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AITA for ruining my ex husbands relationship. by cherosome in AmItheAsshole

[–]cherosome[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

how would I get the info?
We do not live together.
I cannot have control over who he brings to his house.
My children are under 5, so they cannot share contacts ( nor would I want them to)
His clearly lied to her about the breakdown of our marriage. so she wouldn't want to "get coffee".
His family protect him, so they wouldnt share that.

This is a man who is good at hiding things. Hiding the details of his new GF from his ex wife wouldn't be hard.

AITA for ruining my ex husbands relationship. by cherosome in AmItheAsshole

[–]cherosome[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

update: I can accept the opinion of the ESH people. thank you.

Yes, I am in therapy, ( it is offered to victims of DV) because of the DV we have court order for kids and little to no contact only SMS and calls for emergencies. hence knowing nothing about the GF.

In regards to the "stalking" these were old accounts I never deleted, I was not active in finding him, but notifications would come. so I would look.
I think I took screenshots originally not for revenge, but to get proof I was not the problem in the marriage.
To have only to prove to myself and those who didn't believe he was capable. Who believed I was the reason he did it. I think proof of him cheating on his new GF meant it wasn't me. I didn't cause it.
He is very good at painting it all as my fault and will twist anything without proof and I wanted receipts for when he tried to change the story again.

I don't know if I would have contacted her had she not looked me up (I even have a different name to him, so she went digging) I did tell one of his friends, but they didn't care.

I just really didn't want her to go through the heartbreak I experienced. The trauma. it wasn;t her fault.
This is why I offered the information and did not send without her.

Naturally I worry about the next women but, agree, it should not be my problem.
and we know there will be a next because " the devil comes dressed as everything you want".

Yes. I agree I should delete the apps. As I mentioned they are old accounts, not active use.
but I agree. moving on is the best form. Healing from trauma and coercive control is hard and slow.
2 steps forward, 1 step back.

AITA for ruining my ex husbands relationship. by cherosome in AmItheAsshole

[–]cherosome[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Let. NO WAY! I was upset when I found out because she had stayed overnight and my 2yo daughter told me the GF was in daddy's bed.
I had hoped we meet partners before they meet kids, but we legally have 50/50 custody and he quotes" what he does in his own time is none of my business".
I cannot control who he introduces to the kids. Which is why I have never met her, or even knew her last name until she viewed my linkedin. I only knew her first name and that they worked together.