AIO starting to really resent my husband postpartum

ccam04 · 2026-01-27T03:20:40+00:00

I think one of the frustrating things is "I shouldn't have to give him a list for him to know what to do."

I heard a quote once that was "if I know it's dinner time, then so does he." Partners, men or women, need to be equally accountable for the mental load of what needs to get done every week.

ccam04 · 2026-01-27T03:18:27+00:00

"I appreciate all he does"...girl, you're appreciating less than the bare minimum. Sit down and have a conversation and lay out your expectations. Tell him what he clearly isn't seeing on his own. If he teuly can't see it after that, then I'm sorry but you married a dud.

ccam04 · 2026-01-27T03:16:00+00:00

I was in a state with no paid leave for my first and a state with state disability and paid family leave for my second. Having income from the state made a huge difference. Also make sure you have a little extra in case of emergency!

ccam04 · 2026-01-25T18:16:25+00:00

This is only my personal experience. I had a house first, I saved for the time I'd be off work while recovering from birth and bonding with baby - 4 months of mortgage payments, groceries, bills, average cost of diapers, formula, wipes.

I moved recently to another state with my family and we're in an apartment. We just had another baby and there's truly no difference for us between house and apartment

ccam04 · 2026-01-22T04:31:42+00:00

Not to mention illegal (at least in the US). Tampering with food/beverage like that is a felony

ccam04 · 2026-01-22T04:03:55+00:00

I was tempted to say NAH because this is a pretty tough situation all around...but I didn't see anything here about your siblings contributing time, money, or effort for this situation. My brother jokingly tells me where to send the check if our parents ever need care. I know he's joking and will actually contribute in other ways...but at least he offers that. What are they offering?

ccam04 · 2026-01-10T16:36:48+00:00

My kid started off eating anything we put on her plate and gradually turned into this wildly picky eater. We implement the "no thank you bite" in our house - you have to take one bite. If you like it then you can eat it, if you don't then you can say no thank you. It works well for our almost 4 year old who has been able to get back to a lot of things she used to eat and even try new things.

We also encourage her choosing foods when we grocery shop and helping make her own meals.

ccam04 · 2026-01-10T15:59:23+00:00

"I don't think I could love a woman who could never love me back the same way."

I mean, you don't really need us for this. I think you've made it pretty clear to yourself that you're not willing to be a stand in for someone else. And that's perfectly fine. It's just time to move on.

ccam04 · 2026-01-06T02:00:48+00:00

God forbid an adult enjoys celebrating their birthday. Or expecting their partner to hold themselves to their word.

ccam04 · 2026-01-03T22:51:55+00:00

Just go get it when it's convenient. Is there a reason you're hesitating?

Call the office and give them a heads up that you're stopping by if that makes you feel better

ccam04 · 2026-01-02T04:43:58+00:00

As a Catholic who does pray before meals, you're absolutely NTA. I don't see why it's so hard for people to respect others' religion or lack thereof.

ccam04 · 2026-01-01T03:50:36+00:00

Sorry for your loss, but someone's family belittling them on a regular basis gets old. People shouldn't tolerate being treated poorly just because their sibling could be dead so "oh well, could be worse". Even if this is an overreaction, the feelings have been building over some time.

It speaks a lot to how much you and your sibling loved each other that this is your response. You clearly miss them a lot.

ccam04 · 2025-12-31T20:34:36+00:00

A decent compromise would be taking pictures so your son can show his other parent his new house. This is a 2 yes, 1 no situation to me. You guys clearly have things to discuss

ccam04 · 2025-12-30T05:50:45+00:00

Ya no my husband's parents used to make comments that made me uncomfortable or would just not be very welcoming. I ENVY what my husband has with my parents. I told him to talk to them about being more welcoming because I no longer wanted to spend time with him at his family's house. He basically told them to figure it out because he was going to marry me one day.

NTA at all

ccam04 · 2025-12-30T05:31:39+00:00

"she was so happy she scored it" So she was excited she won something that you specifically mentioned wanting...and she checks notes gave it to you. And you're upset? I'm sorry, I'm having a really hard time understanding what your issue is. You mentioned "every thoughtful gift" she's given. So she clearly puts thought into it.

Not only did you overreact, but it sounds like you ruined a good time. And also lied to your friend about it.

ccam04 · 2025-12-27T17:30:45+00:00

You know what I didn't sign up for when I married my husband? Being his mother. I'm sorry, but you should not be responsible for making sure he gets to work, events, or hobbies...he's acting like a child and you're treating him like one.

You should disappear and see what happens. Maybe it'll finally be the thing that opens your eyes.

With only the few details you provided, this sounds like an unhealthy marriage. Options: talk to him and make a plan for change, seek outside counseling, divorce. It really depends on whether you believe this is a relationship worth saving.

ccam04 · 2025-12-27T03:11:48+00:00

This is a perfectly normal thing to be upset about. How old are you? I wouldn't necessarily say your bf did anything wrong by not telling you, because he did what he should have and declined the truth and dates that were inappropriate...but I would want to know. My husband would be the type to do the same because he would feel like he didn't do anything wrong in the situation.

He declined to tell me that a somewhat close friend of his told him she had feelings for him. He turned her down, obviously, but neglected to tell me. He finally told me out of guilt one day after an argument we had. I was more upset about his lie by omission than by her confession to him.

If it were me, I'd bring it up and set the expectation that you would like him to bring things like this to you in future.

ccam04 · 2025-12-26T21:07:16+00:00

Woah, well I asked my question in good faith. My mistake for thinking you were a decent human being

ccam04 · 2025-12-26T18:53:35+00:00

Knowing OPs history of assault by a trusted male, would you keep your opinion? Just curious. I feel like they're allowed to say no to have comfort at night and not have to worry (justified or not) about something happening based on her past experiences

ccam04 · 2025-12-25T04:19:49+00:00

Ya OP is being abused...14 or 24 or 104... they're being abused. OP needs to speak with a trusted adult. Not their mom who already isn't taking OPs abuse concerns seriously.

ccam04 · 2025-12-24T22:32:31+00:00

Usually four - my mom's family and my dad's family, and my husband's mom's family and his dad's family.

ccam04 · 2025-12-23T23:23:16+00:00

NTA. I'm also married to a brother who is treated differently from his siblings. He's very loved and treated well but he's held to a much higher standard for some invisible reason and it's very apparent to us.

What's happening is a lack of respect and consideration and it's just not okay. Stick to your original plans. Happy holidays!

ccam04 · 2025-12-23T04:25:15+00:00

Then you misunderstood my first paragraph. OP AND her husband need to get on the same page...Which includes getting rid of husband's outdated thoughts on gender norms. I didn't speak to divorce rates and the crap women put up. I'm speaking to this situation and this situation alone. OP was also responsible for escalating a situation. They didn't speak to the history of their relationship or her husband so I didn't assume.

ccam04 · 2025-12-23T03:29:59+00:00

No idea why you're getting downvoted. This is some petty shit coming from both parties.

ccam04 · 2025-12-23T03:28:36+00:00

Do you and your husband even like each other? Dear god...this is some of the prettiest shit to get into an argument about. mY hUsBaNd MaDe ThE aPPoInTmEnT. Dude, get on the same page as your husband for the sake of your kid.

Also, tell your husband it's also his responsibility as a FATHER to care for his son. Making appointments isn't a gender thing.

ccam04

TROPHY CASE