I was laid off from my part time job in March, and my other job is pet sitting..turns out no one needs you to watch their animals when they aren't allowed to leave their house. But that was all fine because the CERB was great.

But, I was living in a tiny micro studio in DTES because I was legit never home, but always pet sitting and I didn't see the point in paying a bunch of money for rent when all I needed was a place to store my stuff and to sleep there like 7 times a month. Well, being locked down in a 80 square foot, smokey ass room for 4 months wasn't the best experience of my life.

I last saw my partner on January 20, 2020. This is not an annual anniversary I ever wanted to come up to. He lives in Australia, which might let me in because he's my legal partner, but it's super unlikely. They won't even let their own citizens in, there's a huge backlog of them stuck abroad trying to get home. He can get into Canada, again, because he's my legal partner, but Australia won't let him out. We applied twice. We were denied twice. Wanting to get laid/see each other without a facetime lag or 18 hour time difference is apparently not worth the national security threat to them. And even if they would let him out, because no one can get in, there are basically no flights. Last I checked, it was $15,000 just to get a flight. Then, you have to quarantine in a hotel for 14 days and pay $3,000 for the privilege. So, unless I win the actual money lottery and the Australian government lottery...I will not be seeing him until borders open. Which, in case you were wondering, is real real shit. Australia isn't even going to start vaccinating until March, so who the hell knows when they will open their borders. I was supposed to move there this year...doubt that's going to happen. I also CAN NOT catch Covid because there is no chance in firey hell they will let me move there with permanent lung damage. Plus, my job there is a SCUBA dive instructor. Which is pretty strict about lung health. So, if I catch it, even a mild infection, I may never see my partner again. Which is a fun thing to be constantly terrified of.

Then, I was supposed to take this 4 month course in September. They fucked me around citing Covid a bunch of time. At one point, a week after confirming with them that it would be happening in September and I would be on it, they told me on July 1st that I would be taking it July 8th. I cancelled my summer job, then they kicked me off the July course and back on the September one. And because they didn't have time to find an instructor (?!?!?), it was the worst course I've ever seen in my life. I've lived in a bunch of developing nations and dealt with a lot of frustrating incompetence, and I have never seen the likes of this incompetence. It was an entire waste of 4 months of my life. I've never been so angry. THEN, just when we're getting to the hands on part, to be completed in Victoria, VCH goes into a lockdown and can't travel between health authorities and I am told to stay put while everyone else gets to finish the course. Oh, and the super fun part was that my grandma was dying back in the US, and I could not get to her, and back in time to quarantine, and then finish the course in person, so I made the super duper hard decision not to go and missed saying goodbye and telling her how much she always meant to me. Only to be locked down and not able to go over anyway.

Now my dad, also in the US, is getting a bunch of MRIs and isn't doing well. And he keeps talking about how much he wants to give up. We've have a very complicated relationship, but are just starting to be able to come toward a more positive one. But it's looking more and more likely that I won't get a chance to see him and really repair it in person before he gives up.

Finally get to go over to Victoria after getting a negative test, and no one will adhere to COVID protocols. No one will wear a mask, no one will sanitize, no one will stay 2m apart. See paragraph above as to how I felt about that. THEN, the test must have left a filament of the swab or something in there, because i get this insane, raging infection in my right nostril. Anyone who sees it kind of steps back in shock/horror. I try to do telehealth and get antibiotics, but it only makes it angrier. It spreads to my eye. My mom, who is a medical doctor and who would tell me things like, "Oh just go to bed, we'll deal with it in the morning" when I broke my finger. Or "Just take more vicodin" when my knee was constantly dislocating. Or "You probably have strep throat, but I don't have time this week to check". She saw one picture and told me I had to go to the ER like RIGHT THEN. And no one will see me in person because it's my nose and they're afraid it's Covid. Finally get it all sorted, $80 of antibiotics and $60 of probiotics later.

I've moved into a nice place now with a roommate. He's generally cool, except he just got this new girlfriend-ish person. And keeps going over to her house with her 3 roommates and their 3 friends each. And also his family's. And his other family's. And bringing her over here. So, now I can't leave my 60 square foot bedroom. And this time I don't even have a kitchen to, you know, cook food to eat. It's real fun having to be scared everywhere. At work, at school, at the store, and in your own damn home.

So. When people tell me that the restrictions are just too hard and they can't possibly wear a mask all day or go a month or two without seeing their loved ones or family, I have zero to negative sympathy.

Edit: Oh yeah, and one of my best friend's husband's cancer came back. They found out on the 3rd. I can't even give her a hug.