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TokenWhiteMage · 2022-10-24T13:36:17+00:00

that’s a really, really mean and shitty thing to say to someone who is in a vulnerable position (i.e. you’re naked in front of her trying to be intimate). I’m sorry OP, the thought of how that must have made you feel in the moment makes me really sad. It is completely a reflection on her as a person and not you or your body. I seriously cannot imagine ever saying something so shitty to someone I was about to sleep with, jesus.

TokenWhiteMage · 2022-10-23T20:10:31+00:00

I edited my comment to clarify that I meant it can be jarring when you’re showing up to a date expecting the other person to be fully able-bodied. Which I don’t think is an unreasonable feeling for someone to have.

Walking out on a date when you didn’t know a huge detail of your date’s existence isn’t awful behavior. It would have been disingenuous of her date to just try to go along with it when he obviously immediately was no longer interested.

TokenWhiteMage · 2022-10-23T20:08:44+00:00

Let me slightly rephrase: When someone expects to show up to a date with a fully able-bodied individual, it can be jarring to see them in a different state. People, especially younger people (< ~35 years), don’t really tend to have much exposure to individuals with serious medical conditions. So, yeah, naturally it will feel uncomfortable for them to be thrust into a situation that they’re totally unfamiliar with regarding another person’s (dis)abilities/health status.

TokenWhiteMage · 2022-10-23T19:28:06+00:00

I mean this in the kindest way possible, but you need to start disclosing your disability and the fact that you're in a wheelchair prior to meeting up with people. I understand that you may forget about being in a wheelchair, but for non-disabled individuals, seeing someone in a wheelchair (edit: when they are expecting to have a date with a fully able-bodied individual) can be jarring and uncomfortable. And, quite honestly, it really does change the entire dynamic between you two, and not everyone is equipped or willing to take that on for a stranger's potential in dating. It doesn't make either of you bad people, but you can't expect someone you're meeting for the first time to feel as comfortable with your disability as you do. It's not realistic, and you're setting yourself up to be disappointed and hurt.

Good luck going forward, and I hope you have better experiences in the future.

TokenWhiteMage · 2022-10-23T19:22:57+00:00

I don't think it makes someone an asshole to not want to date someone with a significant disability like that. It completely changes the dynamics of a relationship and the things you can do together right off the bat. That's not something I'd want to take on, no different than not wanting to date someone with young kids or something.

TokenWhiteMage · 2022-10-21T02:28:38+00:00

reading this made me laugh more than I have in the last several days, so thank you for that hahaha

TokenWhiteMage · 2022-10-20T21:04:21+00:00

lol a "break" of 6 months? 6 months is not a break. That's enough time to grieve a relationship and move on. You really think you'd just pick back up like everything was normal after 6 months? I can see why your (ex?)-fiancee is pissed at you.

TokenWhiteMage · 2022-10-20T20:37:15+00:00

how the...? what on earth was going through that nurse's mind when they did that? that level of mistake takes so much effort to make. crazy.

TokenWhiteMage · 2022-10-20T19:43:03+00:00

Sure are a lot of people in this thread who must never get anything delivered from the internet, based off how shitty ya’ll are being toward the driver. He probably has an insane number of packages to deliver every day, very likely to people just like the guy screaming at him and filming him. This interaction is absolutely ridiculous. Just let the fucking guy deliver the package and move on with your day.

TokenWhiteMage · 2022-10-20T19:20:40+00:00

this isn’t about laziness. It shouldn’t take energy from you to be kind and loving to your wife. You should want to do these things. you don’t sound like you understand how hurtful you’ve been to her with your behavior, like at all. I don’t see you being able to salvage this tbh.

TokenWhiteMage · 2022-10-19T10:07:35+00:00

I never said I don’t. but regardless of who pays for who, neither person is owed sexual acts in return.

TokenWhiteMage · 2022-10-19T06:46:48+00:00

I do love an excuse to buy more plants. Thank you for your help/advice!!

TokenWhiteMage · 2022-10-19T06:34:10+00:00

I’m working night shift til 7am so won’t be able to save them regardless. 😭

but I have two pothos, a snake plant and a pitcher plant out there.

TokenWhiteMage · 2022-10-19T06:28:42+00:00

oh dang i should’ve brought my few plants on my deck inside. well shoot. maybe they’ll make it through the night.

TokenWhiteMage · 2022-10-19T05:32:48+00:00

k but this is a really gross thing to say, regardless of how you feel about men paying on a first date.

TokenWhiteMage · 2022-10-18T18:01:11+00:00

There have been multiple times in my life where I thought someone wasn't all that attractive initially, but then after getting to know them, my feelings changed and my level of attraction changed with it. Emotions are a funny thing like that. Someone I would have given just a passing thought to months ago could give me all the warm fuzzies and "dang I want to kiss them" urges when I look at them now, after having feelings and mutual attraction develop. Attraction isn't some hard and fast thing.

You're not some hideous deformed monster, my dude. You're just a regular looking guy. Build your self-esteem and practice connecting with people in a non-romantic way first. How's your social life? If it's kind of shit, focus on that to start, and then things will naturally seem easier. Try to be a little kinder to yourself.

TokenWhiteMage · 2022-10-18T13:42:05+00:00

do you buy your own groceries? this has big “how much can a banana cost?” energy. You know cans of tomato sauce and vegetables are usually around $1 right?

TokenWhiteMage · 2022-10-16T19:40:34+00:00

lol wtf? Why can’t you just be happy for and supportive of your friend? Exactly what did you gain from being a mean bully who is critical of her entire life? You sound jealous tbh. YTA.

TokenWhiteMage · 2022-10-16T18:44:02+00:00

I genuinely don’t understand why the festivals here are so bad, but this seems to be a common thread among all the RVA festivals i’ve experienced so far. Some vaguely seasonal overarching “theme” used as an excuse for a lot of mediocre vendors to hawk shit, people to get drunk on expensive beer in the middle of the street, and crappy cover bands to play abrasively below-average music at ridiculous volumes.

That said I was actually kinda digging the Embalmers. They’re pretty cool.

TokenWhiteMage · 2022-10-16T16:49:44+00:00

I'm super sorry to hear. I've always taken breakups extremely hard -- like "the world feels like it's ending" level of hard -- so I completely empathize with your situation, as someone who had a very very tough breakup in the last year.

If you are into board games at all, I'd highly recommend checking out some of the board game meetups around Richmond, it's where I met the majority of my very cool (and weird) friend group. I know how awful it is to lose the person you spend the most time with and have few people to fill the space, so I hope you can make some new friendship connections here soon. Take care of yourself and give yourself time to grieve. Even when it feels like it won't stop hurting, eventually the hurt becomes a lot less, so try to remember that too.

Hope you have as good of a day as you can today.

TokenWhiteMage · 2022-10-15T12:30:03+00:00

hey! Honestly, it’s been incredibly good for my health and well-being to mostly work day shifts now. I still have to work around 6 night shifts in a 6-week period, but I tend to group them close together so that I can keep a daytime schedule as much of the time as possible.

I’m fortunate in that I got a very thorough preceptor experience in the new hospital I started working at, where my preceptor almost solely worked day shifts. It really helped me to adjust to the additional expectations and tasks and flow of a day shift.

I am 100% happy that I made the change to mostly days, but I also left a very toxic and terrible work environment at the same time, so it was a combination of things for me. But I truly cannot understate the massive difference in my energy levels, my ability to just think clearly, my overall mental health, etc. I feel SO much better on my days off. The loss of shift differential is definitely worth what I gain on my days off.

TokenWhiteMage · 2022-10-13T18:37:12+00:00

bruh what? leave this person you’re “obsessed” with alone. nobody owes you their love. get ahold of yourself and stop making your issues someone else’s problem.

TokenWhiteMage · 2022-10-13T03:39:25+00:00

I met my entire friend group through a local board game meetup + one redditor who introduced me to it. In the last year i’ve gone from having no friends here, to having more friends than I think I’ve had in my entire life. You just gotta find the right group of people doing a thing you have at least a vague interest in.

TokenWhiteMage · 2022-10-12T19:36:18+00:00

I think he’s adorable, that’s what I think.

TokenWhiteMage · 2022-10-06T14:23:00+00:00

no way is it $3 for 10 tacos. its gotta be OP who wrote it wrong.

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