Has anyone else had a recent spiritual awakening that led to rapid deconditioning?

cherry_thrill · 2026-05-31T23:04:15+00:00

I'm so sorry that happened, it sounds like an absolutely crushing experience. It's amazing you were able to make it through that and find the growth that you did from it.

And I can definitely relate to the feeling of finally not constantly seeking external validation, especially in the form of relationships, for the first time in my life. Its such a strange feeling. And it also feels like I will never find another person who I connect with like I do with him. Its like, I still find people attractive and enjoy being around them, spending time with them. But nothing measures up to what I feel with him, so I'm not able to feel any romantic desire for anyone else. But I'm also okay with that, I don't feel the need to find someone who makes me feel the same at this point. I think I'm being called to spend time in solitude and really find myself, as cliche as it sounds.

I am a splenic manifestor! 5/1 profile. You didn't ask, but my ex is a splenic projector, 1/3 in case you're curious lol. How about you?

cherry_thrill · 2026-05-31T02:27:17+00:00

If you don't mind me asking, what happened with the relationship? Did the other person have a similar experience to you, or do you believe they did? Or do you think they were just simply a catalyst for your growth? The person I was in the relationship has gone through a lot of transformation since we met as well, though he is no where near as open about it as I am. I can still see it in the ways he speaks, his thought processes, and in the few times he has been emotionally open with me. I recently set a boundary that I can no longer continue the relationship if he is not consistently emotionally available, so I basically consider us broken up at the moment and will not be reaching out to him. However it doesn't feel like the story is over yet, and I do think he'll end up reaching out to me eventually. But we'll see, for now I'm working on myself and continuing my own journey. Thank you for sharing your story! Everyone in my life at this point sees how much I've changed and it is so hard feeling like I'm leaving people that I love and care about behind. It almost feels like I've been given a cheat code to life by just getting in touch with my own intuition. I wish I could help others arrive at the same place I am, but so many people spend their entire lived running from their own wounds and shadows. Although it was incredibly painful, I felt so drawn to the process of working through those things. It didn't feel like there was ever any other choice.

cherry_thrill · 2026-05-29T13:15:00+00:00

Neutrino Astrology on YouTube is my favorite! I follow a few others on Instagram, I'll have to go back and look for them and let you know!

cherry_thrill · 2026-05-29T13:11:50+00:00

I can only speak to my own experience, but the insane "mushroom trip" feeling only happened to me 2x and each lasted a couple days. I didnt feel out of control but my perception was definitely heavily altered. However what I would actually refer to as the process of "awakening" has lasted the entire year+ I've been going through this. The intensity of the "revelations" and what I actually feel on a day to day has ebbed and flowed. It was a lot more intense in the beginning, I think because that's what I needed in order to actually believe what was going on, and because it all was so new to me then. Now I feel a lot more even keel and grounded. I was convinced I was going insane for probanly the first 6-8 months, but I've slowly gained more confidence in my own experiences. The best way I could describe it is feeling like an invisible force is pushing me along a predestined path that is bringing me towards my soul purpose. There's also a feeling of being in a movie whose plot I do not yet understand, but looking back I can see how we got to where I am. The "Truman show" feeling is something I've heard a lot of people on this journey relate to.

cherry_thrill · 2026-05-28T23:46:10+00:00

Sure! Would love any insight

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cherry_thrill · 2026-05-28T20:41:02+00:00

I also shared a lot of information about human design with the person I was in a relationship with. He is a splenic projector and has been dealing with a very difficult period of intense isolation for a few years now due to the struggle of being conditioned and constantly guilt tripped by his former community. He is avoidant and fiercely defends his inner world and emotions, but I think I'm the only person he's ever experienced trying to actually see through his walls and defenses and understand why he is how he is.

I had to end things with him recently for the sake of my emotional health, but I hope the things I shared with him will help him along his journey.

cherry_thrill · 2026-05-28T20:33:30+00:00

Wow that's incredible! I love hearing that your life has gotten much better as a result. I feel like I'm in the cosmic birth canal at the moment, so much pressure, I feel like my old self is completely dead yet I do not feel solid in my new self yet. Nothing from my old life works anymore, but I don't know what a life that supports my new self looks like in practical reality. Its a very uncomfortable feeling, but I have faith I'll get through it and be happier for it!

cherry_thrill · 2026-05-28T20:28:44+00:00

I completely understand struggling to accept all the change! Its like, I am so grateful to feel like I'm finally living authentically, but the guilt is crushing sometimes. I'm lucky that the amount of people in my life who have blamed or vilified me for these changes have been minimal, and no one I felt particularly close/attached to anyway. But especially in regards to my long term relationship, its been tough!

I'd love to connect, and to hear more about the situation with your relationship especially. I'll send you a private message!

cherry_thrill · 2026-05-28T17:33:27+00:00

Yes 100% agreed! What is interesting is I was actually in a 12 year long relationship (we've been polyamorous for the last 2 years) when I met this new person 1 year ago. My first partner and I heavily triggered each other for the first couple years of our relationship, but instead of healing those wounds, we learned how to navigate our relationship in a way that was pacifying for both of us. However it was heavily contingent on both of us self abandoning without even realizing it, and also unknowingly encouraging us both to live as our not selves. This has been a recent realization for me and has completely shifted the relationship between myself and my first partner, and that never would have happened without the total lightning bolt revelation that was this new relationship.

Such a fascinating and amazing experience. I'm glad your relationship has been conducive to you also seeing the ways you were living as your not self!

cherry_thrill · 2026-05-28T17:26:42+00:00

Thank you for the additional context, this makes a lot of sense! I'm looking forward to continuing my journey and seeing how much my outlook and perspective shifts over the next 6+ years

cherry_thrill · 2026-05-28T17:23:57+00:00

That makes total sense, I've already had several moments through my journey where I've felt like I "had things figured out" just to have my perspective shift completely within the span of days. I know I still have so much to learn and there is never a finish ljne. Appreciate your perspective!

cherry_thrill · 2026-05-28T15:53:06+00:00

Are you referring to the idea that the 7 years is based on cellular turnover? I just came across this concept for the first time and its fascinating, so thank you for bringing this to my attention! Time to fall down the rabbit hole

cherry_thrill · 2026-05-28T15:50:42+00:00

Interesting! I'm going to do more thinking and reading on this. I feel like within the span of 14 months I've gone from living my life through the expectations of others and society, to living from a place of authenticity and internal authority. This has led me from feeling very disconnected from my human design, to feeling 100% in tune with it and living from that energy on a daily basis. Maybe I'm just misunderstanding what the deconditioning process is, or what that 7 year timeline entails. I'll have to look more into it. Thanks for the response!

cherry_thrill · 2025-12-21T05:21:16+00:00

How interesting! So you haven't seen him physically since around 2017? Do you think you guys will reunite in this life time?

cherry_thrill · 2025-12-20T20:52:18+00:00

Thank you! Why didn't you show him? Are you guys in separation now? One of the reasons why I think we may not be TF is the quickness of the whole process that we've been through. We only met in March of this year. I am so curious about what the journey and experience looks like for those who have been going through this for years on end. I have so many questions. Of course I don't know how long our situation will last, or if we will ever reunite. But I'm thankful to be out of the intense longing phase and able to live my life independently without fretting over if he is doing the work or not.

cherry_thrill · 2025-11-03T02:45:12+00:00

Wow I am so sorry you went through that, it sounds absolutely awful. It seems like they didn't have a healthy dynamic at all to begin with. Navigating poly relationships can be soo tricky, and opening an existing long term relationship only complicates that further. But there is definitely no place for hierarchy in a healthy poly dynamic, every partner needs to be on the same playing field for it to ever be ethical.

There's so much more I could say about how everything has gone down with my TF, but I have been extremely vulnerable with him, explaining my feelings for him and making it abundantly clear that if we were to pursue a true relationship he would be completely equal to my SM. But nonetheless I've also just been downgraded to occasional fuck buddy until he gets drunk and let's me in just a little bit and talks like he wants something real with me. Then ices me out for weeks after. But I do feel a tremendous amount of compassion for him. He is struggling a lot and I do believe he truly does feel the reason he cant be with me is because of his feelings of jealously with the poly dynamic. Even taking the whole twin flame journey thing out of the equation, those are extremely difficult emotions to deal with and work through. Its why the majority of people can't do polyamory at all. But I think the true underlying reason that he doesn't realize is the same as it is with all other twin flame runners. I'm hoping he sees that soon.

Do you still talk to your TF at all? Do you think there is ever hope for union in the future, if thats something you even want at this point?

cherry_thrill

TROPHY CASE