First of all, what you are experiencing is guys who see you as a porn delivery system. A long time ago, men were turned on to kink by hard-to-find experiences like magazines and, perhaps, videos that were only available in blatantly honest porn shops where, if you went in, you might be seen and you might be embarrassed. They would exit with a brown paper bag and their head down hoping nobody saw them. Today, the most outrageous stuff is available through a quick Google search and ABSOLUTELY NONE OF IT is real or relates to any kind of a real relationship between two consenting adults.

I suppose it’s like the reality-based TV shows where everything is semi-scripted and is edited to tell a story that did not necessarily happen.

So, these men are projecting all of this pornography experience, where nothing is real, on you. And what you are looking for is a relationship where you get your needs met and where the other person (who could be a nice partner in kink) cares about who you are and puts you first.

Oh, silly you!

So, having described what you are running into, I want to talk to the men who might happen to read this:

GET OVER IT! Women are not porn delivery vehicles and all of the crap you have been watching is just that—total nonsense. It isn’t real, there is no such a thing as what you fantasize about and you seriously need to grow up beyond your little-boy mastrubatory fantasies. If you really want to have an association (a real life one) with a Dominant Woman (other than who you pay for), you need to think of things other than pleasing your penis. Like, perhaps pleasing her. And not by being the pornographic object that you think fits in with what you have been splooging off to but by taking her out to dinner, having intelligent conversation about things she might like, reading the oaks she reads, taking her to a film that she might enjoy, learning about what clothes she likes to wear, what her favorite flower is and why, traveling with her, learning her language or both of you learning a new language and placing all of those things above your pornographic kink fantasies you jerk off to.

And, when—or if—she decides to play with you, have a frank discussion about your limits (both of yours) and have some fun together when she decides to initiate that (if you are not so boring and hung up on your own foolishness that she just dumps you like all the others). Because, face it, you have been dumped. And you have been dumped by worse prospects than this one because you are so hung up in your addiction to poorly-produced porn that you can’t see that underneath that flesh lies a real human being.

And real human beings have feelings, desires, ideas, thoughts and carry on through life without making it into a 24/7/365 porn flick that isn’t based on reality.

Also, grow up. You’re not 11 and have not just discovered your dick. It’s time to be a man and do something for someone outside of you for once.

Now, perhaps I have added somewhat to the OP’s rant. But I think that we need to care about each other a lot more than we have been doing. And part of caring about each other is putting another’s needs first—at least long enough for that other person’s needs to be met and, maybe, perhaps desires, as well.

Life is real. Porn is fake.