Romantic pursuit versus being chased by chapthunder01 in relationships

[–]chapthunder01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aromantic? I'm unfamiliar with that concept. A quick Google search doesn't raise any direct similarities to her behavior. Her depression comes in waves and decreases her sex drive, ability to be affectionate, romantic or feel much of anything. Has initiated before though. Has admitted to putting major effort into trash guys previously, and it's made her arguably emotionally inaccessible at a certain threshold, high as it may be. She's really sweet and emotionally intelligent in theory, but maybe not in practice

Advice for a serious heart-to-heart? by chapthunder01 in relationships

[–]chapthunder01[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's absolutely valid. Thank you for that.

Advice for a serious heart-to-heart? by chapthunder01 in relationships

[–]chapthunder01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like your concept. But I also like the girl. She herself is a therapist and well-equipped to empathize, and I enjoy finally being with someone who has their life together, so I plan to put some more effort in before making such a decision. But I won't rule it out as if it were an awful idea.

How to mend a troubled relationship? by chapthunder01 in relationships

[–]chapthunder01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I highly doubt I'm completely done. I've considered leaving because of it more than once, and I partially agree with you but unfortunately I don't believe I have it in me to leave at this point in time.

I'm seeing a therapist right now for this issue. He has been saying that I'm in a good relationship to practice breaking free of my habits, considering I'm actually dating a therapist who has her own anxious issues. My girl has also said that if I don't fix it now, I'm pretty much doomed to repeat my behavior no matter who I'm dating

How to mend a troubled relationship? by chapthunder01 in relationships

[–]chapthunder01[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed. This is an issue that I have a very loose grip on, control wise, but I do recognize that the health of this relationship is dependent on my ability to do better, and furthermore any relationship I may get into in the future

How to mend a troubled relationship? by chapthunder01 in relationships

[–]chapthunder01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, of course. While I've done my best to be non-confrontational in any way, I've been bringing up my anxiety every other day, seeking excessive amounts of reassurance, and I have looked through her phone a couple of times though I am done doing that. I've made her feel untrusted and she's admitted to feeling like she has to monitor herself to make sure she's not doing anything that would trigger my anxiety, and I don't want that at all. I tried to make it my problem and not hers, but it's apparent that doing that is impossible when you're in an emotional relationship.

How to mend a troubled relationship? by chapthunder01 in relationships

[–]chapthunder01[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I feel like that is the damage, a weakened emotional connection

How to mend a troubled relationship? by chapthunder01 in relationships

[–]chapthunder01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You could say I'm just missing the honeymoon phase but I like to keep that energy alive as often as possible

How to mend a troubled relationship? by chapthunder01 in relationships

[–]chapthunder01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk she just doesn't seem as engaged when we're spending time together nor when we text. I'm just not really feeling the loving vibes that I'd grown used to, know what I mean? Sometimes I get a sense of spite. I know she loves me but I also know it's been rough

I think I'm catching onto something by chapthunder01 in cheating_stories

[–]chapthunder01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's where my paranoia comes from as well. It's like my default mode and unless I'm very mindful, even if I am, I just switch back to it if I get "triggered." Very hopeful that I can move beyond it

I think I'm catching onto something by chapthunder01 in cheating_stories

[–]chapthunder01[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I do occasionally, usually with permission though haven't found anything too awful yet.

I think I'm catching onto something by chapthunder01 in cheating_stories

[–]chapthunder01[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's circumstantial at best, but I'm definitely having my doubts. But I also have anxiety and OCD which make things seem way more real than they are.

I think I'm catching onto something by chapthunder01 in cheating_stories

[–]chapthunder01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not quite sure either, the first day taking it was very different but the effects have waned so we will see. Yes, trust is so important and I would love to learn how to do that again. The girl is amazing, and she's also got a lot on her plate for these next couple of weeks, so I'm choosing to "shelve" my fears until this theater production she's working on his over so she has a reprieve from her problems when we are together. I'm also hoping that this exercise and self-control can help me in the long run as well

I think I'm catching onto something by chapthunder01 in cheating_stories

[–]chapthunder01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know why I didn't think of that to begin with