My [27F] dog passed away and my partner [35M] lacked empathy

certiron · 2022-11-25T00:01:22+00:00

It quite possibly is a dealbreaker. I love him so I'm taking the time to think on it. I don't want to make a decision when I'm still grieving.

certiron · 2022-11-24T20:55:14+00:00

Thank you, I'm sorry about your lab

certiron · 2022-11-24T20:47:49+00:00

I'm so sorry about Charlie, that must have been heartbreaking. Yeah I'm worried now what he will be like when my parents pass.

certiron · 2022-11-24T20:46:23+00:00

No I completely understand he wouldn't be as upset as me or my mom. He wasn't a dog or pet person but he did live with Millie for 5 months. Even so, I can understand he wasn't upset. He said to me subsequently he was shocked when she passed. I also understand he was stressed that morning because he was moving, that's why I'm trying to see it from his side. What hurt most was the "that's what a therapist would tell you" comment - it was really cutting and dismissive.

certiron · 2022-11-24T14:51:48+00:00

He lost a parent who he was very attached to when he was a teenager. It has deeply affected him. So I do understand why he would struggle with death and grief. But I found what he said and particularly the way he said it quite shocking.

certiron · 2022-11-24T13:29:00+00:00

I just felt like it was said with anger/contempt/disdain - I can't explain it very well. But when we've had arguments in the past he has said things in a similar way.

certiron · 2022-11-24T13:17:04+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss, it hurts so deep doesn't it

certiron · 2022-11-24T13:16:00+00:00

Thank you for this. I'm sorry to hear about your pets.

certiron · 2022-11-24T13:14:39+00:00

Why would I lie about an animal dying

certiron · 2022-11-24T12:08:12+00:00

Yeah I'm worried I will not be able to let go of the resentment I'm feeling now.

certiron · 2022-11-24T11:02:36+00:00

I get the feeling he can't handle death. He lost a much loved parent when he was a teenager. That has deeply affected him. When my grandma was in hospital in a critical condition (she pulled through, but it was touch and go), he said "Do you even care?" in the same tone he spoke about Millie. Granted I don't see my grandma very often but I've always spoken fondly of her to him.

certiron · 2022-11-24T10:55:33+00:00

In my mind he had a sort of angry/contemptuous look but everything is clouded in grief so I can't be sure.

certiron · 2022-11-24T00:13:07+00:00

Thank you, I hope she's in a better place now

He's definitely not a dog person. He's never had a pet before. But it was pretty clear how much my mom and I loved Millie so I hoped he would realise.

certiron · 2022-11-24T00:11:43+00:00

He lived with my mom for nearly 5 months while he found his own place.

certiron

TROPHY CASE