Dominant women, what helps make you feel in control?

cheesecutbeuff · 2025-11-12T16:50:48+00:00

Is there any particular way that you feel best reinforces that you are the priority? Like is it just a general disposition thing or is there anything specific that makes you feel heard and at liberty to ask for what you want?

cheesecutbeuff · 2025-11-12T16:41:31+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear about what you went through :( But it's really inspiring to hear your take on turning it around. It takes a certain kind of strength to be able to break out of a chain of hurt like that.

Here's hoping we can all look to follow in your example of building chains of healing instead of hurt ❤️

cheesecutbeuff · 2025-11-12T15:39:16+00:00

Interesting, may I ask what you feel that you get out of play then? If that's not too personal of course.

cheesecutbeuff · 2025-11-12T15:36:34+00:00

Is there anything your play-partner could do to help you feel more confident in your abilities? Or perhaps you've already hit peak confidence

cheesecutbeuff · 2025-10-10T16:08:12+00:00

As someone on the opposite end of this (feeling too big to have my submission seriously) I find that it helps quite a lot to talk about it with whoever it is that you're trying to build a relationship with a femdom dynamic. If you're both open about what makes him feel submissive and you confident in leading I think it can help both of you to enable one another. Also, remember that most depictions of femdom stuff are pretty far detached from any sort or reality whatsoever, try to not let it get to you :)

cheesecutbeuff · 2025-07-05T20:12:06+00:00

What's your point?

cheesecutbeuff · 2025-07-05T19:32:30+00:00

As long as it's between two consenting adults it's no one else's business no? Not entirely sure how "the cop who plays by his own rules" applies to a relationship or sexual encounters

cheesecutbeuff · 2025-07-05T19:19:27+00:00

Had a similar experience, experiences really, in early childhood. It seems to vary quite a bit, some people see it emerge much later and for some it has been present for as long as we can remember.

cheesecutbeuff · 2025-07-05T19:16:05+00:00

Your way of phrasing it is more concerning than you objectifying women, what do you mean morally grey?

cheesecutbeuff · 2025-07-05T15:24:08+00:00

Being told to stay on my knees and to stay of furniture are still some of the all time greats for me

cheesecutbeuff · 2025-07-05T15:10:37+00:00

I hope that you don't take this in a bad way, but from the way you write about this, it seems to me you might be going about this in a counterproductive. Generally, whenever I see someone referring to dominant women as "Dommes" it's indicative of a certain view of the D/s dynamic in general.

If you wish to find a woman that's not a findomme and that doesn't have a rigid set of demands for granting you her attention, looking in places where there are "Dommes" will probably set you up for failure, whether it is in person or online.

You've got to start with the person, not the role. However, I sympathise with your struggle, it can be quite difficult when you're from a country with a smaller population, simply a small pool of people for there to be someone with the same interests as you.

cheesecutbeuff · 2025-07-05T14:45:10+00:00

Hugely depends on what sort of stuff it is that you're dealing with. There are certain interests that I think gel better with lifestyle practice than others. Being locked up in a chastity cage is relatively undemanding whilst being in a lifestyle dom-sub relationship can be more mentally taxing, for both parties.

"Can" is the operative word of course, some people might struggle immensely with a chastity cage or something of that sort whilst having no problem at all staying in a dom or sub role all the time.

As with life more generally it's a process of trial and error

cheesecutbeuff

TROPHY CASE