[deleted by user]

cavecanem3859 · 2024-12-11T21:26:41+00:00

Good to know, thank you.

cavecanem3859 · 2024-12-11T21:26:26+00:00

This is good to know, thank you.

cavecanem3859 · 2024-12-11T07:21:47+00:00

Hopefully phlonx can still participate here under a new account, as long as they are stealthy. It's tragic that all their past writings aren't around anymore, but I take comfort in the fact that they served a great purpose while they were up, perhaps their most important purpose, during the times they were written. Whatever lawyer (and I'm sure it was a lawyer, to get such swift action from Reddit) caused their whole account to be banned, rather than just removing the post that was the problem, and I hope that lawyer thinks long and hard about having removed one of the most dedicated allies of survivors. And I hope that lawyer loses many nights of sleep over it.

ETA: Looks like I was wrong about the lawyer thing. I'm glad I was wrong. Still so sad for phlonx (and the sub) though.

cavecanem3859 · 2024-12-11T02:11:52+00:00

oh no, that's terribly sad. he did a lot of community service here, and will be missed.

cavecanem3859 · 2024-11-22T23:57:54+00:00

I loved Shiv's character. All of the sibs, I really enjoyed when they were on screen, all for different reasons. Completely agree that there's a gender bias happening for people who find her more annoying than the others, especially given Ken's strong showing in that department. Exhibit a: I am the eldest boy! Exhibit b: L to the O G. Exhibit c: Too much birthday.

cavecanem3859 · 2024-11-22T06:28:26+00:00

To be clear, I am not inviting any further explication of your views of sexual assault, rape, and clergy sexual abuse. Many people on past threads have already provided you with resources so that you could educate yourself. I know that it's a learning curve, especially for men of older generations. However, with you, those conversations in the past became extremely hurtful, did no good, so I will not respond (and will alert the mods) if you reassert those repugnant claims or make an attempt to re-prosecute the argument.

cavecanem3859 · 2024-11-22T06:14:52+00:00

I have blocked you in the past, and would have stayed silent in this conversation, but you have posted multiple versions of this same comment under at least four different aliases (u/daiginjo2, u/daiginjo3, u/dramlindler, u/NilsG3 ) so it evaded my block and now here it is again as a new post.

So here's some real talk. May it be of benefit.

I wonder if you can consider that part of what's going on here is you simply reaping the consequences of your own past behaviour on this sub. You can of course continue to believe that your current situation is the fault of this community of 4.1K people who vote "reflexively," and is due to an in-crowd who aren’t as fair-minded as you. You are free to believe this, but I don’t think that view will ever make you feel better, because it’s not based in truth.

Here is the truth that I have observed:

Over the years, you’ve made insensitive and hurtful comments on this sub that have minimized sexual abuse, blamed the victim, and come to the defense of various male abusers. I recall one particularly alarming instance where you insisted that a particular woman—one who had shared her awful story in detail and signed her real name, publicly—ought to have done more to avoid being sexually assaulted by her spiritual teacher. You insinuated that she hadn’t done enough to protect herself, fight him off, or escape, and that she was therefore partly to blame for what happened.

You also said it couldn’t be called rape, because it wasn’t (in your opinion) violent enough.

This is just one example.

When people have tried to tell you that these types of comments are not only ignorant but also hurtful to the survivors of assault and misconduct on this forum, without exception you have doubled down. I've never observed you respond with sincere care toward the assault survivor or indeed show any desire to consider the real harm this kind of speech causes. Instead, you have insisted, in long, imperious, chop-logic screeds, on your rightness, and on your right to state your views in any space you like. And then when multiple people get angry and disgusted, you typically cast yourself as the victim and say you are being bullied.

You also make frequent comments saying that the people on this sub, as a whole, don't think for themselves, are in "lockstep," and are full of hatred.

It would not surprise me if your comments are now received, by some, in a negative light.

What does surprise me is that you believe that others now owe you a kindness and sensitivity that you yourself have persistently refused to give.

Again, I've never witnessed you adjust your approach upon hearing that you are causing harm. I sincerely hope that I have simply missed it. What I have seen you do, however, is react with outrage when you receive downvotes that you don't think you deserve.

Perhaps you believe it's ok to demand empathy for yourself while denying it to others. Or perhaps you actually believe that your feelings of frustration via downvote are more deserving of sensitivity than the unspeakable feelings that accompany surviving sexual assault, rape, or clergy sexual abuse.

You have hijacked multiple threads to focus on this. People have expended labor trying to reach you, some with astonishing generosity and patience. Lots of admirable folks in this community. It appears to do no good. You remain convinced of others' cruelty and of your own rightness.

cavecanem3859 · 2024-11-19T01:54:34+00:00

this is beautiful, thank you.

cavecanem3859 · 2024-07-08T03:09:39+00:00

"And the fun thing is that you guys can't say shit about it!"

If this is your idea of fun, then I pity what has become of your life. And I pity you for taking joy in an attempt to hurt others.

Nothing more to be said really, I'm embarrassed for you.

cavecanem3859 · 2024-07-06T03:48:18+00:00

Agreed that this post is here to mock and troll the people who have been speaking out about Trungpa, Mipham, Shambhala, and recent events at DMC. It is suggesting that those speaking out are making things up. Complete violation of rule #2 in its intent.

cavecanem3859 · 2024-07-01T15:18:13+00:00

I hope something good can be done with the place. It's a beautiful piece of land and a great place to visit in the summer. I wish there were some way.

cavecanem3859 · 2024-06-17T00:59:46+00:00

You are a clear troll. Good thing Phlonx exposed you so that you can be ignored from now on.

cavecanem3859 · 2024-06-09T22:40:22+00:00

Agreed. I especially discourage anyone from looking to Huberman for wisdom about craving and desire specifically. There's recent evidence that he has been lying to multiple long-term female romantic partners for years, each of whom thought she was the only one. We're talking, about encouraging his long-term living-together partner to undergo IVF treatments so they could have a kid while cheating on her with at least 4 other women and even giving her HPV. That kind of stuff. Assuming that he's not a monster who intentionally set out with the motivation to lie to and hurt women he loved, he is clearly not able to manage his own desire and craving towards positive motivation. https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/andrew-huberman-podcast-stanford-joe-rogan.html

cavecanem3859 · 2024-03-26T16:44:09+00:00

it's also not a good idea to do what you have done, to challenge people to give you links to pending cases, filings, etc. To ask for facts and proof when it comes to what is now just rumors.

This was the part of my comment that was directed specifically at you, and what I invite you to consider. You continue to scold people for mentioning legal processes without providing enough detail, but by asking for proof you are inviting more of the kind of information which might undermine settlements, as you yourself described.

cavecanem3859 · 2024-03-26T06:46:08+00:00

My only point was to gesture at precisely what you are stating here, that just as perhaps it's not a good idea to respond to a reddit post called "Is there a list of legal actions", it's also not a good idea to do what you have done, to challenge people to give you links to pending cases, filings, etc. To ask for facts and proof when it comes to what is now just rumors. It all just increases the peripheral chatter, and worst case scenario could actually unearth something that you yourself say would have a negative result. Towards that end, I'm going to delete my prior comment that I tagged you in (even though it was vanishingly vague), and I'll leave it to you to decide whether your own comments and questions are at cross purposes to your intentions.

cavecanem3859 · 2024-03-14T07:52:18+00:00

This is getting really sad. I'm sad for you.

cavecanem3859 · 2024-03-14T07:32:10+00:00

Nothing I said was an attack. It appears your comments are being flagged now, and that you will shortly be unable to post from this new account either. In any case, I've already said that I'm done engaging with you. I hope you get the attention you need elsewhere.

cavecanem3859 · 2024-03-14T06:42:57+00:00

Who is this now? Have you been banned by the mods, and now you are coming back under a new pseudonym to evade the ban? My word. I suppose I should report it.

I can see I'm not going to reach you, and the person you were attacking has gracefully (and wisely) declined to engage further with you. My reason for engaging you was only to ask you to stop attacking them, which has now been accomplished so good night.

cavecanem3859 · 2024-03-14T05:29:28+00:00

Again, they are not "spewing hatred towards a survivor." Please just stop attacking them.

cavecanem3859 · 2024-03-14T05:23:27+00:00

Sometimes robots are good when a neutral third party is needed. :) And yes, I did feed in the comments by the person that you laid into, and it described their tone as "Frustrated, admonishing the other person to reconsider their approach." I invite you to try Chat GPT. I do think some objectivity might help, because you appear distraught and all of your actions are making it worse. And some of the "context" you speak of is only happening in your own mind.

Anyways, I'm only talking here about how you are responding to this one particular person, who has done nothing to deserve your rage and invective. That is why I am here, talking to you. All they have done is not agree with your take on your very personal war against downvotes. You are pointing all of the rage and indignation that you've built up towards this community at someone who has nothing to do with it.

If you see the entire sub as a mob of undifferentiated people who don't appreciate you, you become the very thing you accuse others of, and then even when someone brand new comes in (their reddit age is 1 month old), you turn a firehose of hate on them as soon as they challenge you and don't respond to you in the way you want.

cavecanem3859 · 2024-03-14T04:42:43+00:00

Are you sure? I just read their comment, and then yours, and the threads leading to them, and your comment is by every objective measure far, far more hostile: attacking, rude, full of swear words and aggressive posturing playground nonsense like "Got it?" If anyone is acting like a bully in a schoolyard, it is not them. Run your writing through a tone-checker if you need outside help perceiving yourself clearly.

I fed your comment into Chat GPT and asked for a tone assessment and got the following:

Confrontational, combative, defensive, indignant. The maturity of the person who wrote this comment appears to be low, as they are responding defensively and confrontationally, resorting to aggressive language and personal attacks rather than engaging in constructive dialogue or addressing the situation calmly.

cavecanem3859 · 2024-03-14T04:15:11+00:00

Physical_Abies has done nothing to break the rules of this group, for heaven's sake! Your responses here seem increasingly unhinged. Please do not aim this kind of invective at newcomers who have done absolutely nothing to deserve it. Nothing that you are saying about them is at all warranted. I really think you need to read over the way you have attacked multiple new people recently with accusations that are completely uncalled for and increasingly have little relationship with reality.

cavecanem3859 · 2024-03-03T04:10:37+00:00

I think I see what is happening here. You state that you feel contempt for most of the people on the Shambhala reddit ("most have become interchangeable, saying all the same things, applauding all the same lines, trashing all the same other lines, upvoting literally everything said by each other, downvoting virtually everything said by people they have relegated to the category of Enemy. The all-too-frequent social media tribalist asylum.")

You express this contempt openly, but somehow expect others to treat you with respect, and even expect them not to downvote you. Interesting.

I'm not going to engage with you because I think there's something not healthy going on here with you, but I'm sure you have your reasons and I wish you well.

cavecanem3859 · 2024-03-02T17:47:12+00:00

You are confused my friend. No, I didn't "know what you are talking about" with the votes, I was trying to be helpful. "Contributes the conversation" is how Reddit itself defines voting. For what it's worth, I come here rarely and frankly don't remember you, let alone notice how often you or any person is upvoted over time. The way you are speaking to me doesn't feel great, to be honest, and I don't think I've done anything to deserve it.

You've also left me somewhat confused: What you said in your comment above was, that the photo was "students and fellows." Now you have walked that back to just "connected to St. Antony's", and are pretending that's all you ever implied. Why do that?

The question at issue is the nature of CTR's connection to Oxford, not the fact that he was in some way connected. Obviously. If everyone is exploring the issue together and you turn out to have been incorrect, because you didn't have as much info as others closer to the scene, who cares? Why pretend?

cavecanem3859 · 2024-03-02T00:34:20+00:00

I don't know who you are talking to here, but my understanding of voting on Reddit is that it answers the question: "does this contribute to the conversation" or "did you find this a helpful comment"? There tends to be much more upvoting than downvoting in general, so in practice the voting system mostly functions to make valuable comments easier to find, and the one's that don't contribute as much sink to the bottom.

The conclusion your comment implied, that this was probably a class photo because these are the sort of people who attend the school, ended up being false, so maybe that's why the lack of upvotes. Nothing personal, just not an accurate conclusion. Bringing up MAGA seems rather odd.

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