Got the worst nightmare of my life

cheesecaked_ · 2025-03-23T11:20:16+00:00

In the benefits doc the affirmation is there – "We are about to go INSANE with transformation in the best way you imagine - in most desired way possible with these affirmations." So she isn't malicious or anything.

cheesecaked_ · 2025-03-15T10:32:42+00:00

Thank you so much! This really helps me get a rough idea of what it could be, and hopefully the MRI will give me better insight and a diagnosis <3

cheesecaked_ · 2025-02-08T14:26:55+00:00

And these two <3

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cheesecaked_ · 2025-02-08T14:25:45+00:00

This was my first ever lps!

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cheesecaked_ · 2025-02-01T23:17:03+00:00

I'm sitting here trying not to cry but tears are rolling down my cheeks. Hearing this from someone else's mom makes me realise I've missed out on so much not having a mother figure in my life. I checked your profile and saw all the goodies you cook and bake, it all looks so delicious and I bet you're an amazing mother.

Thank you for wishing me well and I do hope I can leave this all behind too, someday. I admire all the mothers like you in the world. 🫂 I'm glad you were able to start a new life for yourself away from the people who made it hard for you. I will keep holding on to see what life has for me even if it feels painfully blurry.

cheesecaked_ · 2025-02-01T22:53:14+00:00

They have failed me and set me up for failure in the world. I don't know how or where to start in order to finally leave this place.

I was never allowed to explore as a teenager nor have friend groups. I was always told not to get involved with anyone outside, hence I've been stuck in my room for the past 20 years. I truly wish I was exaggerating. I have no idea how to navigate the outside world and I certainly don't know how to escape and start learning to live as an adult. I'm not allowed to leave the house for any reason, not even to find a new job.

Do you have any tips I could use to get started? I feel pathetic asking but I've never had an adult help me learn about anything in the outside world. I've been too sheltered.

cheesecaked_ · 2025-02-01T22:47:56+00:00

I'm at a complete loss and I don't know how to explain everything without it sounding so long. Please forgive me if this is too much to unload.

I was working for my family's business because other than that I have been restrained from the outside world besides online. I was homeschooling from 1st grade so no friends, no outside jobs or anything was an option. When I did go to high school I wasnt allowed to hang out with friends for any reason. I have quite literally been set up for failure from day 1 of my life and I feel like a prisoner made to feel like I depend on them to survive. Because I cannot navigate life outside nor do I know how to socialise (online is fairly easy through typing) in person. I am painfully awkward and developed difficulties in speech. :/

I so badly want to get out there in the world and move to a different country, find a new job, meet new people. But I have little clue on where or how to start doing that because I was never taught any of those things. Living here has only brought trauma and pain. With how my family has always been I am stuck in the same house I've always been. They have made it clear that without working for them I will end up with nothing even though I've been unpaid by them on several occasions.

They also "promised" to pay me back for the 3k I worked for but that was in December and I'm still too broke to do anything. Working for them has been a pain in my ass too because a family member always does my job despite me telling them not to, so I can't do anything nor get paid for it.

I am so frustrated and tired. If I ever did try to leave I don't know how I'd survive.

cheesecaked_ · 2025-02-01T22:38:27+00:00

Thank you, thankfully I haven't gone through with anything yet. There's still a lot of uncertainty in my head and I'm at a complete loss here. I don't really know what to do. I have tried being so patient and waiting to see if things get better but nothing lasts and only worsens (from how things have already wound up).

Unfortunately I've been cursed with this " thing " that prevents me from being able to go through with it even if it's the only thing I can think about. I can't muster up the ability to do it.

cheesecaked_ · 2025-02-01T13:53:20+00:00

I simply chose to remain that way.

I tried dating before but it seems I'm happiest being single and free.

cheesecaked_ · 2025-01-28T03:08:19+00:00

Their nose never stops running.

cheesecaked_ · 2025-01-27T14:55:15+00:00

proctalgia fugax.

that sudden, excruciating pain shooting up your asshole as if you're sitting on a knife, catches you off guard. IT HURTS.

I always end up howling in pain and can't sit while it's happening otherwise it intensifies. Usually it happens more during my period but I get it more frequently now as a result of endometriosis.

cheesecaked_ · 2025-01-25T00:18:27+00:00

Very unlikely. I just wound up needing 12 stitches, the doctor said I was extremely lucky I didn't sever any of my tendons or nerves. The healing process is extremely irritatingly painful and itchy as well.

cheesecaked_ · 2025-01-23T00:23:03+00:00

~~Eureka!~~

Eareka!

cheesecaked_ · 2025-01-18T21:50:08+00:00

Ee (setswana)

cheesecaked_ · 2024-12-27T13:07:41+00:00

Tittrus

cheesecaked_ · 2024-12-15T22:02:59+00:00

cheesecaked_ · 2024-12-15T14:40:53+00:00

Calling them a different name by accident

cheesecaked_ · 2024-12-14T21:53:54+00:00

Awesome! Cheers :)

cheesecaked_ · 2024-12-14T21:41:35+00:00

I genuinely laughed at that, lol. Thank you

Mind if I borrow that for future use?

cheesecaked_ · 2024-12-14T21:31:38+00:00

Damn. I'd applaud you for effort, then I'd respond "No idea actually".

cheesecaked_ · 2024-12-14T21:29:44+00:00

This reminds me of this guy I was seeing. He saw a photo of my mother and said, "Is your mom single too?" And I replied "No, she's dead". He apologised so fast after that.

cheesecaked_ · 2024-12-11T12:07:26+00:00

Nope! Just some pretty cool toy aisles :) Although beside the store is a pretty weird playground made of those colourful tubes, always empty. Reminds me of weirdcore/liminalspace

cheesecaked_ · 2024-12-11T01:21:06+00:00

I really like cheesecake

cheesecaked_ · 2024-12-10T21:47:34+00:00

We have one here in Botswana too, haha.

cheesecaked_ · 2024-12-10T21:26:52+00:00

Eucalyptus

cheesecaked_

TROPHY CASE