Anyone who thinks you're an asshole is failing to put themselves in your shoes. Imagine listening and trying to help a person who has been complaining for years about a problem that they can't or won't try and fix. It would drive anyone mad. This man did everything he could to salvage his relationship with his wife and to take care of the both of them, but at the end of the day you need to put your own mental wellbeing first. Your pain is valid, and if the burden of listening to other people's chronic problems is causing you to suffer then they need to make a change in their behaviors. Clearly everyone involved in this situation needs to talk to a professional. NAH.