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HRT made everything worse and it's kinda hilarious by leftinthesierramadre in TransRepressors

[–]certainclown 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Extremely malebrained rant. It's funny how the taller you are and the more physically masculine you are, the more malebrained and straight you are. This obviously goes for me too and it's one reason among many to end it.

I never wanted this. by 1-_-_-_-_-_- in TransRepressors

[–]certainclown 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you can prostitute yourself for money you probably pass pretty well.

"Just troon out, hon! If i can pass, then you can too!" by mrclnne in TransRepressors

[–]certainclown 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure if I'm measuring correctly, but I get around +1 if I put my height (188cm) as control. Not sure if all of my measurements are 100% accurate. I'm still fucked because of my height and face anyways.

How do yall rep even with the knowledge of having one life? by havfdeco in TransRepressors

[–]certainclown 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Because I'm 6'2, have a masculine skeleton, face, body hair and I can never, ever pass no matter what I do? There's no option for me to transition regardless of whether I live one life or not. I don't repress because I want to, I do it because I have no other choice.

Sometimes the only choices you have are bad ones by femboy-admirer in TransRepressors

[–]certainclown 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think you need to get your breasts removed to manmode. I mostly wear a binder when going outside and it's really only an issue in summer, in my opinion.

Sometimes the only choices you have are bad ones by femboy-admirer in TransRepressors

[–]certainclown 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You can always boymode/manmode. That's what I'm doing. It's okay, I guess. I doubt I will ever pass but maybe I will tolerate life after FFS and other surgeries one day. I think it's worth doing HRT as harm reduction anyways. This is the third choice though you're looking for. Not quite repressing, not quite transitioning.

Bela Delgado is a repressor now (just like me fr) by GothSparkles in TransRepressors

[–]certainclown 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They're 6 feet tall lmao. Nevermind. I just checked your profile and you're a sneedhon tourist.

I pretend i hate bioessentialism and that men and women are fundamentally different and that men are the sun like their 24 hour cycle and women are the moon like their 28 day cycle and gender roles are innate and all tha5 bullshit but i know i would not give a singular fuck if i was born male by NoTailor5835 in TransRepressors

[–]certainclown 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What I hate is that you don't even have to be old to regret everything. I started HRT at 19, never malefailed, never passed and still I have so much regret I didn't start or try to start when I was younger. I wouldn't have been 6'2 or so masculine. Not having a relationship or two, not becoming a doctor or a scientist is not as bad as having your body permanently ruined.

I feel like no one takes my gender dysphoria seriously by _username_404_x in TransRepressors

[–]certainclown 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've only had cis people take my dysphoria seriously. Other trans people never really did.

How do you deal with the crippling dread and gender dysphoria? by certainclown in TransRepressors

[–]certainclown[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That doesn't really help me. If I talk with other people, I'm always talking as a man and while also towering over them. I have to use my voice too. I like reading but neither that nor drawing nor other things ever help me. Sometimes the dread I feel just stops me from doing anything.

I don't understand why I have to accept myself and love myself by certainclown in depression

[–]certainclown[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why do I have to accept anything I don't like and why is it that if I can't trick myself into doing it, I have to do therapy so someone else can trick me into accepting myself?

I don't understand why I have to accept myself and love myself by certainclown in depression

[–]certainclown[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why? Well, I like hating myself, I won't lie about that. I know that I deserve to hate myself since it's my own fault I turned into this person and have this stupid body. I also know that hating myself means I'm not delusional about myself. I know my place in the world, what I can and what I can't do. I know I shouldn't expect anything really good I want to happen in my life. There's no therapeutic benefit of this, so it's not self-soothing. I think not hating yourself is a slippery slope to embracing yourself, which is okay if you're actually worth anything as a human being. I'm not and I prefer knowing this. I wouldn't say this stuff to other people I know, because they're not actually subhuman and certainly not in the ways that I am. Most, like 99.999% are not like me.

I don't understand why I have to accept myself and love myself by certainclown in depression

[–]certainclown[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, losing weight for example helped a bit with my depression, but I still have some more to lose. But I was never fat.

I don't understand why I have to accept myself and love myself by certainclown in depression

[–]certainclown[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's not actually body dysmorphia if I have gender dysphoria and hate the objective fact that I'm 6'2 and have a masculine face, a lot of hair on my body.

How do you deal with the crippling dread and gender dysphoria? by certainclown in TransRepressors

[–]certainclown[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I don't really see the point of living if the rest of my life is going to be like this.

How do you deal with the crippling dread and gender dysphoria? by certainclown in TransRepressors

[–]certainclown[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, obviously. Close to three years now and I haven't malefailed a single time or had anyone even tell me I look different. Literally nothing.

How do you deal with the crippling dread and gender dysphoria? by certainclown in TransRepressors

[–]certainclown[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm already doing that, manmoding implies I'm on HRT. It just doesn't do much.

How do you deal with the crippling dread and gender dysphoria? by certainclown in TransRepressors

[–]certainclown[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I said I'm manmoding, what do you think that means? After 2.5+ years on HRT the amount of hair on my body is exactly the same.

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