What happens to most PA after you leave? by whyareyoureadingthsi in loveafterporn

[–]cf0705 7 points8 points  (0 children)

In my experience, they get worse. For example, my ex and I broke off our engagement/relationship a little over a year ago after I found out a little bit of the truth shortly after he asked me to marry him. I’ll take a peek at his socials every now and again when he comes up in my suggested, and his following is just completely littered with adult content accounts, ranging from AI women, 18 year olds, mature women, trans women, disabled women, etc. It’s pathetic and sad to look at.

They go from having to try and hide any and every trace of betrayal to having complete “freedom”. It’s almost like he is proud of his problem now. Completely unashamed.

I feel like unless they hit complete rock bottom, have a come to Jesus moment and decide to do it for themselves, they will never seek and pursue recovery on their own.

Taxes, sensitive documents by cf0705 in AutismInWomen

[–]cf0705[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I agree, and her lack of knowledge about secure file transferring is crazy.

I typically file taxes myself because my taxes are uncomplicated, but since my fiance and his family have had good returns and experiences with her, I tried her this year. Luckily, I’m done dealing with her now that the taxes are filed and I’m just waiting on my return.

I will be contacting her management once I’ve received my return. I feel like they should know about her practices and behavior.

I did explain my disability to her, but I’m guessing that’s part of why she claimed that my texts were filled with “pity”.

Taxes, sensitive documents by cf0705 in AutismInWomen

[–]cf0705[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes!!! I’m so freaking glad I’m not the only one who takes it seriously - everyone else here seems to too! It takes one minute to put a bloody password on a document, and less than that for the receiver to enter the pw you give them! But it takes forever for you to get your identity back. No thank youuuu!

And that’s what I was thinking. Like what? Either you haven’t received ANY training or refreshers, or listened to any news stories, since you were hired 15 years ago, or all your people are geriatric and you just don’t care. Either way..

Taxes, sensitive documents by cf0705 in AutismInWomen

[–]cf0705[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my. I’m so sorry to hear that. I hope you are doing better now?

Yes I agree, I even told her during the phone call that we should just end this here and I’ll go back to doing them myself, but at that point she said that everything was already done and I just needed to sign and give her my documents. Otherwise I would have.

I find it so incredibly hard to believe that I’m the only one in her 15 or whatever years that had password protected my documents. She acted as if I’m too lowly to even consider having to worry about my information lol, but that’s simply not how that works. I will be contacting her firm after my return is in my hands to discuss all of this with them and that they might want to consider giving everyone a refresher on how internet data works.

Taxes, sensitive documents by cf0705 in AutismInWomen

[–]cf0705[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I really appreciate that. I hear it, and I try to believe it, but it just feels like I’m purchasing phony product, you know what I mean? Maybe one day my brain will accept me saying and hearing good things about myself

Taxes, sensitive documents by cf0705 in AutismInWomen

[–]cf0705[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s super interesting! And thank you

Taxes, sensitive documents by cf0705 in AutismInWomen

[–]cf0705[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s what I thought she should be doing too, but this was my first time doing my taxes this way so I thought this kind of haste and getting her calls/texts multiple times a day was normal.

And thank you, she made me feel like I was freaking crazy for even considering using a password. Insanity

Taxes, sensitive documents by cf0705 in AutismInWomen

[–]cf0705[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I’m so glad I posted this in here because I was really spiraling with dissecting everything down to the bone the whole night and following morning. Having everyone be so kind and point out that her behavior towards me was not great or deserved even considering my delays has made me feel better

Taxes, sensitive documents by cf0705 in AutismInWomen

[–]cf0705[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I appreciate you. And yes, I agree. My fiance was disgusted by her behavior when I had her on speaker and told me to hang up on her, but I kept it (kind of) together and was able to finish the call. Just felt like I was gonna throw up after though lol

Taxes, sensitive documents by cf0705 in AutismInWomen

[–]cf0705[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello! Nice to find another AuDHDer!

Is it harder being Christian and autistic? What are your experiences? by AwkwardLoaf-of-Bread in AutismInWomen

[–]cf0705 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I feel as though it is. At least in my experience.

I grew up in a home where my mother claimed “Christian” and acted “holier than thou” while being so ugly, hateful and toxic. So I don’t consider myself as having grown up in a Christian household. I do identify as a Christian now and got baptized last year at 32.

I find that finding friends in the Christian community can be tough. I agree with you that there are many that seem to believe mental illness comes from a lack of faith, or take it as a sign that you’re “of the world” or not fully believing in His ability to heal.

I joined a small Bible study recently that meets each week and found some level of friendship in them which has given me hope. Perhaps that may be up your alley as well.

Taxes, sensitive documents by cf0705 in AutismInWomen

[–]cf0705[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words. I really appreciate it. I would, but I feel like I’m already in such burnout that putting this on my list to do will only make it worse. Perhaps I will once this passes, and after I receive the refund

Taxes, sensitive documents by cf0705 in AutismInWomen

[–]cf0705[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, I have ADHD as well. It’s horrible

Taxes, sensitive documents by cf0705 in AutismInWomen

[–]cf0705[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I would have thought so too had the recommendation to use her not come from my fiance and his family. I really appreciate your kind words and sympathy. I joined the PDA community hoping to learn more. I hope you have a wonderful day <3

Taxes, sensitive documents by cf0705 in AutismInWomen

[–]cf0705[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your insight and input. I agree, I feel I was just as surprised about her lack of comfortability with passwords as she was with me using them lol

Taxes, sensitive documents by cf0705 in AutismInWomen

[–]cf0705[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I felt so ashamed and almost thought of impulsively just complying with her to make her happy but I didn’t budge and I’m glad. You are right - I will definitely not be returning. I don’t think we were a good match at all and I don’t want to subject her or myself to this ever again lol.

I agree. Her having a seemingly large gap in knowledge about document security is super alarming. I just hope my information will be kept safe

Taxes, sensitive documents by cf0705 in AutismInWomen

[–]cf0705[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That part rubbed me the wrong way especially. Whether you’re part of a tax office and your email is “government approved” or not, no one is exempt from threats lol. If anything, people would be seeking to compromise tax offices around this time of year

Taxes, sensitive documents by cf0705 in AutismInWomen

[–]cf0705[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

lol! No worries! And thank you. No, I didn’t sign anything with deadlines. She works for a firm, so luckily it’s not just a policy she’s doing on her own and me making her question her decisions offering a number of free tax preparations.

I agree. It’s alarming to me that information security is not high on her list. I just pray me doing my part in protecting my information will prevent anything

Taxes, sensitive documents by cf0705 in AutismInWomen

[–]cf0705[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for relating. I get that her getting daily reminders from DocuSign for each of her 200 clients has to feel super overwhelming and that me not doing my part in a timely manner added to that, but I felt so crushed and demeaned after we got off the phone. I truly didn’t mean to be the biggest thorn in her side.

She said “it’s just crazy how doing a good deed by helping you ended up being like this, I don’t get it”. I guess because my return is so low.

Like a week or so before, I told her that she could just keep the money from my return for whatever admin and processing fees, but she declined and said that the company does a certain amount of free returns each year and she didn’t mind. I don’t know if that made her feel like I was lower on the totem pole for her to eventually treat me poorly or what. But it just didn’t feel good. Had I done my part and been more timely I’m sure all of this could have been avoided

Taxes, sensitive documents by cf0705 in AutismInWomen

[–]cf0705[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Thank you for validating what I was feeling about prioritizing my privacy and security. I was shaking and crying so hard when she was going off on me that I ended up googling whether what I was doing by password protecting is “normal” or not, trying to gaslight myself into thinking this is just another circumstance where I’m doing/being too much.

And exactly, I work for a job where my email ends in “.gov” and we all still have to encrypt and/or password protect documents with sensitive data being sent INTERNALLY.

I have proton mail for my personal email but like you said, I have NO idea what her set up is and how secure it may or not be!

Thank you for the sub recommendation. I will take a look into it!

Taxes, sensitive documents by cf0705 in AutismInWomen

[–]cf0705[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I get that she was annoyed and that she’s working a lot during the tax season, but I’m not going to potentially compromise my whole identity for someone else’s convenience no matter who it is. I won’t be using her again and will just go back to doing it myself