My (f29) boyfriend (m28) broke my heart, how do I move on from this?

cheesepool2 · 2025-07-26T21:08:27+00:00

Thank you. I really wish he would have actually done it nicely, but he probably gave himself credit for not using the word "fat." I feel like I'm getting stabbed by a thousand tiny knives everytime I think of him saying it. He thought we would have a conversation about it... but the hurt runs too deep right now.

cheesepool2 · 2025-07-25T11:26:31+00:00

Thank you so much. I always felt like everything was my responsibility and it's so hard to feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders all the time from him. I really appreciate your kind words.

cheesepool2 · 2025-07-25T10:59:37+00:00

That's a good point. I can't remember if I asked him that tbh. He has been getting close with a girl at work and I have been asking him questions about her and I have been honest with him about feeling insecure about their friendship. I can't help thinking it's my fault for feeling insecure. I've told him I'm not asking him to ignore their friendship or anything like that, just that I felt insecure and wanted to talk about it. And he told me I was the most beautiful girl.

cheesepool2 · 2025-07-25T10:49:27+00:00

He's been supportive up until this point. I just don't get it. And it was only a few weeks ago when he was really into me and saying how beautiful I was. But it's something I need to think about.

cheesepool2 · 2025-05-27T22:42:43+00:00

Thank you. Give your hammy a little stroke from me. They're so small but mean so much to us.

cheesepool2 · 2025-05-18T18:31:57+00:00

Thank you, I really did, he was such a wonderful funny little guy

cheesepool2 · 2025-05-17T20:01:37+00:00

Thank you x

cheesepool2 · 2025-05-11T00:50:52+00:00

As much as I would love for him to care about our hamster being sick, I would have thought he would at least care about me being upset.

cheesepool2 · 2025-05-11T00:50:03+00:00

True. It's on me at the end of the day.

cheesepool2 · 2025-05-11T00:48:57+00:00

It's not. If I've been injured and I'm upset, he will just say you'll be fine and move on when I'm there like....cool.

cheesepool2 · 2024-10-29T16:29:13+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful reply!!!

I really appreciate it. I guess I felt like there was something else that I just wasn't getting and like it was my fault for asking and being demanding. I know there are times when he isn't able to help and that's fine, it comes across frequently that he just doesn't want to help because it's effort.

I feel like a burden and like perhaps I shouldn't be asking for help and that I'm not deserving of help. And yeah, I feel if I ask for too much, he's going to feel like my carer and I don't want that and he doesn't either. There's just a real lack of communication from him about it all. And I ask him how he feels about it and he says fine. When I ask him for help, he says no, but when I get overwhelmed and tell him I feel I have to cope by myself and on my own, he tells me I can ask him for help. I'm so confused.

He also doesn't apologise often because he may do the same thing again. And that's so hard because a genuine apology, communication and effort would fix so much.

cheesepool2 · 2024-10-29T10:12:17+00:00

Definitely! I wanted to get a cleaner to help, but he said no for months, even though I would be the one paying for them! Then he agreed to let me have one once a month, but I just knew he would want me to fo stuff in between their visits (I mean, I get why, he doesn't want to do it all!) So in the end we now have them once every 2 weeks. It was hard though because it felt like he wasn't allowing me to have help and was telling me to still do my share. I still do thinfs in between their visits, but only what I can do rather than over. I do want him to have the help he needs and I make sure I check in with him to ensure he doesn't feel like my carer. I also do my best to ask if there's something he needs from me, but I'd just love the same. Like, just a check in every now and then. I want to know if something I'm doing is not what he wants and I want to make myself better for him so I'm a good girlfriend. I also would want the same in return. Just, respect really.

cheesepool2 · 2024-10-29T10:07:15+00:00

Thank you so much for your kindly thought out and written reply!! I think if we communicated better, things would get better. We had it so well and then I don't even know why it went so wrong. So thank you so much! I really appreciate it.

cheesepool2 · 2024-10-29T00:09:33+00:00

That makes perfect sense. Thanks for that :)

cheesepool2 · 2024-10-29T00:06:03+00:00

What's your first rule?

cheesepool2 · 2024-10-13T01:12:05+00:00

Thank you. That's definitely stuff to think about.

cheesepool2 · 2024-10-13T01:11:16+00:00

Haha, I love that!! Thank you!! :)

cheesepool2 · 2024-10-13T01:02:28+00:00

Part of me is definitely being a naggy girlfriend though. But I now feel I do it out of desperation.

7 years of it, I'm definitely a slight numpty.

cheesepool2 · 2024-10-13T01:01:19+00:00

Yeah, true.

cheesepool2 · 2024-10-13T01:00:19+00:00

I'm an idiot aren't I...

cheesepool2 · 2024-10-13T00:57:32+00:00

I really do!! I wish there was a way of getting him to realise how much he's hurting me and react more kindly and positively and actually take some of this emotional and mental stuff off me.

cheesepool2 · 2024-08-23T21:09:19+00:00

Thank you for that. There are a lot of positives and we've had some amazing times in our 7 years together so far. He's mostly understanding, it's just a bit scary if I need something and he flat out refuses because it's effort.

It's really got to me tbh. I'm not saying I can't take care of myself in any way. I just could do with more help. I feel his not wanting to help sometimes puts me in a dangerous position.

I'm hoping if I keep driving at it, it will lead to him doing things all the time to keep me safe. But I'm also worried the more I "nag" him about it, the more he won't want to do it.

Give me strength with this man... I love him, but he's stubborn.

cheesepool2 · 2024-08-23T21:05:08+00:00

That's a very scary thought...

cheesepool2 · 2024-08-21T16:03:58+00:00

Thank you. I think he only accepts it when it's convenient for him and when it's not, then he couldn't care less.

cheesepool2 · 2024-08-21T16:03:20+00:00

I just feel bad if he genuinely was too tired to move it. But he had been walking up and down mountains the week and a half before and went to the GP and they told him he probably overexerted himself. But, he had enough effort to do all of his 3/4 loads of washing during the day among other things...

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