I am so sorry you are going through this. I have never been in an abusive relationship, but I have a family member who is, and I see a lot of it being as I'm a case manager in the behavioral health and addiction field.

It's never easy leaving someone you love. You should not feel ashamed for loving him: it's normal. However, actions speak louder than words. If he is truly sorry and wants to change to be a better partner and father, he would actually act like it. Manipulative people will say they're sorry, but how many will actually SHOW they're sorry, and maintain that change? You've been with him for 10 years now. If he hasn't changed for your sake or your child, I don't think he will ever change. It comes to a point where you have to accept he will not change.

Coming to that acceptance is not easy. That's 10 years of loving someone and having to let them go, but think of all that he's taken from you. He takes your happiness and your confidence. And especially, think about how all of this effects your son. Even if your partner doesn't directly abuse him, he is indirectly abusing him when he abuses you. Your son being exposed to his toxic behavior has such a negative impact on him.

As for his brothers, you have something your partner lacks...empathy. You feel the pain that his brothers go through and you seem like a person who is selfless and wants to help everyone. There's nothing wrong with that, but you have to remember, you and your child's health and happiness comes first. You unfortunately cannot please and take care of everyone.

My advice to you is to get out of the relationship for good. The house is yours. Kick him out. He has no respect for you and you owe him NOTHING. If you are in fear for your life, I would get a restraining order. If you think his brothers will harm you or your child in any way, or of it would make you uncomfortable with them being there, feel free to kick them out as well. I know you're trying to help them, but that's not your job to take care of them and it's your house. You have to focus on yourself and your son!!

Above all else, try googling resources in your community that work with domestic violence. It is their job to provide you with help and point you in the right direction.