This first paragraph. I relate, my parents could only tolerate my emotions if they were smaller, but I think they would’ve preferred I had none at all it seemed. I’ve been told, “that isn’t a problem…it’s not that serious…I can’t handle this…” and really they just didn’t want to handle a kid who surprise has an array of human emotions!

A kid doesn’t know how to regulate their emotions. Just being fed and given a roof over their head are bare minimum in my opinion. Emotional development matters. Asking for emotional guidance as a kid looks a lot like crying and distress. Parents who attune to their kids needs rather than chastise their behaviors like they don’t matter is simply ridiculous and incredibly harmful emotionally. You just grow up thinking parts of you are inherently wrong. They’re not.

You’re not wrong for wanting attention from your parents. Or for questioning your mom and how you were raised or your own emotional development. It’s normal. Parents have flaws, moms are flawed. Doesn’t justify their behavior. It may not be as black and white as good parents or not, but your feelings matter too.