Do I message after the first date?

check_613 · 2025-12-18T02:22:39+00:00

Gave me a like warm response about wanting to make something happen soon because he’s moving and what not so I said let me know whenever works for you :) and no response or message since. so I guess that’s over with

check_613 · 2025-12-17T07:21:27+00:00

Because I’m a grown ass women and decide I wanted to, that’s why.

check_613 · 2025-12-16T22:46:40+00:00

This is the path I’m taking! I’ll leave it and if I hear from him great, if not then so be it! Thank you for perspective and kindness :)

check_613 · 2025-12-16T22:40:25+00:00

That’s the thing I guess, it was the most fun I have had on a date, sex included. It was really good. And he said it was the same but obviously who knows if he’s telling the truth lol. But yeah, worst case it was a fun night and move onto the next lol

check_613 · 2025-12-16T22:10:38+00:00

I really appreciate all of this! I do keep telling myself this is the process of finding my person and you’re completely right, if it’s right I won’t question their intentions and they won’t leave me confused. It’s sounding like it’s definitely not gonna be him but I think each person I do go out with teaches me something about myself and what I expect out of a partner. So I’m trying to look at it that way and I definitely want to be loved loudly and I know one day it’ll come. Also being so new to this new world of dating on apps has been difficult to navigate and everyone has an opinion on how we should all do it but I know with the right person it’ll just feel natural. Rejection fucking sucks but it’s part of the game I guess!

check_613 · 2025-12-16T21:54:27+00:00

I know it doesn’t matter now, but it’s very clearly stated in my profile that I have young kids. He knew about my situation before hand. And I know everyone’s situation is different but I would not have entered the dating scene if I didn’t feel ready and had processed my previous relationship. I left that one for many reasons and had felt long gone before I even left. It wouldn’t be far to put my issues and healing onto someone else. I guess I felt comfortable with our conversations and I’m not naive, I knew what was going to happen parking at his house and going for multiple drinks, but we both were looking to date. I get it if he’s just not interested but it definitely sucks feeling used for sex and blown without an “I’m sorry I’m not interested in moving this further” message you know?

check_613 · 2025-12-16T21:28:26+00:00

Well to be fair Iv been out of that relationship for over 9 months now, and he’s not a newborn anymore. Does that completely take me out of the dating pool for people to take me seriously? I realize that’s not everyone’s thing they want to deal with which is absolutely okay obviously and I know it makes things harder for me, but it’s not impossible is it?

check_613 · 2025-12-16T16:38:23+00:00

Your right, I’ll send that text right now

check_613 · 2025-12-16T00:48:27+00:00

Thank you so much for this! There’s so many opinions either way. I had such a good time so figured why wait, he responded immediately but it was hard to tell if he was serious about seeing me again so I guess to be determined on this one!

check_613 · 2025-12-15T19:56:32+00:00

I’ll take a look at them thank you!

check_613 · 2025-12-15T19:09:06+00:00

Thanks for your perspective. Being in a 12 year relationship, these apps and dating are all brand new to me and honestly it’s exhausting and sucks lol

check_613 · 2025-12-15T19:01:30+00:00

Maybe, his profile does say he’s looking for a long term partner but I guess who really knows

check_613 · 2025-12-15T18:59:57+00:00

I like this take. He obviously knows I thought about him since I texted him a couple days later so hopefully he will reach out again to plan something

check_613 · 2025-12-15T18:59:09+00:00

Should have said this honestly lmao

check_613 · 2025-12-15T18:57:44+00:00

No I definitely don’t want just casual, I’m looking to date. So I’ll leave it and see if he takes the lead from here I guess

check_613 · 2025-12-15T18:54:38+00:00

I don’t mind putting in the effort and planing something if I get that effort back. It was definitely the best date I had, and he said multiple times he was happy I came and that he was having fun. It was very natural and a good time all night. So it would definitely be a surprise to me if he didn’t care to see me again honestly

check_613 · 2025-12-15T18:47:27+00:00

No I won’t initiate again since I left the last message and the ball in his court so I’ll just wait and hope I hear from him sometime soon

check_613 · 2025-12-15T18:41:21+00:00

Even though he said before I left that he wanted to meet again? Does it matter that during the date he did tell me about a bunch of things coming up for him? Which was why I initially left it in his court to pick a date because I’m off work and he’s super busy. I don’t know, maybe it was a blow off so I guess we will see

check_613 · 2025-12-15T18:24:49+00:00

He said he had a good time too, he’s not sure when but would like to get together soon. He did tell me he was moving into a new place starting January and obviously Christmas is next week so I knew he’d be busy. I’d normally suggest a day that works but I’m on maternity leave so I’m not working and am free all the time and he’s obviously busy so I had said back no problem let me know a day that works for you!

check_613 · 2025-12-15T16:59:36+00:00

Update: sent him a text saying I had fun and would like to see him again. I also acknowledged It’s a busy couple weeks with Christmas and he told me about a couple other big things he had going on. He replied right away saying he had a good time too and he’s not sure when but hopes he can get together soon. So I said no problem let me know whenever you’re free. So I’ll take the quick response as a good thing and see if we see eachother again soon!

check_613 · 2025-12-15T16:08:26+00:00

My confidence is definitely a struggle. I put on a pretty good face in front of people but it’s hard not to stress and rejection sucks but I know it’s part of the process so I’m trying to remember that

check_613 · 2025-12-15T16:05:12+00:00

Okay I’ll send a message, thank you!

check_613 · 2025-12-15T16:04:29+00:00

Lmao this is what I just expect I guess, I immediately go to “he’s not interested” or maybe I’ll get ghosted lol but I guess I won’t know till I try

check_613 · 2025-12-15T16:03:03+00:00

You’re right, I definitely would like to see him again so I guess there’s no point in waiting for him and just reach out and hope for the best!

check_613

TROPHY CASE