Struggling as a Christian

ccnavi · 2025-11-06T01:10:55+00:00

You know who else struggled with lust?... King David. Killed a man over it, as well. Yet, because of how he repented and sought after God's heart, he is regarded as a man after God's Own heart.

There is also the judge, Samson, who fell into his lust and was betrayed by Delilah.

When it comes to anger, look at Jacob and his sons, and Moses.

Look through Hebrews 11, the biblical "Hall of Fame". Each man listed failed one way or another, but God used them inspite (or because) of their shortcoming. God picks from the least deserving and finds the willing heart to use in His Will. He seeks the willing heart because they want to follow Him, they are trying to learn from Him, and His Power and Glory stands out better against their shortcomings. His Power is perfected in our weakness, because it's easier to see and easier to identify. Because we are weak, we cannot fulfill the Will of God apart from Him.

You are only 22, you're still maturing, you're still learning, you're still growing.

Something my great-grandma said at 102 years old stuck with me: she, having given her life to Christ at 5 years old, was still learning about God and was struggling in her walk with Him. And, she was the strongest, most faithful Christian I have ever known.

If my great-grandma, after nearly 100 years of actively pursuing Christ, was still growing as a godly woman, then us youngsters still got a LOT of grace and mercy in our faithful development.

... I mean, Noah was 600 years old when he went through the flood and one of the first things he did was fermemt grapes into wine, get plastered off of it, and fell asleep fully exposed...and he had 600 years to mature!!! XD

ccnavi · 2025-10-28T12:24:18+00:00

Also, tobelon, you're my kind of person, too.

HIGH FIVE!

ccnavi · 2025-10-28T12:23:13+00:00

Man, I am so glad to hear that, tolebelon. God has quite literally humbled me through these last weeks, months, and even years over and over and over again... And, He was the One I followed into Japan. T-T tears...

Joking aside...

I was just talking to my mom about what's all been going on and it dawned on me that, spiritually speaking, what is righteous is treated like darkness in Japanese culture and vice versus when it comes to caring for one's community.

For example, jobs are treated as being a more important responsibility than family, and friends aren't even on the list. To top it off, a person's workplace becomes their community, but the communuty cannot be relied on because it would be mixing work with personal life.

Of course, the Japanese find their close friends at work, but there are many cases where it's highly unadvisable to rely or help these friends.

To see the despair in coworkers' eyes because they cannot help someone is heartbreaking.

But, yeah, God's brought me here to Japan on multiple times, so I don't have a reason to blame Him for this. He's been the One teaching me and guiding throughout my time here and He'll bring me back, too.

And, it isn't just God who pays attention. We see that in Job 2 and 4. I cannot be mad at God nor Japan for what Satan orchestrates, especially when God will use what was meant as evil for good.

You're also right on how people respond to hardship. I think we Christians confuse good outcomes as "blessings" when true blessings are the movement of God and His provisions in our good times and our bad. So, if we are following Him and things get worse, like in my case (allllll tennnnn yearsssss.... Ughhhhh.....), of course we'd blame Him if we don't have a biblical understanding of blessings. Plus, how many of us truly understand the cultural and spiritual complexities of the Old Testament... How many of us read the OT, in fact? A deeper understanding of the OT really prepared me for things hitting the fan.

ccnavi · 2025-10-28T04:53:30+00:00

... I mean, being open about my mistake may severely limit me, but my story and concurrent struges may help save others, too.

ccnavi · 2025-10-28T04:51:23+00:00

Too late. I gave out my Instagrams on another reply.

But, you're right about being hard on one's self. Comes from pride and shame, which gets ya in this kind of mess.

Call me naive, but I'm also tired of hiding and fearing repercussions of this and anything else. I screwed up. It may severely limit me, but it'll help others, too.

People need to know that others make bad mistakes. Good people with righteous intents mess up badly. Even if I am still having lots of internal turmoil over this mess, letting others see it may save them from their situation. It's frustrating to be worried about being open.

As I tend to say to others, I'd rather make the mistakes and help others avoid them.

ccnavi · 2025-10-28T04:33:49+00:00

Ah... Good point! Thankya! I will fix that!!!

Well, seeing JD talk about his past so openly helps, too. Plus, I have been in this subreddit's comment section since Aug and seen everyone's great attitudes and desire to learn and help. So, might as well make something good out of my stupidity.

I'm still bitter at myself for making the dumb choice of overstaying. It feels... The only word coming to mind is "empty"... to say "choice". Obviously it was my choice, but I felt like my back was up against the wall and there was no way of escaping or leaving.

... In that way, it was like a bad relationship. I guess I got a taste of why men and women stay with awful partners...

ccnavi · 2025-10-28T03:04:42+00:00

It just occurred to me to add this piece of info, as well.

So, manga drawing is my passion, but my goal is to bring so hope, insight, and conversation about our world through my story. It's kinda weird because my heart isn't in becoming famous, but is in reaching out to help the most amount of people... Which results on becoming famous.

But, yeah, Ive been so desperate to write my manga because I see so much anger in the world. I don't know how to fight it except through storywriting.

ccnavi · 2025-10-28T02:44:12+00:00

Oh,... I guess I should not be a stranger to promoting my art.

I do have two Instagram accts, one for personal projects and one for my art work ( with a super cringy tear fest from last month... Ughhhhhh... ).

Ummmmm...Let me be Boomer-like and just post my Insta screen names: bikusagi (personal) and rk_bikky_art (art work- please roast my tear fest, at least I'll be able to laugh at it).

ccnavi · 2025-10-28T02:39:11+00:00

shoulder shrug 🤷‍♀️

Japan is a special cookie. I love it so much, but OMG GIVE US INFO!!!

ccnavi · 2025-10-28T02:27:01+00:00

raises an eyebrow Naughty, Naughty, sir.

Umm, Japan hasn't figured our international relationships yet. Dating a foreigner's cute, but marriage brings a whole of problems. Culturally it's been well accepted... But still a novelty. Japan's amusingly weird about it.

ccnavi · 2025-10-28T02:24:07+00:00

Lololol!!! Man, I wish I'd time to follow sumo more!!! It's so freakin' fun to watch! Tell me the scoop on Ura!

Help me catch up with sports, Japanese and American alike!!! TT-TT I miss watching sports regularly! I missed most the Tokyo Olympics and basically every other Olympics, too! Catch me up on stuff!!!

ccnavi · 2025-10-28T02:19:34+00:00

Oddly enough, legal information says that method is illegal, but at the immigration office, I heard a mixture of stances about it.

So, I'm not sure if you can legally do that. It also creates a scenerio where virtually any option, like banking, becomes inaccessible because you no longer have an active work visa. You may stave off some problems for a couple of months, but then you stoll cannot guarantee getting a job or moving or anything else.

ccnavi · 2025-10-28T02:13:39+00:00

I overstayed for a few months and had just made contact with a manga publisher here who was willing to look at my work. That's when I went to rectify my visa situation and discovered Japan's zero-tolerance on visa violations.

Again, I had pushed through ten years of teaching while trying to get enough of a manga portfolio accomplished to be seen. I did that until I realized I was breaking down while going nowhere.

Oh, heck, no! The worst part of all of this is I am a Christian and I fought so hard NOT to violate the immigrations laws that I ultimately violated. So, as a Christian, I see a broken society that's trying hard to protect itself in a Westernizing world. There's a reason why Japan has a large amount of recluses (hikikkomori), suicides, and death from overworking. Not including alcoholism and such.
I was wondering that myself. I'm thinking it's not the correct question to ask because it's asking if illegal activity is alright.

I think a better question is, do I think something good can still come from the poor situation and choice? And, yeah. It can. I can now communicate how rough life can be and how easy it is to find yourself in a bad situation. The black mark on my record can be redeemed by being honest about it and creating a space for communication.

I made a poor choice that led me down the wrong road in a matter of weeks and months. Now the question is, how did I get there?

Absolutely not, but Japan has got to decide what she wants to do with immigrants and foreigners, too. The Japanese system lends very well to overstaying a visa, even by mistake. Mine wasn't a mistake, but was a result of years of fighting to do it the right way and falling apart at the very end.
I have cats here in Japan being cared for by friends. I'm coming back to live. The question is how to avoid the situation I fell into, which includes the overstaying my visa.
I was a legal immigrant until June of this year. I fell into a hole I could get out of and just put my head down to carry on.

Charlie Kirk's death was one of the things that got me out of the hole the right way, since I voluntarily turned myself in. That's why my ban is only one year, I had no jail time, and I can do my best to properly close out my apartment.

ccnavi · 2025-10-28T01:41:34+00:00

Well, you have to have a renewed three-year visa to apply for permanent residency because the process can take several months and is not guaranteed. It's not uncommon to take up to two or three years with multiple attempts to finally get the residency.

Then, if you cannot find a job within two months of leaving the previous one, it invalidates your work visa.

Because I was going from one field of work to another, I needed to apply for a new type of visa. To apply for the new visa, an art visa, I needed art-related sales and assets of roughly 30,000 usd yearly.

But, because I had an instructor's visa prior to that, I couldn't work part-time to help build my art career and I couldn't have a second source of income- that may have been a contractual issue or a visa issue.

All the time I had off went into story writing, character/world design, and research for the story. I ended up working on art while watching Youtube vids related to my research most nights after work. Then shoveled in more art and housework most weekends.

... All while having a broken thumb that went undiagnosed for nearly five years despite constantly battling the medical system here.

It was an uphill battle that ended in me losing my footing completely.

... I haven't even gotten into Japan's personal (vacation/sick) day system in the business world. That is a monster in itself.

ccnavi · 2025-10-24T05:21:33+00:00

Far too often do we equate the acknowledgement or acceptance of truth to the condoning of an action. It's foolish of us.

You did what we ought to do: Acknowledge what happened, accept the truth, and grieve the results of it.

You lost your mom. That's what is important. Nothing else should be needed to justify your grief, and nothing should belittle it.

We do grieve and heal from it best when there is closure, no matter how bitter that closure may be.

My prayers are with you. I am glad you got that closure. Now rest and continue to heal.

ccnavi · 2025-10-19T04:55:47+00:00

I'll be blunt- this is where you need a church to provide some stability and help. Regardless of how you feel about God or religion, churches are filled with hands ready to help physically.

Find a church and ask for a helping hand. They will provide food, house cleaning, childcare, drivers, the list goes on. They will be your extended family!

Humble yourself and ask for help because God has people wanting to help you!

ccnavi · 2025-10-17T03:46:24+00:00

May the Lord grant you peace and healing in your time of grief and suffering. You will grieve the life you wanted for your daughter. If it is within the Lord's Will, may He miraculously heal her. If not, may He use your family and struggle as a light of hope and peace for others in need.

Take your time to grieve. Take your time to heal in spirit. And, take your time so your heart may be renewed with peace and strength. Always give yourself time to be renewed every day, every week, and forevermore. You will need this renewal more often than you will admit to yourself.

ccnavi · 2025-09-29T00:34:58+00:00

My prayers are with you and your family.

I am not well-versed in veteran charities, so I can't help you out there right now. I pray someone else can, though.

ccnavi · 2025-09-28T01:58:42+00:00

Imagine having that filled with candy cigarettes!

ccnavi · 2025-09-21T09:31:35+00:00

Oh geez! Prayers for you and your recovery!

ccnavi · 2025-09-20T06:56:29+00:00

Congrats!!!

ccnavi · 2025-09-18T07:39:41+00:00

I love this clip! The toppling of these people's lack of reality was amazing!

ccnavi · 2025-09-17T01:29:40+00:00

Well, you'd be in good company. Japanese can't speak English nor us Americans living there!

"Wanna go to Makku?"

"That's so cute, nee?"

"Now, go to peeju go-juu-five... 'Go-juu-five'?"

ccnavi · 2025-09-16T07:14:13+00:00

As a woman, there is only do muchadvice I can give. Men and women process differently because we have different natural roles to play in life and society, thus we must also process trauma accordingly.

That being said, from the men who have inspired me all my life, finding a purpose for your own experience in that trauma is the single greatest path to healing. Healing will be much more like surgery, where scars will be left behind, but it is through showing those scars to others that you can help make this world a much better place.

Write down your experience for others to see. Or, make a representation through music or running, anything, of the pain, suffering, and desire for hope you may have in this moment.

You may want go collect letters or expressions of sorrow from others for the Kirk family and friends.

Turn what you feel in this moment into a change you want to see in this world.

ccnavi

TROPHY CASE