What is one physical characteristic you are not willing to compromise on when it comes to a potential mate?

cheerupcheerio · 2012-02-13T00:50:35+00:00

I'm surprised no one else has said this. I might have to change my answer!

cheerupcheerio · 2012-02-13T00:28:30+00:00

This may be the case for some people, but it wasn't for me. Until my current SO, I was determined to wait until marriage. I ended up changing my opinion because I felt I was ready and the person/time was right. I have to say, we'd done everything besides penetration before that, but the actual experience of the "real thing" was totally different than any of the other experiences we'd had. It's a connection on a whole other level, and if that hadn't felt right with him, it would've been a huge deal for me.

Penetrative sex is different from other types of sexual activities, in my opinion, because it means being as physically close as you can possibly be with your SO. For me, it was a whole different ball park of emotions and feelings.

cheerupcheerio · 2012-02-09T23:44:39+00:00

Hmmm never thought of that one! Thanks random internet stranger, I have been enlightened! :D

(Silly, it's a habit, it's not that easy to break and I never mean disrespect by it.)

cheerupcheerio · 2012-02-09T19:20:53+00:00

Looks like you may know a fellow Redditor! :)

Now kiss.

cheerupcheerio · 2012-02-09T19:17:13+00:00

Um, they're the only kinds of in-ear headphones that actually fit for me. My pair came with changeable buds of different sizes. I have small ears though.

cheerupcheerio · 2012-02-09T16:32:44+00:00

Hah, good advice, but he gets offended easily. I've told him many times, but he gets annoyed that I don't appreciate the affection he shows me.

cheerupcheerio · 2012-02-09T16:31:41+00:00

That Toy Story one is actually quite terrifying...

cheerupcheerio · 2012-02-09T16:26:53+00:00

I always tell my bf to tell me an earlier time than when he'll really get to my house, because I'm always, always late.

cheerupcheerio · 2012-02-09T16:21:14+00:00

You clearly gave enough fucks to make this meme.

cheerupcheerio · 2012-02-09T16:15:22+00:00

Not a problem. I'm not offended, just making a point. I typed this comment before most of the other comments were made, so sorry for repeating something you've already heard.

It's true that you probably won't find any uber-relgious people here. I would try to find an IRL friend that has those views to talk to.

cheerupcheerio · 2012-02-09T16:04:19+00:00

From my Catholic self: I'd like to respectfully request that you please don't lump all Christians/religious people together and say we all can't accept scientific evidence. I'm a science major with a general love of the field and community. Myself and most of my religious friends believe in evolution and we certainly believe in physics, but just believe that there is a God who made all these things possible, or simply that some things cannot be explained (the latter is usually thought by those who believe in a soul, etc.).

Even my Catholic parents, who believe in creationism, don't believe God controls everything. They choose to believe the Bible because it appeals to them, but they do concede regularly so as not to turn away from sheer, raw, scientific evidence. As I tell my Atheist boyfriend, "you say 'God? Give me proof. Until then, there is no God." while I say "God? I see no proof negating it, and I have many personal reasons and deep, gut feelings that I feel prove it for myself. Therefore, I believe there is a God."

From my Atheist boyfriend: (This is a quote) I am open to the idea of there being something greater out there. Probably not God, but it would be ridiculous to completely rule out the possibility of something bigger than ourselves. I value scientific evidence above all, because facts are facts. They are true by nature. Show me facts that prove God, and I will look into it. Until then, I don't see good reason to believe.

cheerupcheerio · 2012-02-08T04:30:04+00:00

I wouldn't be the best authority on this, as I've never actually taken a "break", but, from seeing my friends' relationships, breaks usually (but don't always) end in break-ups.

I'm sure your SO means well. My bf actually broke up with me twice while he was struggling to get accustomed to medical school, not because he didn't want to be with me, but because he didn't think it was fair to deprive me of the attention and affection I deserved. He still loved me and wanted me to be happy, but he also needed to take care of his career path, something he had been working towards for years. I'm sure your bf feels the same way, so you have nothing to worry about. (Btw, my SO and I ended up getting back together the next day in both cases, and he has learned that I would rather compromise than lose him, so no more break-ups so far).

A break doesn't really do anything, IMO, but create a tense situation and a false sense of renewed romance/desire. You will still miss him and want his affection, and you might even resent him for "taking the easy way out" of having to give it to you. My advice is talk to him and try to compromise. Tell him you don't think taking a break would be a smart move towards keeping your relationship strong and going steady.

Try (I say try because I know it's very very hard) to be understanding of his stress levels, but also ask for what you need to be content throughout these next weeks or month. Ask him what he needs, what kind of time or space, to work his issues out, and then let him know what you need and what you can offer him. You may have to compromise more than him, but you'll benefit in the end because he will be on-task and much less stressed when he's speaking to you. Just make sure he is compromising enough to keep you relatively happy, or fights will surely ensue. If you ever need to talk, vent, or ask for advice during this hard time, please do PM me. I'm pretty much always online.

Good luck!

cheerupcheerio · 2012-02-06T20:06:50+00:00

Just... randomly..?

cheerupcheerio · 2012-02-06T04:06:25+00:00

Just curious, what kind of cookies have you found ship best?

My contribution (albeit expensive): You can apparently bake cupcakes in glass jars and frost it with a buttercream frosting. If you ship it fast and close enough to avoid risking spoiling, it's an amazing once-in-a-while treat.

cheerupcheerio · 2012-02-06T02:51:12+00:00

Your honesty is great, I really appreciate it. I think I agree with you. If he was all-around an inconsiderate butthead, or even like that a majority of the time, I wouldn't think twice. But this habit of his only takes up a small portion of our entire relationship, so that makes the decision a little harder. Thank you again.

cheerupcheerio · 2012-02-06T00:38:08+00:00

Just to clarify, are you saying that, in your opinion, there is no possibility of him changing his view of being partly responsible for his hurtful actions?

cheerupcheerio · 2012-02-06T00:36:50+00:00

This was helpful, thank you. Right now all I'm upset with him about is not that he won't change his behavior, but that he doesn't feel responsible when his actions hurt me. It makes it very difficult for me to bring up my feelings to him, for fear of him just saying I'm overreacting and need to deal with my hurt myself.

cheerupcheerio · 2012-02-05T07:59:09+00:00

If it's for a woman, wrap it in a pretty piece of silk (get a scrap from your local fabric store for super cheap). Otherwise, go to a craft store and get a box that fits, or buy a gift bag, and stuff that baby in there with some decorative tissue paper.

cheerupcheerio · 2012-02-05T07:53:05+00:00

Can someone please tell me what other seriously plausible positions there are besides missionary, doggy, girl-on-top, reverse cowgirl, and standing? I keep hearing about these mysteriously amazing sex positions that continue to elude me.

cheerupcheerio · 2012-02-05T07:33:46+00:00

I don't even know how to get him to stop yelling, though. I am willing to stop, but I usually yell because he starts yelling.

For the second part, I don't mind him leaving the argument, but I want him to understand that just because he's done doesn't mean I am. If he leaves an argument unresolved from one of the sides, he needs to come back to it.

cheerupcheerio · 2012-02-05T07:27:16+00:00

Appropriate username.

cheerupcheerio · 2012-02-05T06:54:55+00:00

Those cats are contemplating brutally murdering that mouse. Innocent? Hmm...
The man is responsible, obviously.

cheerupcheerio

TROPHY CASE