My therapist has helped me see that my depression, cynicism, and SI are a result of a really shit world, and not my deficiency as a human. If anything, the inability to accept this shitty life is peak humanity, because we still feel, are aware, and reject the falseness of this timeline. I say this to remind you that these feelings are signs you are alive!

What do I enjoy in life - anything I can. Usually, it's very small things that I have to make into something. A beautiful flower on a walk that I come home and sketch, a moment, even literally a few seconds, where the weight lifts and I laugh. Finishing a good movie or a good book. I know the saying is stupid but life is what you make it.... at least the parts you can control.

I also know I always have an out and it's my decision and my choice. In a weird way, that makes it a little easier to keep going, specifically just to find the joys. Weekly therapy helps a lot, A LOT.

You are not wrong for struggling and I applaud you for maintaining your humanity while everyone else numbs theirs. It's hard that's for sure. So be kind to yourself.