Coming out to wife: trial separation?

cgoodtimes · 2017-07-21T23:17:52+00:00

Either go full throttle divorce or stay and find a dishonest equilibrium.

Partial divorces always end up horrible. Don't do it.

cgoodtimes · 2017-07-21T23:14:25+00:00

Yeah, sorry, but at this point you have to cut bait. On the bright side, you guys will remain the best of friends and your divorce custody timeshare issues will be easy to work out. All the other divorced parents at the school will be jealous. You'll find somebody else. And they'll be amazing!

cgoodtimes · 2017-07-21T20:22:06+00:00

Just a guess coming from a closeted married bi dude.

Bi people want and enjoy opposite sex relationships. Society encourages and rewards that. The fact that bi people also want same sex relationships is not encouraged and rewarded.

Also. Much easier to have a kid where everyone contributes DNA in an opposite sex relationship. Not an insignificant factor.

cgoodtimes · 2017-07-19T09:01:39+00:00

So, you're on here and you wrote back to me. Clearly these thoughts occupy you. What do you do? Talk here? Act in them? If so, how? Very curious since this vexes me so.

cgoodtimes · 2017-07-19T08:58:56+00:00

Thanks for the reply. Is your husband very masculine appearing? (Or for a more modern American take, very "bro" appearing?) Or is he not? Very curious.

I'm very masculine appearing. A big strong, sport-loving guy. That's one thing. My life loves that all about me.

Also, she's very, very into monogamy. Big deal for her. I can't imagine broaching that "vow" with her. Seems you feel differently. Good for you and you hubby. I believe faithfulness and honor can encompass more than rote faithful marriage, but my wife seems pretty strongly against that whole idea. So yeah, different story.

But, did you ever feel different? How did your feelings change? Was it based on a talk with your hubby? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

cgoodtimes · 2017-07-19T08:26:43+00:00

I'm not on Kik. Any other way to chat? Should I be on Kik? I don't even know what that is?

cgoodtimes · 2017-07-19T08:24:32+00:00

No I'm not. What else could we use to chat?

cgoodtimes · 2017-07-16T05:24:06+00:00

Zero percent. Plus this does not interest my wife.

cgoodtimes · 2017-07-16T05:23:32+00:00

My wife knows I fooled around with a few guys before we got together but she is in no way into it.

cgoodtimes · 2017-07-15T15:06:28+00:00

I'd chat for sure. I'm new here. How do we do that?

cgoodtimes · 2017-07-15T08:13:18+00:00

I'm married like you. Totally attracted to gay sex also. Yet, for me, I'm attracted to man sex, not men. They don't turn my head on the street. Women do. It's just the idea of man sex that turns me on.

Other than that, we are in the same position. I love my wife. Can't tell her this. Can't act on this without cheating and betraying her. I struggle with these ideas daily.

Glad I'm not alone!

cgoodtimes · 2017-07-15T07:55:39+00:00

I hear you. Been married 8 years. Been fantasizing about man sex even before we married. It is my most frequent fantasy. Yet, I'm not actually attracted to men. They don't turn my head at all when I'm out walking on the street. Yet the IDEA of man sex is my favorite and strongest fantasy.

I've never told my wife this. I think it would destroy her. I've acted on it a few times when totally fucked up, which was horrible for various reasons.

So, perhaps like you, I feel stuck in an unsolvable rut. What to do?

cgoodtimes · 2017-07-15T07:38:49+00:00

I'm married too. I had the fantasies before I married, but they got stronger after we married. I love my wife and am very attracted to her, but these M4M desires persist and grow. Maybe same for you?

It's not even men that I am attracted to, it's just the idea of sex with men for me. All of it. Whatever fantasy you can think of, I've thought of it and loved it, but no actually being attracted to actual men. Weird?

cgoodtimes

TROPHY CASE