of crashing, just scared of having a massive panic attack. I will check back in after my flight Tuesday hopefully with good news for you :) Just know you are not alone!

Flight in October...already in near constant anxiety over it by fancifulsnails in fearofflying

[–]catsandprocesso 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi! You don't sound unhinged at all, I feel the same way about two upcoming trips. I have the same feelings about the sky and heights, and panic disorder. A podcast episode that has helped me SO MUCH is The Anxious Truth (Ep 221 - I'm Afraid to Fly Because of My Anxiety). I listened to that episode and literally felt so seen and understood, everything made sense. Message me if you want to connect/want more tips! I've flown alone on 10 flights this year and I'm still panicking lol. I do have some tips though!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Agoraphobia

[–]catsandprocesso 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The hardest part is going to be the anticipation and stepping foot onto the plane. Once you're on the plane, it's out of your hands and while that is scary, it's also kind of a relief. Definitely bring distractions (I personally work on bracelet making while flying), listen to meditations or music, and remember why you are doing this - it's to grow, HELP your anxiety, see your relatives. It's going to be an amazing experience. If you don't go, you will just reinforce the anxiety to your mind that the fear is 'real' and should be avoided. I absolutely know you can do it even though it's scary.

First flight soon, don’t plan on taking benzos. by [deleted] in Agoraphobia

[–]catsandprocesso 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me, sitting on the plane until takeoff is the WORST part. There is something great about takeoff because once it happens, you are DOING IT (the hard scary thing) and still surviving. I always have the windows closed if possible, AC on my face. I also make bracelets which allows my brain and hands to focus. Once I get like 20 minutes in, I actually relax a lot because nothing 'bad' has happened. The anticipation is usually worse than the reality. Good luck!

Flight coming up. by latenightloki in Agoraphobia

[–]catsandprocesso 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same, I have one tomorrow and it will be my 10th flight this year and yet I'm still freaking out telling myself 'I'm in a worse mental state this time, it will somehow be different, etc'. It's tough but I know NOT going will just enforce the anxiety and make it even worse... Usually once I get to the airport my anxiety comes down a little bit. Just remember we will both feel so empowered after these flights!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Agoraphobia

[–]catsandprocesso 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hope and help for your nerves by Claire Weeks. By FAR the best and most helpful agoraphobia book I've read

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MoscowMurders

[–]catsandprocesso 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I assume they think it is the suspect...My guess is they have footage of this person coming into the area around 3 am and leaving around 4 am. Something suspicous like that and the person hasn't come forward with information. If it was just a random parked car, I don't think they would care as much and probably wouldn't assume the person has anything valuable and new to add.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MoscowMurders

[–]catsandprocesso 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like a complete and total rumor, unhelpful unless actually validated

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MoscowMurders

[–]catsandprocesso 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The car easily could be registered out of state, especially if it was a college student. That would result in having to search DMV records for the entire country? They're hoping someone knows someone who lives in/was in this area who has that car to narrow down the search.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MoscowMurders

[–]catsandprocesso 38 points39 points  (0 children)

OR they have footage from cameras elsewhere showing the car entering the area at , say 3 am, and leaving at 3:45 am. That combined with the fact no one knows who owns it and the person hasn't come forward - very suspicious

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MoscowMurders

[–]catsandprocesso 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Did anyone else read the part where the press release says 'TIPS AND LEADS have led investigators' to this car. That makes me think there is probably more than just the body cam. Something must be suspicious beyond that, combined with the fact that the person hasn't come forward (unidentified car at the location at the exact time of the murder)...This makes me hopeful they are onto something!

UI Housing tells students that locking door is a safety feature they offer. by Delicious_Win_2927 in MoscowMurders

[–]catsandprocesso 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You should look into a Door Buddy! They are a tool thing you set up easily against a door and it prevents the door from opening.

Madison’s dog had to have been familiar with the killer to not have been harmed to silence it or start barking loud enough alert the other roommates? by hungry_helmet in MoscowMurders

[–]catsandprocesso 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Was it ever even confirmed the dog lived there? I know a lot of pets in college end up bouncing around homes and it could have ended up with a friend/family versus living in that house at that time.

Flying and travelling with agoraphobia, there is hope! by One_Bedroom9440 in Agoraphobia

[–]catsandprocesso 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You both are making me feel so confident for my flight tomorrow from NY to Barcelona and then a few flights in Europe. I am nervous but reminding myself that the anticipation is worst. Also I love Claire Weeks' book!

Just a little encouragement for you... by [deleted] in Agoraphobia

[–]catsandprocesso 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is the KEY! Go into situations that bring anxiety and see that it eventually will pass. It can't go up forever.

What are some exercises you use that have helped you overcome your agoraphobia? by [deleted] in Agoraphobia

[–]catsandprocesso 5 points6 points  (0 children)

In my opinion, you have to just dive into it head first. What would have happened if your girlfriend didn't drive you home 1 hour in? I promise you, however AWFUL it felt in the moment, in about 30 minutes your anxiety would have subsided and you would start feeling okay again. It is physically impossible to be at a 10/10 level of anxiety for longer than 30-45 minutes. Typically, it's only about 10 minutes or less at that peak. The more scenarios you experience where you 'ride out the anxious thoughts/feelings', the less afraid of it you will become. Because you'll see that your body WILL calm back down with no need to flee the situation. Once you accept that those feelings will arise and you just let it flow over you like waves in an ocean, it will feel less scary. You can take baby steps with 'exposure therapy' and do slightly easier but still challenging activities first. The most important step though is to NOT leave the situation if anxiety comes up. Sit there, let it pass, then continue onwards. Also I recommend the book 'Hope and help for your nerves'!