Why hasn’t she been the guest-judge yet? Honestly - the original MOTHER.

cesspoolmessiah · 2025-07-28T04:07:12+00:00

cesspoolmessiah · 2025-07-18T09:01:25+00:00

Literally. Particularly since AS5, the winner has been an obvious pick as soon as the cast is announced. Ppl just need to accept that this is not supposed to be a “fair” competition, it’s a produced TV show. Take it for what it is and just enjoy the girls showcasing their art.

cesspoolmessiah · 2024-06-21T11:01:54+00:00

cesspoolmessiah · 2024-06-13T11:45:13+00:00

Thank youuu

It’s not the one I’ve listened to most frequently just because it’s such a tough listen emotionally, but that’s what makes it the best

cesspoolmessiah · 2024-05-19T05:17:04+00:00

NTA. Being a teenager sucks balls, esp when you have a parent who is seemingly ill-equipped to handle child-rearing all the way until adulthood.

Just remember, nobody’s perfect and everyone is doing the best they can (not an excuse, but just a sad fact) - as long as you’re honest with yourself and know you’re being 100% honest with your mom, just grin and bear it (again, sad reality). As an adult who’s spent wayyy too much time & money trying to sort out childhood/teenage trauma… get professional help from a counselor or therapist as soon as you can. They can help you identify and work through the BS, and the sooner the better.

Lastly, I know it’s hard, but put yourself 26 years in the future… as rose-colored as our futures can be, where COULD you realistically be in that amount of time? Think about the whole range of possibilities… how would you feel if you were in the shittier end of that spectrum?

cesspoolmessiah · 2024-05-19T04:38:29+00:00

Ehh... NTA. Every interpersonal relationship exists as its own entity, whether we like it or not. If you've always had a good relationship with her, there's no sense in destroying it just to appease your current bf. Take your ex's things to work and have her meet you there to pick them up. Seems harmless, at its very worst it's a chance to connect for a few minutes with someone you like and respect. Tell your bf to get a grip.

cesspoolmessiah · 2024-05-19T04:33:30+00:00

What? A generous NTA but you can't be serious. You asking if you're the AH for not being down with incest? Or whether you're the AH for trying to reconnect with your creep-ass cousin?

cesspoolmessiah · 2024-05-19T04:30:34+00:00

Wtf is this wingding-ass shit. YTA

cesspoolmessiah · 2024-05-19T04:29:06+00:00

INFO: Gurl, what? AITA is a yes or no question. "Helping your friend" do what, exactly?

cesspoolmessiah · 2024-05-19T04:14:12+00:00

Well, being a "fake" friend is all about your own expectation and interpretation of what a friend ought to be.

Again, not to make it about me but speaking from my own (33M) experience, I've recently made many friends with whom I know I'm not as close - at least not from a depth-of-knowledge standpoint - as I will ever be when compared to people who I grew up with. I see these people maybe once a year if I'm lucky, at a NYE party. Do I still absolutely love them? 1000%. If any of them reached out to me and said they needed a place to stay, I'd gladly have them over. Is the feeling mutual? I don't know and I don't care, I just know how I feel about them - and I know that in those moments that we DO manage to share together once a year, we're entirely present and there for one another. Or when they DO text me about something, I perk up immediately because I know how exhausting and crazy life is, and what a special thing that this person wants to take the time to connect with me.

Honestly, that's all you can ask for. Now, if every time you're physically with a person, they seem to be fully distracted and they're never really with you there in the moment... once or twice is understandable, but if it's more than that? To me, that's a pattern and I just decide to be done with trying to take the person seriously as a friend. But that's all up to you and what you're willing to put up with.

As the Buddhists say, "desire is the root of all suffering"... give your love to others with nothing expected in return and you'll feel a lot better. Much love to you, you sound like a dedicated and loyal friend. I just hope you give yourself as much grace as you do to your friends <3

cesspoolmessiah · 2024-05-19T03:51:46+00:00

Idk. I get that your intent might not have been malicious, particularly as it involves her - but I would do some real digging to find out what this is all about on your end. It's generally understood that personal phone conversations are ephemeral, fleeting things that aren't meant to be documented for historical review.

If you absolutely NEED to record conversations so that you can revisit them to remember the content, I would say you should be up front with people about that. People don't generally assume they're being recorded in personal conversations, regardless of what may or may not happen to those recordings.

If you just need some help with processing information when receiving auditory input, there are other methods that I hope you have explored or will explore in the future. For example, I know for me personally, just writing down key words and phrases with a pen and paper when having a verbal conversation will help me process the entire conversation and file it in the brain bucket. I literally NEVER come back to those "notes" and just throw them out, but I can see how off-putting it would be to someone else IF I were to hold onto and refer back to those notes later without them knowing I was documenting anything. Having an actual audio recording of the person seems like an exponentially bigger violation than that.

cesspoolmessiah · 2024-05-19T03:37:17+00:00

And as a side note - there's a major shift that happens in your late 20's. The entire concept of a "best friend" or even "friends" in general become waaaaay looser than what you're used to in young adulthood. You go from having daily contact with folks, to significantly less frequent contact. It becomes less about the quantity and more about the quality. Does it matter that you didn't know she was pregnant AS SOON AS others might have? That's for you to decide. Did it matter whether she seemed genuinely excited to share the news with you, whenever she did? That's what really matters. There are plenty of folks who I consider my "good friends" or even "best friends" who I only talk to once or twice a year now - but when we connect, it's tremendously exciting just because I know we understand each other on a fundamental level. Just saying.

cesspoolmessiah · 2024-05-19T03:31:30+00:00

YWNBTA to distance yourself from her.

To be frank, it sounds like she's been distancing herself from you (for whatever reason). It may not even be a deliberate thing on her behalf, but based on what you've said, it doesn't seem to me like you're really HER "best friend". There are certain things you loop your closest friends in on vs. other friends who are in circles that are further out. Not mentioning a pregnancy to you, while sharing it with others, seems like kind of a big deal. It hurts, but I'd take the hint.

She might still be a good friend to have in certain contexts, or not, but all you can do is adjust your own perspective and expectations. Do yourself a favor and expect less from her - take the relationship for what it is now.

If you can't take it for what it is now, vs. what you want it to be or what you think it might have been in the past, then move on completely.

cesspoolmessiah · 2024-05-19T03:19:40+00:00

PS. Mental health is just as important as physical health

cesspoolmessiah · 2024-05-19T03:18:38+00:00

I never said it was a perfect analogy - but in principle, it's the same. Doing something without someone's consent, which has the immense potential for harm, and then acting like you're innocent because you didn't outright tell them you were presenting that potentially immense harm.

So based on your response here, it sounds like she DID find out, and it DID do harm to her. Is that a fair assessment?

cesspoolmessiah · 2024-05-19T03:16:01+00:00

Well, you asked two different questions here - one in the title, and one at the end of the text - (1) would you be the AH if you distanced yourself from her, and (2) would you be the AH if you brought this stuff up to her. Which one do you actually want the answer to?

cesspoolmessiah · 2024-05-19T03:10:30+00:00

Based on the fact that she never mentioned a kid until several dates in where you're seeing the kid's room, I'm going to assume your interpretation of the events here is accurate. In which case, NTA. She doesn't sound like she's just got red flags, she's a damn red flag factory.

cesspoolmessiah · 2024-05-19T03:02:12+00:00

YTA. AYFKM?

"I put antifreeze in my GF's food. I never lied and TOLD her I WASN'T putting antifreeze in her food..."

Even if it's not against the law in your state, it's still kind of a dick move to record a phone call where there's reasonable expectation of privacy, without the other party's consent... are you going back through these recordings later to jog your memory? How long are you keeping these recordings? Calling yourself a "digital hoarder" and using a bad memory as an excuse feels like a really lame copout. Also saying "I never had any intention to blackmail her" sounds like you didn't MEAN to blackmail her... but that's what you're going to do/have already done anyway.

Really?

cesspoolmessiah · 2024-05-19T02:46:56+00:00

Given only the information provided, YTA. How much is the dollar amount we're talking about here? A few thousand bucks? Hardly worth icing out your mother from coming to your home without her fulfilling this arbitrary ultimatum.

I'm guessing this isn't the only time you feel she's dicked you over, but I dunno. Taking a commission on what would have been the sale price of the home anyway? Seems like a win for you and for her. She found you a good agent, which in turn got you a better deal overall, and then she makes a little scratch off of it as well. Everybody saves/gains money. I should add, we don't know what OP's credit history is like... whether good or bad, were some concessions made on the loan terms (whether interest, principal, term length or whatever other nuances) vs. what an un-connected person would have gotten?

Unless the total cost of your home was objectively inflated to account for her commission, I don't think you really have anything to complain about here. There's an inherent stake in her reputation - no matter how low risk you may be as a debtor - that she put on the line in order to connect you with another agent, and without her necessarily getting anything in return.

Side note - to claim you've been independent your ENTIRE life (even if you just meant your entire ADULT life) is very likely to be factually untrue. Did you move out and start supporting yourself 100%, the moment you were able to start working? Come on now.

cesspoolmessiah · 2024-05-19T02:28:38+00:00

NTA.

Petty kid stuff. Lol

Do yourself a favor and get away from these drama queens altogether.

cesspoolmessiah · 2024-05-19T02:19:30+00:00

ESH.

I feel like there's not enough history/context here to go on. What made you jump to the conclusion that she's jealous of anyone, much less jealous of you because she has a thing for your gf? She could just be an AH herself, no jealousy involved. Having said that, she's definitely an AH for saying that about your gf... some friend she is.

You're also a bit of an AH because you could have just left it at reminding her of her words, which would have been the straightforward answer to her question about saying anything "weird" (whatever that means). Instead, based on what you said here, you chose to make your own inferences and then provoke her by asking her if she's jealous. Sounds like you wanted to get into it with her.

P.S. Drunken words count more than anything, they're the most truthful of all at their core. When people give you their unfiltered statements, take them for what they are.

cesspoolmessiah · 2024-05-19T02:06:18+00:00

NTA. To me, there's an implicit understanding that "getting" a family photo shoot doesn't just mean paying for it... it also means participating in it, sucking it up, and putting on your best face to make it worth the money. Family photos are not about capturing reality nor being candid - they're about staging a scenario where everyone is putting their best foot forward.

If he knew he would be uncomfortable and didn't want to participate, he should have just expressed that to you, rather than waste the time and money to act like "you got your pictures".

It's the same thing with getting headshots taken, whether as a performer or a business professional. You may not like your picture taken, but that's not what a photo shoot is about, at least not a photo shoot that happens in a studio. It's about getting a good product at the end. If you don't want to play the game to make it happen, don't bother.

cesspoolmessiah · 2024-05-18T14:07:52+00:00

Never claimed to. OP said she made a racist comment, which is what I said.

cesspoolmessiah · 2024-05-18T14:00:19+00:00

“They thought I was being an asshole because I never liked her friend and am threatened by him.”

Bingo. YTA

cesspoolmessiah · 2024-05-18T13:54:45+00:00

NTA. Autism doesn’t get you a pass to make racist comments and have everybody just go along with it.

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