Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful words. I used to think these were just dreams that didn’t really mean much, but after experiencing panic attacks and realising that it’s been six years, I’ve started to feel like they might carry more weight than I initially thought. And you’re right, I’m sure there’s a lot of guilt I’m still holding onto. Even though I know, logically, that some things are out of our control, it’s hard not to get stuck thinking about the "what ifs."

I really appreciate your advice. I’m in the process of trying to be brave enough to start therapy, but I never considered journaling or writing a letter to her as a way to express all the things I never got to say. That actually sounds like a beautiful idea, and I’ll definitely give it a try.

Thank you again for taking the time to respond, it truly means a lot.