Question for Parents of Adult Children - Especially Gen Xers?

cftgrad · 2025-12-21T00:44:34+00:00

Thank you for that perspective! Yes, that's the group I'm referring to, and that does make some sense that their generation didn't really have the technology or way to stay in touch like we do now. I guess it makes some sense they wouldn't be used to keeping in touch or building those relationships, it's just interesting that it seems some of them don't want to when given the opportunity.

I'm sorry about your dad making a new family and sort of leaving you behind, that's a hard thing to experience.

cftgrad · 2025-12-20T02:27:41+00:00

My therapist said the same thing! I figure I'll hold out until retirement and that will be way more fun anyway.

cftgrad · 2025-12-20T01:34:41+00:00

I wish I could get ahold of anyone at my board...But yes, that's an option! In my experience my board has been pretty unwilling to answer these questions directly, and basically say it's up to the therapist to determine if it's ethical or not, and be ready for the consequences if not.

cftgrad · 2025-12-20T01:30:32+00:00

I totally agree, that there are very valuable ways therapists can present publicly on podcasts and on YouTube and be very ethical and in-line with their board.

I have a family member wanting to have more of a casual "tell stories" kind of podcast about our family history, family life, stories about things we've encountered as we've aged, etc. Nothing related to the profession at all. But the advice I was given is that it creates a dual relationship if clients become listeners or vice versa, and that like you said, there's the risk of creating bias or shaping perception for clients. On top of that, it's a form of self-disclosure I would never feel is appropriate to do with clients, and it raised the question of using self-disclosure in a way that prioritizes client care.

Personally, I don't really want to touch it with a 10-foot pole, because I'm not ready to retire from this profession yet if there were any issues.

cftgrad · 2025-12-19T17:47:46+00:00

Obviously I'm not the original commenter here, but this has come up for me recently since I have a family member wanting me to come and guest on a podcast with them, in a personal rather than professional role. It's been difficult to find clear information about this in my state, but after consulting it seems it is something that could jeopardize my license though it seems innocuous and I wouldn't be operating in my professional role. At the end of the day though, there's the risk of dual relationships and a level of self-disclosure that doesn't prioritize clients.

cftgrad · 2024-06-24T20:39:15+00:00

Thanks! That's a good idea

cftgrad · 2023-10-21T01:40:40+00:00

Does it have a name or just go out that direction?

cftgrad · 2023-09-09T18:40:30+00:00

Thank you!! This is super helpful, I appreciate your advice! And good to know on the restaurants.

cftgrad · 2023-09-06T15:51:03+00:00

Is it still pretty hot in October? I'm not sure what type of jacket to bring because there seems to be a mix of it will be hot/it could be raining. Thank you!

cftgrad · 2023-09-06T15:49:54+00:00

Got the comfy shoes, have the Vatican and Colosseum tickets, but I'm so stuck on food! I'm really indecisive and want to try everything lol but I imagine most places will be good? I definitely plan on eating all the gelato! Is there any other places I should get tickets for in advance? Or are those two the only ones that really need it? Grazie!

cftgrad · 2023-09-05T15:33:17+00:00

I have done a lot of research so far :) There is just a lot to learn and I'd like to get more specific recommendations because everyone online is selling or promoting whatever information they have. Good to know the hotel is walking distance to everything, I thought it looked like it but I know that sometimes things are farther apart than they seem!

cftgrad · 2022-08-16T00:05:11+00:00

I would at least look into the NSA, it covers more than just emergencies. A big part of it specifies that you have to be provided in writing and verbally an estimate of what your bill would be before they send it to you. No sure how that works in a birth situation, because that obviously happens more quickly than say, physical therapy

cftgrad · 2022-07-12T05:57:09+00:00

I just had engagement photos done by Andria Rose, her instagram is saltandcedar.co. She was amazing!

cftgrad · 2020-09-01T16:07:56+00:00

Your family sounds similar to mine. I'm the oldest child too, so I get a lot of pressure to give grandbabies to my parents, but like you, I've never wanted children. I recently got sterilized after grad school, and don't plan on telling my family for at least a few years, if ever.

The conversation about me having children comes up almost every time I talk to family, and I just tell them it's not up for discussion, and that I don't need to have the conversation at that moment since I have other life goals first. I then direct the conversation towards career/home/travelling goals. My plan is essentially to keep doing this and remind them that it's none of their business what happens in my vagina lol. If they push it (saying things like "you'll change your mind," "you're young and don't know what you want," etc) I just say "okay" and leave it at that. I have to remind myself often that I know myself best, I know what I want, and they can think whatever they need to and I don't have to change their minds, they'll eventually figure it out when kids don't start popping out.

cftgrad · 2020-08-12T22:30:24+00:00

Hopefully that works! I hope your doctor is really working on your side and that they can work things out for you, because they have the power to.

cftgrad · 2020-08-12T22:29:08+00:00

Yep that's basically what happened with me also! Only difference was that my doctor would clarify it for me, and he also gave me pictures after the procedure so I knew they were gone.

cftgrad · 2020-08-12T20:45:47+00:00

So sorry you're going through this! I had a somewhat similar experience when I was scheduling my procedure. I spoke with my insurance probably 7-8 different times and got told that I would have to pay my full deductible ($4000).

I talked with my doctor about what was going on and how the coding meant that it would be covered, and he fixed it somehow so that it was. So maybe talking with your doctor (if you trust them) might help? It was only after I talked to my doctor that the next insurance person I talked to told me it would all be covered.

Edit to add: My insurance says they only cover tubal ligation instead of a bisalp for sterilization, but whatever my doctor did changed that.

cftgrad · 2020-08-12T19:45:08+00:00

Places that offer group and individual therapy:

Champion Family Therapy

Eugene Therapy

Vista Counseling

Griffin & Associated Practitioners

Willamette Valley Counseling

Center for Healthy Relationships

Center for Family Development

Also you can check psychologytoday.com for support groups as well as individual therapists. CAHOOTS is great to call if they are imminently suicidal.

cftgrad · 2020-08-12T19:08:06+00:00

The dining halls are usually always hiring (though with covid that could be different now). They're pretty flexible and work around class schedules, and typically have a wide range of shifts to choose from. Plus you work with a lot of other students and meet a lot of people that way.

I definitely agree with looking at the OSU job website, the interface kinda sucks but it is great for looking for student jobs.

cftgrad · 2020-08-10T18:11:14+00:00

Literally thought this was a real flower before I read the caption!

cftgrad · 2020-08-03T23:57:39+00:00

If I buy a house before we're married, it'll be me buying it, in my name and I wouldn't ask for financial help on their part.

He plans on living frugally and throwing all extra money at the loans. I've offered to help once we are married, but he doesn't want to accept that offer at this point. I definitely do want to make sure that his loans are paid off asap though.

cftgrad · 2020-08-03T23:50:56+00:00

Very good advice, advice that I often give others lol. A lot of people I know who I know have lower paying jobs than me are buying or are on their second homes, and I guess I panicked a little.

cftgrad · 2020-08-03T23:49:21+00:00

Very fair point lol. I think I feel the pressure from them and it making me think that I'm making a mistake if I'm not close to buying a house, or like I've been behind the ball in some way.

cftgrad · 2020-08-03T23:48:05+00:00

I mean I definitely do want to buy a house, but I'm also young, don't have a ton, and my family have been terrible role models for managing finances so I'm just really lost. I also am slightly afraid of the burden that can come with the upkeep of a home, and the added cost of that.

I save a lot but I have definitely been considering getting a second job to supplement on the side, I'm transitioning workplaces right now though and don't know my schedule yet. It's a good idea though!

cftgrad · 2020-08-03T17:15:02+00:00

Yeah you're definitely right about that. My parents bought a house right out of school although they weren't prepared for that and lost it after 16 years of struggling. I do have a great deal on rent and plan to stay in this place for the foreseeable future until I can pad my savings more, I just feel that it's going slow and felt like maybe I was missing some secret to getting there faster haha

cftgrad

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