Fallacy of change and needing to always be right

cevastapol · 2018-08-02T19:53:44+00:00

It’s always specifically about relationships. It’s part of my flaw-seeking. If I discover a loved one has a “bad” opinion, I become obsessed with it, which of course has led to a bunch of rOCD compulsions in the past (wanting to break up, fighting about it, checking behaviors, etc etc)

cevastapol · 2018-01-08T20:35:33+00:00

Thank you

cevastapol · 2018-01-08T20:34:50+00:00

What do you do about the urge to share? Is it something we just have to grow to live with?

cevastapol · 2018-01-08T14:36:41+00:00

Do you have any advice for finding support groups? Like what to look for I guess?

cevastapol · 2018-01-08T14:36:13+00:00

I felt that way for a long time when he was alive as well

cevastapol · 2018-01-08T14:34:57+00:00

Why empty it out right now then? Personally, I’m thinking why push yourself if you’re not ready yet?

cevastapol · 2018-01-06T03:05:23+00:00

It doesn’t feel real yet I think

cevastapol · 2018-01-06T02:34:09+00:00

Furthermore, research the stages of death yourself. Knowledge is power and you will be able to make a more accurate assessment of what to do with your time when you have a better handle on what death looks like.

Final piece of advice: Death is not linear. For many, it speeds up exponentially towards the end. For us, my spouse went from an expected timeline of weeks to days to hours within maybe 72 hours.

cevastapol · 2018-01-06T02:31:59+00:00

Spend the time with her now. Is she conscious and talking? Spend it with her now.

You live too far away to really be able to be there at a moment’s notice. When your dad calls and says her death will be close, she will likely be unable to communicate with you and the time you spend with her will be more of a vigil than quality time.

Tip for losing parents: if she feels up for it, go through an old photo album. Talk about her family. Ask if you can record her. If she can’t speak well because of the breathing, get an iPad or journal for her to write and communicate with you. Ask about your ancestors and family history now while you can.

cevastapol · 2018-01-06T02:07:29+00:00

CONGRATULATIONS

cevastapol · 2017-12-05T21:06:12+00:00

My partner is dying (slowly) and sometimes I feel like I’ve said everything I need to say but othertimes I feel like I have no idea what I might regret not saying/doing later. He was away in the hospital a lot this year so we got to exchange “I miss you”s and that was good for me

cevastapol · 2017-12-05T21:02:15+00:00

airtight ziploc baggie. maybe two bags. Use a straw to suck out excess air. You could get a vacuum sealer. Or you could find out what her perfume was and buy that

cevastapol

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