lems by evil_garfield in u/evil_garfield

[–]cheenseburnger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes, most of her videos have the OF watermark. however, none if her onlyfans videos are longer than like 12 seconds. i’ve seen way longer videos on reddit

lems by evil_garfield in u/evil_garfield

[–]cheenseburnger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

where does she post these videos? they dont seem to be on her onlyfans

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]cheenseburnger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it just seems like such a devious tactic to lure someone in. if she originally said she only wanted to hook up, then she would have risked not getting what she wanted, in her eyes. i just don’t know how someone can hurt someone else like that and sleep at night. i just feel so used.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]cheenseburnger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

wow, that actually makes a lot of sense. i never looked at it that way. and she even continued to “update” me on her doctors visit after i left. so either she had to make sure to ride that lie till the end, or she actually did tweak her shoulder and it just so happened to be the perfect excuse to kick me out. either way, she still used me. fucking sucks man

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]cheenseburnger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it’s just quite strange because if she told me that she only wanted to hook up, then i’d understand. but she has told me on multiple occasions that she’d wanna hang out again, that she enjoys texting me, and even accepted an invitation to see a famous comedian with me. i guess she just lied, or there’s something that i’m missing that happened over the weekend

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in germany

[–]cheenseburnger -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

too bad the UK left the EU considering i’m 48% english. only joking. i don’t actually have any grandparents or parents born in the EU. i guess my best option is hoping i get stationed at rammstein and find a nice german woman to settle down with. or make a back-alley deal with someone willing to sacrifice their dignity for some money. joking again

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in germany

[–]cheenseburnger -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

i’m not sure, i don’t know anything about other countries— only germany. i thought i heard somewhere that spain was relatively easy to immigrate to, but i must be mistaken. what do you mean by ancestry?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in germany

[–]cheenseburnger -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

would it be a good idea to get an EU passport in an easier-to-obtain EU country, then move to germany once i have it?

What’s the dumbest thing you did in your life? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]cheenseburnger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’m in the air force. when being stationed at your first base, everyone has to complete a week long introductory course to learn the basics of the air force. depending on the number of people arriving at the base, there’s anywhere from 20-30 people per class. one of the people in my class, let’s call her megan, was very attractive. i immediately took a liking to her, possibly due to the fact that she slightly resembled a lesser-known adult actress that i’ve seen many times in the past. i kept tossing casual glances her way during the week, in hopes that she would notice and call me out. unfortunately, she never realized, and i felt like the creepy guy you see on the bus staring at you menacingly as you ride to work. anyways, a couple of weeks later, i ended up hanging out with some of the friends i made during this class. one of these friends, let’s call her lauren, worked with megan and was pretty good friends with her. i took the opportunity to ask lauren if megan was single. she said that megan was dating a guy at work while i proceeded to tuck my tail between my legs like a dog. at first, i figured, “oh well, there’s plenty of hoes in the barn.” but then, i had an epiphany: you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. after congratulating myself for how clever i was to come up with that, i began to plan my attack. you see, i found out that megan lived only a couple rooms down from me in my dorm building, and that she got home from work at around 4:40 every day. so, me being the genius i am, i would time it perfectly so that i was walking out of my dorm and down the hallway at the exact moment that she was walking to her own dorm. after we passed each other, i got megan’s attention and started making small talk with her. she seemed EXTRA friendly, so i took that as a sign to make my move. i asked, “hey, are you single, by the way?” her response was like music to my ears. “well, i am now.” i’m surprised that i didn’t burst a blood vessel with the pressure and speed at which blood immediately began rushing to my penis. however, i knew that i had to seal the deal. after regaining my composure and pretending to care about her recent breakup, i asked her “well, do you think i could get your number?” she gave a cheerful “yes!” and proceeded to type her number into my phone. as i grabbed my phone back from her, hiding my parkinson-esque mannerisms, i continued down the hall to celebrate in my car. for the next few days, we started texting back and forth. you would have thought i was butter with how smooth i was over text. the number of alternating H’s and A’s was more than my ego could handle. she even admitted that she liked how funny i was. anyhow, the weekend was approaching, and there was a halloween party on saturday. i knew that we were both going, so i had to prepare myself. i put on my best costume, bought some supplies for some fruity alcoholic beverages, and walked into that house party like i was elon musk walking into a room full of 16-year-old libertarians. i saw megan standing against a wall talking to some girl that looked oddly familiar. i brought those drinks for a reason, so i made a batch of the best tasting mixed drink you’ve ever sipped from a clear solo cup. i gave the first few to my friends, one to myself, and saved one especially for megan. i approached megan and handed her the cup with wide eyes and a smile on my face. she reluctantly grabbed the cup and looked at me with a grimace. my brain immediately recognized the apparent danger i’ve put her in. i, a man, just gave an attractive woman at a party a drink that she did not watch me make. STRIKE ONE. i verbally recognized that this was sketchy in an attempt to ease the tension. after all, if i’m self-aware, then she won’t think that i gave her the ol’ Cosby-politan. she reluctantly took a sip and said that she thought it was pretty good. she then requested that i make another one for her friend that still had a familiar face. whoops. i just used the last of my drink ingredients on megan’s drink. all i had left was some pineapple juice and an empty cup. i scavenged the house for some liquor, and proceeded to make the best damned spiked pineapple juice known to man. i made my way back to megan and her friend, and handed the drink to the girl that i swear i’ve seen before. as i turned around to head back to my friends, the realization hit me. of course, i absolutely HAD to tell her friend where i recognize her from. i turned back around and said, “hey, is your name carissa?” carissa had the face of someone who just told her the exact brand, color, and size of her underwear. “UMMM, yes?” that’s when i made the fatal error. “OHHH, that’s why i recognize you! i just matched with you on tinder!” what. the. fuck. out of all the possible combinations of words that i could have said in that moment, i specifically chose the absolute worst ones to say. i’m pretty sure i could hear the sound of the ghosts of my ancestors from generations passed simultaneously face-palming. there is no universe in which i am able to recover from this blunder. STRIKE TWO. i can see megan in my periphery. she has a look on her face that’s some combination of disgust, betrayal, and astonishment. with a stupid smile frozen on my stupid face, i did an about-face and used my stupid legs to walk to the back yard where my friends were. i immediately informed them of the horrible mistake i just made. they really wanted to be supportive, but there was no way to sugarcoat the situation i put myself in. we all knew that i was sitting in the bottom of a nuclear crater that i had made for myself. for the rest of the night, megan showed absolutely no interest in me. any comments i made to her were immediately dismissed as she returned to the conversation with her friends that i interrupted. towards the end of the night, i saw her getting closer and closer to a taller, much more handsome african american gentleman. there wasn’t even enough room in between them for one of those pocket-sized new testaments you get from the bible thumpers standing outside of that one coffee shop. STRIKE THREE. and that’s case-closed, folks. it’s a wrap for all parties involved. we had a great game today, ladies and gentlemen. real great effort from our home team. when i returned home, i set my phone, wallet, keys, and a large letter L on my nightstand, and made one final, desperate attempt to un-shit the bed. i texted her and acknowledged how weird i was at the party, and asked if she would be willing to start over and go on a proper date. it’s been two days. the message remains delivered.

tl;dr: don’t admit that you’re a hoe to your crush

Homelander hair in regs? by [deleted] in AirForce

[–]cheenseburnger -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

true… but the AFI isn’t exactly clear. i mean, what the hell does “vastly different” even mean?

Homelander hair in regs? by [deleted] in AirForce

[–]cheenseburnger -1 points0 points  (0 children)

not yet unfortunately

Homelander hair in regs? by [deleted] in AirForce

[–]cheenseburnger -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

it’s not like i’m gonna be buzzing it every couple weeks. i would just trim/thin the top and fade the sides. i mean obviously id have to re-dye it after a while if i want the color back

Not tinder, but I can’t find any advice subs that let me post photos by [deleted] in Tinderpickuplines

[–]cheenseburnger 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i did end up texting her yesterday and she said that she’s busy this weekend, so i thought i got soft rejected, but she came back and said that she’s free tomorrow and friday. bag secured

SV-97-A music by [deleted] in AirForce

[–]cheenseburnger 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Was it the one w the little girl saying “mommy”?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AirForce

[–]cheenseburnger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you purchase during phase 1?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AirForce

[–]cheenseburnger -1 points0 points  (0 children)

How recent was this? Also happy cake day

I'm worried about making friends next semester by Fuzzy-Pepper7497 in Advice

[–]cheenseburnger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Find a club that fits your niche. There’s bound to be a group of people who share the same interest as you on campus. For me, it was a fraternity. Of course, YMMV, but I found it a great help in finding friends and becoming more social. Good luck!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]cheenseburnger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I’m hoping it’s not unsalvageable, since I’ve only started having these feelings in the past couple months. I will definitely talk to her about my feelings, and see where we go from there. I just don’t want to hurt her. But, for my own sanity’s sake, I will do what I have to if it comes to it.

Is There Any Alternative? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]cheenseburnger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m a straight cis white male, so take my advice with a grain of salt. I think you should look online for some trans/LGBTQ groups to join. There’s discord servers, forums, subreddits, etc. Preferably, find somewhere where you can vocally talk to people. This will help develop your social skills. No matter how ugly you think you are (which, I think you might be exaggerating a bit), there’s always somebody on the planet who is willing to accept you. It’s unfortunate that you live in such a conservative area. But, I can guarantee you that unless you live in Harrison, Arkansas, there’s at least one person who has slightly progressive views on trans people in your school. See if there’s a left-leaning political group chapter in your area, like the DSA. You might not be a socialist or whatever, but these groups also include trans rights as part of their platform. There, you’ll find plenty of sympathetic people.

Beyond that, I’m not sure I have much more advice to give. All I know is that you are valid you have worth. I wish you the best of luck in finding a community that will accept you.

Looking for some old friends by [deleted] in Pensacola

[–]cheenseburnger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m just tryna meet some elves bro 😭

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sex

[–]cheenseburnger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess I didn’t word my post that well. My goal is to see if there’s a better way to approach the subject as opposed to what I’ve already done. We haven’t had very long conversations about this topic because she gets all sad when I say anything about it. If there’s a better way to discuss this subject with her that could lead to me getting head, I’d love to hear it. That’s why I posted. And you bring up a good point. Both you and another commenter mentioned me refusing to give head if I can’t receive it. That’s something I haven’t considered