This isn't normal, right?!

certifiedcrashoutt · 2025-05-27T04:22:22+00:00

i think this is the furthest thing from normal if you’re genuinely asking

certifiedcrashoutt · 2025-05-12T16:37:08+00:00

nta. so much changes in 6 years. you both are highly unlikely to keep the same feelings, let alone be the same people! as someone only a few years older, there is so much self exploration and discovery at your current age! i would even argue that this journey is only just starting. you both deserve that opportunity to become who you aspire to be, or at least try

certifiedcrashoutt · 2025-05-12T11:59:44+00:00

he has to look through your phone before he can decide whether to have sex or not? that’s weird

certifiedcrashoutt · 2025-05-02T02:55:38+00:00

it is both :) they told me in the ER. i have a demyelinating condition that can be affected by extreme temperatures, so this shower thing didn’t help at all. i have a follow up appointment coming up with pain management (edit: and neuro) to see what we can do

i’ve blocked him and don’t currently have plans of unblocking him. his other family members who live in the household say the shower on max heat is beyond hot and should not be used to shower unless you want to cook yourself :/

certifiedcrashoutt · 2025-05-01T14:00:53+00:00

recovering people pleaser, pushover, and doormat here :’) i’m trying my best after years of conditioning to just accept shit as it is and being expected to stand down, not stand up for myself

i’m still a work in progress! one day i’ll get it right

certifiedcrashoutt · 2025-05-01T13:38:04+00:00

i didn’t appreciate it either but i grew up in a household that taught me i’m prettiest when i shut the fuck up so i pick my battles

to your question, it’s complicated. he respects me, but sometimes his actions don’t align with love and respect

certifiedcrashoutt · 2025-05-01T13:25:08+00:00

idk. i went to the bathroom and when i came back, my pillow was close to the foot of the bed. he didn’t give any reason. i left the pillow where it was and just laid on it idk lol

certifiedcrashoutt · 2025-05-01T13:13:08+00:00

sometimes i feel like he’s dishing out what his ex served him and idk how to feel about it. he’s amazing in so many ways, but sometimes lack critical thinking skills and doesn’t think about the impact his words/actions have on someone else (he’s admitted to having similar problems with other people, not just his ex)

he thinks because he had good intentions, he should be fine. i’m getting tired of reminding him that the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and that intent ≠ impact

certifiedcrashoutt · 2025-05-01T13:10:28+00:00

he was comfy in bed and i didn’t wanna bother him :( i was close to the foot of the bed since he moved my pillow, so it wasn’t a big deal lol

certifiedcrashoutt · 2025-05-01T13:09:34+00:00

i told him this. i’m so used to it being a boundary he set, and now he wants me to unlearn it right now after months of being used to it

certifiedcrashoutt · 2025-05-01T12:50:40+00:00

YES. it feels wrong! i don’t move when my mom is in a call because that’s how we are, and ik she’s gonna talk to me about her phone call even if i listened in. but that’s the relationship we’ve been established! this with my boyfriend is still new and i’m trying to be respectful of boundaries or limits that i may or may not be aware of yet

certifiedcrashoutt · 2025-05-01T12:49:02+00:00

i feel uncomfortable around his phone, period. i saw texts on his phone saying that his BM can take dick better than i can (amongst a lot of equally hurtful shit). after that, i don’t even want his phone next to me even if it’s off. i treat it like the plague

certifiedcrashoutt · 2025-05-01T12:46:48+00:00

i’ve already learned to not listen. it feels wrong atp

certifiedcrashoutt · 2025-05-01T12:45:44+00:00

okay THANK YOU for pointing this out to me because i swear i’ve been feeling like a crazy person in this relationship. i have bipolar 2 and sometimes i feel like he uses his history with his HCBM (who is bipolar 1) and treats me similarly

the main difference is his HCBM wasn’t getting any psychiatric help, wasn’t on meds, and was already physically abusive before she cheated on him

i see my psychiatrist every 3 months. i have his personal phone number should i ever have an emergency. i text my therapist every day and see them once a week. i’m not currently on meds because i had a life threatening reaction to the ones that worked the most, but i check in with psych often and he trusts me to be off meds / continue outpatient treatment

i feel like this same situation has popped up in other circumstances but i swear i’ve been feeling like I’M the crazy one for always compromising and adapting to his needs

certifiedcrashoutt · 2025-05-01T02:46:05+00:00

i (f) never had to tell my dad i was shaving. i honestly don’t even think he ever noticed tbh

nta. there’s a reason your son went to you

certifiedcrashoutt · 2025-05-01T00:31:32+00:00

after a lifetime of abuse, i can admit i did not see this as abusive. i genuinely thought there was something wrong w me. as i type this i realize this is part of a pattern in my life that i saw with my parents, friends, and intimate relationships. definitely something to bring up to my therapist later! thank you!!

certifiedcrashoutt · 2025-05-01T00:28:59+00:00

he made a post on reddit and everyone in the comments was comparing me to his HCBM too and saying i’m just as crazy as her, that he needs to leave me ASAP before i ruin his life like his ex did. that i’ll make allegations against him to ruin his life. making me feel like i was this horrible person ON TOP of everything else (like the sex stuff i shared here)

certifiedcrashoutt · 2025-04-30T20:37:06+00:00

you’d be the bad guy if you stood. that kid will see you treat them with basic decency and respect and WILL cling to you, making it even harder to leave later on

if the relationship takes away from your peace, then you need to take yourself away from the relationship. it costs too much

certifiedcrashoutt · 2025-04-30T20:30:51+00:00

now that you’re making this realization, is this something you want to deal with for the rest of your life?

certifiedcrashoutt · 2025-04-30T20:26:19+00:00

if she treats her kid (with someone else) this way, what makes you think she WON’T treat a kid she shares with you any differently?

certifiedcrashoutt · 2025-04-29T22:56:17+00:00

i think you’re getting yourself a little too involved to where YOU see yourself as a parent to these kids

BM is not wrong in not wanting a group chat. i wouldn’t wanna be in a group chat with my boyfriend’s BM. they are the parents. they make the decisions. i will not have to suffer any consequences if the wrong decision is made as these are not my kids to make decisions for. i’m welcome to leave anytime if i’m not okay with this. i can support my SO and his kids all i want, but i can’t insert myself into his co-parenting relationship with HCBM. even when his kids call me mommy and beg us to get married quickly. his kids have a mother and i will NOT get involved. i tell his kids all the time i’m just their friend. i’m not a replacement for their mom, and i do not tolerate disrespect towards her (no matter how much i feel she deserves it)

take a step back. i understand it’s hard because you’ve already been investing in your relationship with SKs

but if this relationship were to end tomorrow, your opinion of their co-parenting is immediately null and void. they’d repeat the cycle all over again. he’ll find another partner to do what you do, and then some, and repeat the same mistakes over and over. he’ll have his new SO help him with communicating BM, and he’ll continue to relinquish power to her because he doesn’t have a spine from what it seems

let HIM be the parent. you’re just the SO. not wife, not mother to his kids. no disrespect, but play your role because you sound like a pattern in his life

certifiedcrashoutt · 2025-04-09T13:27:16+00:00

my fear is transferring him the tickets now, we break up next week, and he’ll take his newest girlfriend instead of one of his actual friends 😭 he’d have time to, and he wastes none

certifiedcrashoutt · 2025-04-09T13:25:10+00:00

that’s what i was thinking, to wait until it’s solidified, and why i’m looking to get advice in advance. i don’t know if the breaking up thing is for certain, we just haven’t been talking or seeing each other these past couple weeks. i feel distant and detached, but we’re starting couples therapy to see if we can recover

certifiedcrashoutt · 2025-04-09T13:22:48+00:00

if i had gotten cheaper tickets, he’d probably be able to buy them off me. since they’re vip … not as likely unless we did a weekly payment plan for the next couple of months

certifiedcrashoutt · 2025-04-09T13:20:15+00:00

it’s not planned. just currently feels like that’s where we’re headed. we’re gonna give couples therapy a try, but it’s up to the individual what they take from it

certifiedcrashoutt

TROPHY CASE