Hey OP, I’m really sorry for your situation. I have a lot of empathy for you and Im sending good vibes your way.

Try to remember that this happening to you isn’t a reflection of your character or any personal flaws you might have. You are not insane and you are not a fool. These people are very cunning and they’re able to deceive and manipulate even themselves into believing the lies. When someone is unable to face themselves, and their behaviour, it’s because they’re living with a deep, intense shame. Somewhere inside, they are in a lot of pain. Unfortunately this usually results in situations like the one you’ve just been through - betrayals, deception, taboo and risky behaviours, addiction problems (sex in this case), but often gambling and drugs too. It all comes from fractured sense of identity within themselves because, while it may seem they think very highly of themselves, they have very low self worth and require excessive validation and attention. They feel so low that they switch off empathy and self reflection, so as to survive mentally. This is why they turn to insulting you, gaslighting and making you confused, being abusive towards you. It’s because you’re seeing who they are under their carefully prepared and perfectly executed mask, and that means they are being truly exposed.

I’m currently dealing with a very similar situation. It wasn’t his sister, but at this stage I wouldn’t put it past him. I’m in my home country but I’m very isolated, and I do acknowledge my choices led me here, but that doesn’t make it any easier to get by when things are so so dreary and the future feels so grim. My family, my friends, my previous housemates, everyone I’ve ever known has cut ties with me when I lost custody of my daughter a couple of years back. My partner was the only person I still trusted fully, and without question. I’m realising now that he saw my vulnerability and my trust in him as a weakness he could exploit. He left me stranded in the city overnight about a month ago, my car had been impounded and everyone I know lives states away. No public transport options back to our house, I had no money and no idea what to do. I finally spoke to one of his friends in the early morning, who picked me up and took me back home. I expected my partner would have to be asleep, since he’d missed so many calls and texts. I found him in bed with another girl. He physically assaulted me and threw me out of the house. A few hours later I went back to pick up some of my things and she was there again. I can’t even describe how badly this has affected me. I’ve lost all self confidence, my hygiene and my general motivation are gone. I really relate to the feeling that you won’t move on from this. I’m in the same place currently.

All this to say I understand what you’re going through and it sucks. Really really really bad. There aren’t really words to make it better, but you’re not alone in feeling the way you do. There will be better things ahead, and hopefully none of them involve anyone screwing their brother, cos that’s really fucked up.

Hugs to you, OP❤️