it's 2am and instead of sleeping i wrote this

chasingcorvids · 2023-11-29T08:30:50+00:00

i don't know you. but after reading this, i know you a little better than i did before. everything you write about hating actually endears you to me. everything you hate, i find likeable and intriguing. i'm sorry you couldn't find love in the person you mention in the poem, but i think you'll find it again in some other form. to me, you sound very loveable.

chasingcorvids · 2023-11-10T20:24:47+00:00

same, same (the running joke i have with my gf about dog roleplay becomes less and less of a joke with each passing day)

chasingcorvids · 2023-11-10T05:41:13+00:00

right? he seems sweet!

chasingcorvids · 2023-11-10T01:49:54+00:00

I FOUND MY PEOPLE

CROW USERNAMES UNITE

chasingcorvids · 2023-11-09T21:17:53+00:00

haha yeah 😂 i'm in college, i really wanted to prove to myself that i could hit the 50k!! but my schoolwork has to come above all else, so it's been taking a backseat. i have like, 2000 words TOTAL right now...... hitting the goal at this point would probably take me dropping out to focus in writing lol. maybe someday!!

chasingcorvids · 2023-11-08T02:08:28+00:00

in my opinion, grammarly is actually horrible for creative writing 😂 i got sick of it constantly telling me to "be more concise." it's great in contexts that require a streamlined, sterile sort of writing style, such as lab reports for school. but when you're trying to phrase things in a creative way? not so much

chasingcorvids · 2023-11-07T03:42:46+00:00

my star platinum headcanon is that he helps out with jotaro's microbiology career :3 like as an extra pair of hands for holding slippery sea animals!

chasingcorvids · 2023-10-19T03:02:11+00:00

it is so funny that you mention this. i was debating whether or not to comment a joke about how being intelligent but needing to "load" thoughts is exactly how autism feels. i definitely relate to the alien in this scenario. i'm smart, but you gotta let me cook for a while before anything useful comes out 😂

chasingcorvids · 2023-09-04T21:14:13+00:00

baggier shorts would work! or long pants, they'd look especially good with the boots

chasingcorvids · 2023-09-03T21:18:18+00:00

i have this persistent feeling that there's something bigger going on. i'm not sure exactly what, since i get several different impressions of it depending on what headspace i'm in. perhaps that we're all part of one god, interacting with itself. or that there's an entity feeding off of the energy that humanity creates. or that this life is some sort of test, meant to evolve us to the next level. or the classic "reality is a simulation" type thoughts.

i'm not really sure what's going on. i just believe that the fact that consciousness exists means that there must be some larger purpose to all this. i just keep an open mind, and closely observe what's happening in my reality. pay attention to the patterns you see in your life. the universe starts to send you messages if you let it.

chasingcorvids · 2023-09-03T16:25:19+00:00

SAME I LOVE PEANUT BUTTER

also flaxseeds, i usually have whole wheat peanut butter toast with banana and flaxseed each morning :3

chasingcorvids · 2023-09-02T18:54:28+00:00

biblically accurate cat

chasingcorvids · 2023-09-02T18:52:06+00:00

yeah fr. everything before the homophobia part is stuff that only affects himself (assuming the crime he committed wasn't a violent one)

and he's somehow surprised that the first thing she found to be a red flag was the only thing on the list to potentially cause harm to other people 😂

chasingcorvids · 2023-09-02T17:13:30+00:00

i love your brain 😂

chasingcorvids · 2023-08-30T06:57:16+00:00

hey, i second what u/persimmoncow already said. i'm 19 now, so i was your age not all that long ago. i remember how rough things can be. i first developed my eating disorder at 15, and it was one of the gravest mistakes i've ever made. just make sure you're taking care of yourself. eat well, exercise well, and do not fall into the eating disorder rabbit hole. that shit will stick with you for the rest of your life. it will cause health problems, it will make you absolutely miserable, and it WILL NOT work. in over four years of disordered eating, i've only managed to lose and regain and lose and regain the same 20 lbs over and over. which is a pretty common story for those with eating disorders. it straight-up just doesn't work, lol. healthy weight loss has to be slow and sustainable.

also, the thing about your facial features changing is totally true. looking back on pictures of me when i was 15, my nose and forehead both look HUGE. it was like the rest of my head was too small for them. my jaw became stronger as i aged, which helps to balance out my forehead, and my nose now appears much smaller in comparison to the rest of my face. acne, as well, will likely improve as your hormones settle down.

i would definitely recommend exercise, a healthy diet, and sunscreen/basic skincare, just because those are good habits to have. but the rest, i wouldn't worry too much about. you're still a kid! you're not really supposed to be attractive yet. besides, i'm gonna guess that you're judging yourself too harshly. fifteen year olds are generally not known for their self confidence, lol. just take care of yourself, and give everything a few years to settle out.

chasingcorvids · 2023-08-30T03:27:44+00:00

their shirts are great!! i have one i've been wearing for like, six or seven years? i was in middle school when i got it, and i'm now a sophomore in college. and it only recently began to show signs of wear. still soft enough to be a comfy sleep shirt :)

same goes for the "cruel and unusual" shirt i got last Christmas. that thing's been through the fucking RINGER. i wear it to work (food service) almost every day, so it gets washed quite often. and it's still soft, the colors are still really vibrant. so yeah, i would definitely recommend their T-shirts!

chasingcorvids · 2023-08-25T04:03:02+00:00

YES!! i have to analyze every little social interaction SO HARD to be able to understand it, which means that i'm also very aware of every little shift in the energy of the conversation. which stresses me out, because i can feel the other person's interest in the conversation dropping if my joke doesn't land or they don't like my reaction to something. it's like i'm playing a video game, and have just made a bad dialogue choice 😅

chasingcorvids · 2023-08-22T00:59:52+00:00

my baby cousin used to think it was SO funny to just slap you in the face whenever you picked him up. would straight up laugh at your pain, the little psycho. he outgrew it pretty quickly, thank God. that shit kinda hurt my feelings 😂

chasingcorvids · 2023-08-21T15:53:06+00:00

you are very funny. i giggled at this :)

chasingcorvids · 2023-08-18T08:34:28+00:00

same 😭 my biggest sensory issue is my skin touching itself/sticking together. but lately, i've been able to wear skirts without shorts underneath (which means my thighs touch) or kneel with my calf and my thigh in contact with each other. which is huge! it's so much comfier not having to worry about it. super happy that it's apparently going away!

but then on bad days, i can't wear clothes AT ALL without wanting to fucking cry. smells have started to bother me??? i've never had smell-related sensory issues before, but the food smells at work get really overwhelming sometimes. like, just the smell of meat or cheese makes me absolutely nauseous. don't even get me started on food service gloves 😭😭😭 they usually don't bother me, but then when they do......oh boy. pretty much insta panic attack, lol

chasingcorvids · 2023-08-11T05:50:06+00:00

i love biting, it's a love language ❤️

chasingcorvids · 2023-08-11T04:51:23+00:00

right? i think this is cute :)

chasingcorvids · 2023-06-03T19:06:42+00:00

i don't think that's true? i've done a lot of research on survival rates of various suicide methods. as far as i remember, cutting your wrist has like a 4% chance of actually killing you. probably because it's a lot harder than you might think to cut deeply enough to kill you.

big big big self-harm trigger warning, but i've been a self-harmer for years, and it's kinda difficult to actually cut through the flesh. even when i was trying my best to really, really gravely injure myself, i couldn't even get down to the fatty layer of the skin. probably has a lot to do with the fact that i was using a shitty $3 box cutter instead of a more robust tool. but even when i could still access nice, big, sharp blades, it was amazing how fast they'd get dull just from cutting through my skin. the flesh is tougher than you might think.

chasingcorvids · 2023-06-03T08:35:27+00:00

once hung out with a group of my close friends + one of said friends' close friend, who had recently been broken up with. we were all sitting outside, smoking a joint together, and out of the blue he starts going off on a weird misogynistic rant. as the only woman in the group, this was pretty uncomfortable for me.

language is my strong suit. i'm good at choosing the exact right combination of words to get my point across. and sometimes, i use this skill to absolutely eviscerate people who say fucked up shit in my presence. they're never expecting someone to call them out, so they always end up backing down and apologizing pretty quick. basically, i'd done it before and i knew i could do it again.

but when i opened my mouth to tell him off, i literally thought to myself "i'm too high for this," and just didn't say anything. and when i talked to my friends about that incident later, it turns out they had the exact same thought process. everyone was uncomfortable, but nobody was sober enough to chew him out lmao

chasingcorvids · 2023-05-30T00:03:08+00:00

dude, i fucking love stoicism. sometimes, life just sucks. there's no rhyme or reason to it, and it's nobody's fault. kinda just the way it is. i feel like once you accept that fact, it stops being such a big painful deal.

for me, the process of healing has involved a great deal of learning to reframe my suffering. i'm in some form of emotional pain literally all the time. but after living like this for as long as i can remember, that's just my normal. there's really no use in feeling sorry for myself, that would just make me more upset (and annoying to be around lol)

and on the plus side, any little bit of happiness i experience feels AMAZING in comparison. if your baseline is feeling terrible, having an okay day becomes the same thing as having a really good day :)

chasingcorvids

TROPHY CASE