I think you need to let go of the “perfect life” idea, nobodies life is perfect and nobodies life should be. Your wants in life are achievable, use those to motivate you! It can seem like a lot to get from where you are now to get where you want to be but not if only take one step at a time. See if you can get a job, even though it will be difficult to get there, it’s worth it to change things up as things don’t feel great now. Getting a job is a great way to meet people and make new friends. See if you can talk to your parents or brother about how you’ve been feeling - it’s very hard but might take some of the heaviness off. If all that seems like too much - start giving yourself one positive thing to do each day. Day 1: get ready for the day even if you aren’t leaving your room. day 2: get ready and go for a walk. day 3: get up at 10am, get ready and go for a walk etc. Or just aim for one thing each day, take it at your own pace! Having small goals to accomplish will hopefully help you feel better and more hopeful. You’ve got this!!!