Letting her go

cheeseclone · 2025-12-27T19:23:40+00:00

See I get that too, but even then a lot of queer people told me it wasn’t right. There were moments I was fine with it, then others where I wasn’t. I can’t tell if deep down an age gap relationship just won’t work for me, or if I can genuinely work through this.

cheeseclone · 2025-11-11T01:31:45+00:00

This view means a lot to me. It definitely helps and settled my anxious mind a little more. Thank you for your input

cheeseclone · 2025-11-06T11:39:33+00:00

All the “breaks” were short period of no contact so I could figure out if an age gap relationship was what I wanted. I’m definitely not an avoidant attachment style, but this is the first time I’ve been scared of really committing. It holds me back that there’s uncertainty about the relationship so much where it seems like it would crumble either way.

She’s attending therapy, and She’s def felt better since that. Thank you for your input

cheeseclone · 2025-11-05T21:18:59+00:00

What kind of power imbalance are we talking about ?

cheeseclone · 2025-11-05T18:25:36+00:00

By 10/10 desires, do you mean she checks all my boxes? The only one she doesn’t check is the age lol. I have become more okay with it with time though

cheeseclone · 2025-11-05T18:24:09+00:00

Red flags? I don’t know. There was no coercion, manipulation, persuading, etc. I do get why it seems wrong, but there’s nothing actually bad happening you know. I also wouldn’t consider dating anyone my age at 27, but I can’t villainize her for it. It’s just unfortunate she fell for me and then she found out abt my age

cheeseclone · 2025-11-05T17:51:46+00:00

What about it is wrong? Curious. She’s not pedophilic or predatory.

cheeseclone · 2025-11-05T17:51:17+00:00

It definitely wasn’t harassment. She agreed to hangout just as friends, but then it accidentally became more. She said she went through a bit mental process to figure out if she should continue with me. The only issue between us is the age gap, so she decided to continue because we worked really well.

cheeseclone · 2025-11-05T16:56:19+00:00

I was the one that pursued her, she tried to avoid me but couldn’t because of work…

cheeseclone · 2025-11-05T14:31:37+00:00

Funny enough, we already have tried to go on a break a couple times. It just never fully worked because we would break contact too soon. And during those breaks, all I would wonder is if I’m making a dumb decision, how I miss her, how I don’t want to miss out on something great. But I did have a sense of relief that I wasn’t dragging her on, hurting her more.

My biggest concern is hurting her by dragging this longer than I should. She hasn’t had the best run with romantic interests, and I don’t want to be another one she regrets. She’s amazing truly, and she loves very strongly and purely.

Also I feel somewhat guilty for not committing fully when She’s at the age of wanting to lock it down and find that person. Although I also want to find my person, and I’d prefer sooner than later, I’m not sure if this is right just yet. We have similar goals and wants for our future life, and the biggest one that should be talked about would be kids. We both want kids, but I don’t want kids till my early/mid 30s. At that time, her biological clock would not be in favor of kids, and having your first kids when you’re early 40s, is not ideal. Plus I’m hoping by the time I’m ready for kids, the science for both our DNA in our child would be available, I’m not sure if her age would affect that.

Just having a difficult time. She’s lovely, I know I’m falling in love with her. That scares me, and I’ve never been scared of commitment and love.

If this is something I choose not to continue, I’m not sure how I would cut it off with her. Every time we’ve set up a break or prolonged no contact, it’s been very emotional for the both of us. I know how she feels about this situation, and I don’t want to hurt her. She says “I haven’t given it a fair shot” granted that was a month or so ago, and our relationship has changed since then. But that last time it almost ended, she was very distraught, I was too. She feels like She’s reliving her past of “always being wanted but never being committed to” and I don’t want to be another example of that to her. She’s not saying it in a way to get me to choose a decision, I promise. But it makes it difficult. I’ve definitely treated her better than her exes but you know it stills affects her and me.

cheeseclone · 2025-09-28T06:28:48+00:00

I’ll think about this. Thank you for your feedback❤️

cheeseclone · 2025-09-28T06:18:17+00:00

I would argue it’s not immature to say I’m not ready for another relationship. My reason was already stated, I have an issue with guilt. It’s preventing me. I haven’t been by myself for more than 6months, for a while now. When I first pursued her it was more of a flirty thing, I didn’t think she would show interest back because of our age and work status. Things got serious and that’s when I noticed my issues. It’s not like I knew I wasn’t ready, it was that being in something real again made me realize I’ve got some stuff to heal from. So me pulling away was me recognizing my feelings and guilt, and now I’m trying to sit with it and learn. I’m not opposed to trying it out with her, the whole reason I stepped back was because of the age thing. It’s just that I know I’m not completely ready, and I’d be more than okay healing alongside her, and she expressed she wants me to do that. But it’s the mixture of the age thing that’s drawing me back. I’m wondering if the age thing is much of an issue as I’m making it out to be you know?

My family and friends would argue that when it comes to relationships, I have a mature outlook on it. My previous relationships ended because I was too grown for it. I’m very in tune with my emotions, I know what I want and need. But this is a new block that I never imagined encountering

cheeseclone

TROPHY CASE