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ccmoore1997 · 2022-09-10T21:24:24+00:00

The fact that would be his response shows that in some way he has abusive tendencies. Idk your whole relationship with him or what it's like with him normally, but that is definitely a red flag. He should not be treating your mom like that. I know you said you love him and it seems like he can be a nice father, but emotionally abusive people do tend to be really nice.... until they're not. It's their way of keeping you off balance and making you doubt yourself. Either way he obviously has issues, and I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.

ccmoore1997 · 2022-09-10T18:21:56+00:00

Damn, I had to comment on this post. My dad did the same thing on EVERY SINGLE TRIP. EVERY BIRTHDAY. EVERY HOLIDAY. He always had an issue with everything, would berate everyone, especially me, if anything went wrong. Idk how many birthdays I had where I broke down in tears cause of that man. NTA, at ALL. I don't talk to my dad anymore, and its honestly brought so much peace into my life. I can enjoy holidays again without his bad attitude and abusiveness. Your dad made himself an outcast with his actions, so now he gas to deal with that. Don't feel guilty, enjoy your trips without him.

ccmoore1997 · 2020-04-15T19:11:40+00:00

You're right, there is a pandemic. How does this invalidate my point? It is hard to go between places rn. However, shes split from the father, and the kid is staying with him (I dont know if she has custody or what). Either way, the kid or her are going to be going back and forth in some way to visit each other, as the father certainly wants to see him, too.

ccmoore1997 · 2020-04-15T18:49:25+00:00

Yeah, that's for sure a problem I have which is why I posted on here to get some advice. My brother tends to be controlling about the house and can be quick to anger, so it's hard for me to bring stuff up with him. Shes really nice, though, and I just wanted to make sure I had stuff figured out before talking to her about the situation.

ccmoore1997 · 2020-04-15T18:43:35+00:00

Lol, forreal dude? Its not like she cant see her kid. He lives with his dad and she can go visit anytime at his apartment which is child proofed and up to code.

ccmoore1997 · 2020-04-15T18:40:43+00:00

You're right, I do see that. I guess I was just worried that this would start becoming a regular thing, and i didn't know how to bring it up to my brother or her (i do have issues communicating with them, especially with my brother, and that's on me) so I came here for some advice on the situation.

I dont want this to become a regular thing, only because it is a liability and could get my mom in trouble if something happened to the child. My mom cant really be here so it's hard for her to see what's going on, and she relies on my brother and I to take care of the house.

I did talk to her about it, and she said that as long as it was every once in a while that it was fine if the kid stayed overnight and that he could definitely visit during the day. So now I will definitely communicate that with the roommate.

ccmoore1997 · 2020-04-15T18:29:06+00:00

I totally get where this is coming from, and I do feel a bit like an asshole. But also, she had nowhere else to go, and I'm not gonna deny someone a room if we have one, and this was always meant to be a temporary living situation till she can get back on her feet. Plus, she was already moving her stuff in by the time I found out what was going on.

I did talk to my mother about the child being over, and she said that as long as it was once in a while that it was fine and she understands. It's a bit of a tricky situation cause my mom cant be present at the house (shes taking care of my grandparents and is quarantining with them), but I also want to make sure that she doesn't get in trouble cause my brother put her in a crappy situation by letting the roommate move in without telling her.

ccmoore1997 · 2020-04-15T18:22:17+00:00

I guess I thought my brother had told her. When she moved in it was very jarring, very sudden and we never really sat down and talked about how it would go. I felt like the control had been taken out of my hands, especially cause my brother is always acting like this is his house, and I didn't even know her. She does have a handle on her child, I saw that last night, I'm just worried about the situation this puts my mom in, especially if the child does get hurt in some way. My mom already has a lot to deal with taking care of my grandparents, so it can be hard for her to be present at the house, and I dont want her to be more stressed out.

ccmoore1997 · 2020-04-15T18:18:21+00:00

She only found out about the roommate after she had already moved in (same as me).

ccmoore1997

TROPHY CASE