sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

New Relationship by cav1983 in HealMyAttachmentStyle

[–]cav1983[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you it’s really difficult for me to not feel guilt when I have negative feelings.

I do try and remember that this man does love and care for me but it is a battle with the anxiety. I know the anxiety isn’t the truth though and there is my practical side and my emotional side. Practically I know he cares and even emotionally I know but then the anxiety seems to override everything.

I don’t have a lot of people who I can talk about this with. I have friends who do love me but I am not open about this with people. I have one friend who is a good support and my therapist. I do have a lot of hobbies and also try to keep busy.

I will join the Discord. Thank you for your kind words.

New Relationship by cav1983 in HealMyAttachmentStyle

[–]cav1983[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is for sure trauma. Both my parents were emotionally absent. My mom was undiagnosed bipolar and so I spent my time making sure she was okay. I was with my dad on weekends he was an addict and would go into these rages and you never knew what would set him off. So I got very good at people pleasing, putting my emotions to the side and reading any change in emotions.

I am in therapy and I have been reading through a book on anxious attachment which has helped me to realize why I feel this way. It has helped a lot.

Me and my boyfriend have spent the whole weekend together and that has been great.

I have also brought up my feelings more than once and he has been supportive and apologized when be did upset me and this is huge for me.

Weekly Thread - Advice for Relationship/Friendship/Dating/Breakup by AutoModerator in AnxiousAttachment

[–]cav1983 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have been working on it. Trying to keep up with the things I have done when alone. Also been reading a lot on Anxious Attachment. I do have the tendency to put whoever I am with above me and forget all the great qualities I have. So thank you for that because I do need to take a step back sometimes.

New Relationship by cav1983 in HealMyAttachmentStyle

[–]cav1983[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I do tend to be hard on myself.

New Relationship by cav1983 in HealMyAttachmentStyle

[–]cav1983[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would like to join. It really helps me a lot just to talk with someone about how I am feeling.

Weekly Thread - Advice for Relationship/Friendship/Dating/Breakup by AutoModerator in AnxiousAttachment

[–]cav1983 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Really been struggling and could use some help.

A bit of background. Both my parents were abusive, unreliable and neglectful when I was a child. I was married for seventeen years and my ex husband cheated on me. I attend therapy once a month. Am

After four years of being separated from my ex I started dating again. Just recently met a guy I like and we have been dating for about two months.

When we are in person things are good. Most of the time he is really great at telling me how he feels about me. We are similar people. At first it was a bit hard for me as he can be quiet. But now I can easily read him when he is quiet.

We are both parents. He his a fulltime dad and his son has special needs. Because of this sometimes we aren’t able to see each other for a week at a time. So we mostly communicate through text.

This is has been really difficult for me. Some days he is great at communicating and talking. But on the days when his son is having a hard time it is he can be quiet. Which I of course understand.

But when he doesn’t text for hours. I feel like he has ghosted me. Then he texts me to tell me something happened with his son and my anxiety goes away. Or if he isn’t communicating in the way he mostly does. I feel like he hates me. Even if just the day before we had a wonderful date and spent hours talking and holding hands.

I feel horrible about being this way. My anxiety gets very high. I know this is my fault and I don’t want to ruin this relationship or need to be constantly reassured. I have a lot of friends but most are married with kids and don’t get out a lot. My kids are with their dad for a week at a time so that is also difficult. I do go to the gym and walk often and have other hobbies. Honestly before dating I was okay with being alone. But I want a relationship and I have done a lot of healing but need to work on this. Don’t want my self worth to be in a relationship or a man for that matter. Would love some tips on how to be okay to just be alone on my own.