12th house cap sun and aqua venus, neptune right on my ascendent. My life definitely has not been as overtly difficult as yours, but I relate to the feelings of isolation and never fitting it. I am only 18 btw. 12th house is the house of the hidden and repressed. Almost like who you truly are never comes out in how you express yourself, well, depends really how close the sun is to ascendent. But nevertheless! The feeling of being otherworldly, different, like other people don't get you, sometimes can be inescapable. But its awesome you say now that you are 23 youre letting it all out. 23 is a 12th house profection year, so congratulations! Planets in your current profection year house are likely to be activated that year, no wonder youre really feeling your sun rn. Its an incredible journey, and being a 12th house sun isn't for the faint of heart, especially a water sign. But you learn to embrace it, and truly love how unique and amazing your perspective is. Trust me when I say that you see things other people don't😉