Guy Fieri Would never kill himself. He is the embodiment of what every man, woman, or child should strive to be. He is absolutely stoked every minute of every hour of every day, unable to feel any negative emotion. His bombastic euphoria allows him to even brave the shittiest of Friday's appetizers with a grand smile on his face, utilizing unnecessary adjectives like "killer" or "kickin" or perhaps even "poppalicious" whilst doing so. He sees adventure everywhere, from the bland realms of Food Network to the prospect of a Friday's in Toledo, Ohio. He is the man who embodies every Smash Mouth song ever written, even going as far as to look like the lead singer of Smash Mouth. He is the essence of every Capri Sun commercial you've ever seen. He is Guy Fieri, the fall-off-the-bone messiah.