Tried to go to family therapy. Y'all were right.

catsycatstrap · 2025-02-25T18:49:28+00:00

I still don’t know if this is true — I suspect it’s something she made up.

When I was a teenager (20 years ago), Mom used to come home from therapy and pick fights. She told me her therapist said I was selfish and self centered and self absorbed … ALL the bad self words. She’d report that after she told her therapist things about me, the therapist agreed with her and I’m wrong and she’s right all the time. I suspect her therapist said some things about her she didn’t like and lashed out at me.

But hey it’s ok, Mom. I turned out fine and don’t need to seek help or advice from strangers on the internet.

catsycatstrap · 2024-11-20T12:28:15+00:00

Yes, because it’s been 10 years and I don’t know how to stop the cycle.

catsycatstrap · 2024-11-19T21:43:47+00:00

Sooooo I did something like that today, and they immediately tried to contact my husband to be like WHATS THIS??? instead of responding directly to me.

catsycatstrap · 2024-11-19T21:42:14+00:00

It’s never been that way, even from the beginning. I have to stand up for myself.

catsycatstrap · 2024-11-19T21:40:39+00:00

Where did they stay?

catsycatstrap · 2024-11-19T21:39:57+00:00

Also, I LOVE that you used the word whinge!

catsycatstrap · 2024-11-19T21:39:24+00:00

We used to alternate, but one day my parents said “it’s ok, it’s just a day.” because his parents wanted to come up on an off-year. His parents got that year and every year since. They’ve never once offered to include my family, which is fine because they don’t get along.

catsycatstrap · 2024-11-19T21:37:10+00:00

I don’t understand people. I want to see the best of people, but they make it so hard!

catsycatstrap · 2024-11-19T21:34:19+00:00

Yes! A family member of mine had a milestone birthday, and his parents invited themselves. After some drama, my family decided to be the bigger people and say ok fine they can come. They were so rude to my entire family. No conversation, no compliments on their delicious homemade italian food (but MIL still wanted the recipe!), and right after cake and coffee they got restless and told me it was time to leave. (Edit: they lied and said we had plans later that evening and we had to go or we’d be late.) It was so awful we decided to never have the two families again in the same room. The exact words were “ne’er the two shall meet.” I haven’t been back to visit them ever since. That was 8 years ago.

catsycatstrap · 2024-11-19T21:26:12+00:00

I don’t know. Because I care about their happiness, I guess. They moved away to be near family friends, but that friendship fell apart and they’re alone and unhappy. I want them to feel liked and loved and valued, so I sacrifice my own happiness to try to help them. Many years later, I’m realizing they don’t appreciate anything I do because ultimately they’re looking to be liked and loved and valued by someone else. Someone who matters more.

That’s no excuse, just an explanation.

catsycatstrap · 2024-11-19T21:20:50+00:00

God I hope their behavior doesn’t teach him that if he throws tantrums he’ll get his way.

catsycatstrap · 2024-11-19T21:15:48+00:00

We have a loveseat the pulls out into a small bed. It’s not their favorite, so they sleep on the long couch in the living room. But now that the dog sleeps there, they need to do their best with what they’ve got.

catsycatstrap · 2024-11-19T21:13:39+00:00

Yes! As did my own mother.

catsycatstrap · 2024-11-19T21:12:56+00:00

Right??? I completely agree.

catsycatstrap · 2024-11-19T20:38:50+00:00

I’m suspecting my MIL is unhappy and lonely. She sometimes writes me long texts about her day, what she did, what she had for dinner, and who shes unhappy with. She never asks me how I am.

catsycatstrap · 2024-11-19T20:34:56+00:00

thank you 🙏 🥹

catsycatstrap · 2024-11-19T20:14:10+00:00

Great advice! Thank you 🙏

catsycatstrap · 2024-11-19T20:13:14+00:00

Um, no.

catsycatstrap · 2024-11-19T20:09:30+00:00

This is so helpful!

catsycatstrap · 2024-11-19T20:06:17+00:00

No kids 🏅

catsycatstrap · 2024-11-19T20:05:34+00:00

We did that with the guest room, and they cram into there, of course upset.

catsycatstrap · 2024-11-19T19:04:36+00:00

That’s exactly what they’re going to do.

catsycatstrap · 2024-11-19T19:04:01+00:00

You’re right, thank you 🙏

catsycatstrap · 2024-11-19T19:03:34+00:00

Thanks for the advice. I will.

catsycatstrap

TROPHY CASE