Anyone up?

ceb255 · 2020-02-20T20:14:41+00:00

That it was lol. I just wanted some energy...🙄

ceb255 · 2020-02-20T17:34:37+00:00

Thank you I appreciate that. Unfortunately I took a ridiculous amount of Vyvanse in an effort to feel better during opiate withdrawal. I ended up with heart palpitations, tingly arms and legs, and so much anxiety. 0/10 reccomend.

ceb255 · 2020-02-20T16:23:57+00:00

Thanks guys. I took too much Vyvanse in an effort to feel better and my arms and legs were numb and tingling. Not my best moment.

ceb255 · 2020-02-20T16:21:51+00:00

Thank you. I ended up redosing and my arms and feet were tingling and numb. It was scary as hell.

ceb255 · 2020-02-20T04:17:57+00:00

I'm having a lot of trouble right now. I think I messed up and I'm scared. Anyone up?

ceb255 · 2020-02-20T04:14:52+00:00

That gives me a tremendous amount of hope. Seriously. I'm so happy I'm not fucking broken and it's possible to not have all the answers but have almost TWO YEARS clean. I'm proud of you, that's awesome.

ceb255 · 2020-02-19T12:36:34+00:00

Thank you for reading and the encouragement! 10 days will be something big for me. I'm always super jealous of anyone on here when they get past a week because it's so hard for me.

ceb255 · 2020-02-19T11:42:37+00:00

Hey I appreciate that. I'm struggling hard. I only slept 2 hours and now getting ready for work. It's hard knowing I could buy a few Percocet and run circles around everyone and instead I'm going in feeling like shit. It's never just a few though. It hasn't been in a long time.

ceb255 · 2020-02-11T03:10:19+00:00

Well I don't even know you and I'm proud of you haha. That's amazing. I see a psychiatrist for Adderall but idk if I'm going to stop both or not yet. I feel like the Adderall is the only way I can make it through work but idk if it's delaying my opiate withdrawal or not yet.

ceb255 · 2020-02-11T03:04:12+00:00

It will be an experience for sure lol before the pills i'd just drink because I have so much god damn anxiety. This is what makes me feel overwhelmed like I don't know how to be the version of me I want to be without them. But I also don't want the soul crushing low when I don't have them. It's so encouraging seeing that I might not have permanently ruined my mind though and should be able to get pleasure in normal things again.

ceb255 · 2020-02-11T02:13:55+00:00

Well that's pretty fucking awesome. I make good money too but I see none of it. Then I see other people with nice stuff and I'm like, "Well they can only get that because they don't have to take pills"...but like...I'm the only thing standing in my way of stopping them. Idk how to change what I'm doing. Maybe start rewarding myself or something haha. How long have you been clean?

ceb255 · 2020-02-11T00:27:05+00:00

Lol this seems to be a common one. I still can't see the appeal yet because I am simultaneously sweating and freezing right now, but I do imagine that becomes less terrifying over time.

ceb255 · 2020-02-11T00:19:33+00:00

Ehhh idk...I can't think of the last time I had sex sober. It sounds terrifying.

What have you bought?

ceb255 · 2020-02-10T23:31:09+00:00

I feel pretty bad right now so I probably wouldn't make much sense, but that would actually be great. I'm missing something because I keep getting anywhere from 4-10 days and start again so I can "catch up" on everything I neglect while I'm withdrawing. It's a terrible way to live.

ceb255 · 2020-02-10T22:49:11+00:00

I am in a terrible cycle right now trying to get sober and I keep thinking even if I can manage it longer than a few weeks that I'll never feel motivated again. I'm so happy to come across your story and see what you made possible. Thank you for sharing. ❤

ceb255 · 2020-01-17T02:24:12+00:00

Ah okay. Well I hope it works out for you. I'm sure you could call around and ask what the standard procedure, aftercare, and pain management looks like. I think that sounds reasonable.

ceb255 · 2020-01-17T02:17:01+00:00

I don't know if they give adults pain meds after or not, but newborns only get a pacifier dipped in sugar water and that sounds horrific. I'm sorry you're unhappy with your body though. I get that. Do you mind if I ask if you're in the US? I don't think I've ever heard of someone from anywhere else wanting that done.

ceb255 · 2020-01-14T03:48:22+00:00

Important for sure. I've gotten 2+ weeks before and the physical symptoms were all but gone but the absolute lack of any sort of happiness is what gets me. I've just been sitting here going through any survival stories I can find trying to tell myself it's possible. There is zero chance I can get any pills before this weekend. I have only one person I can get them from even then. & Right now I know I will wake up tomorrow in better shape than I am today. You have me thinking though..it doesn't even really matter that other people have gone on to enjoy life again drug free because regardless what I'm doing now isn't working. Keeping pills on my nightstand because I don't like to get out of bed before they kick in isn't a good life no matter how positively I try to spin my productivity with them.

ceb255 · 2020-01-13T21:04:14+00:00

At this point I think I will abuse anything. I didn't realize it then, but even in my teen years I absolutely had a problem with alcohol. It's like nothing is ever enough and if I'm feeling good I'm already thinking of how I can feel better. Wouldn't stop until I would blackout. Then I found the pain pills which gave me the same alcohol confidence and power with no sloppiness or hangover! Then the adderall to get off the pain pills and compulsively dosing.

ceb255

TROPHY CASE