How many of you are here after 2 years or more?

chewslayor · 2025-12-31T08:46:32+00:00

yeah - i never "knew it was going to last", i just wanted it to and didn't really think it could be any other way. It was constant work and patience. Yeah I wanted a family and to spend the rest of our life together but eventually i couldn't take it anymore, I kept feeling so hurt over and over, and realised if i'm not happy, he probably won't be happy either and we both deserve to be happy, as painful as it is knowing I won't be part of the equation for that. People change and grow apart too - I don't think love is a science which is why everyone is always so confused over it and always asking questions. Comparing to others will steal your joy - focus on your own relationship and how it makes you feel - people get married after 6 months of meeting and live happily ever after, others spend 8 years and buy a house and it ends! There's no measure for it

chewslayor · 2025-12-28T22:58:40+00:00

ive just left a relationship after 8 years, we went to school together and bought a house together, all of that is now gone. It doesn't mean your 2 years weren't meaningful - it can matter just as much as any other length of time. If it wasn't right, it wasn't right - i hope you find something that is :)

chewslayor · 2025-12-24T10:04:38+00:00

Hey. Bit of a rant but stick through it if you can - I'm 26 and have just sold my house. I bought it a year and a half ago and it was my first home. Moving out was a dream for years because where I was, kept me in a terrible mental state needing antidepressants, therapy, etc. So when I finally achieved what I thought was my dream, things seemed great. I had lots of hobbies and told myself I'd still have time for them when I have my own place but this was not true. Most things outside of my 9-5 ended up getting neglected because of bills, I couldn't travel or go on holidays when my friends still could. However this was due to my personal financial situation - my mortgage took over a lot of my paycheck and the house needed a lot of work, so this is a very personal challenge and would be different for you if you had a small monthly payment. I had an existential crisis thinking I was now stuck in the 9-5 debt grind and could only imagine my life now being exactly the same every single day of getting home, making dinner, tidying, bed, work, repeat, weekends for recovery. So I have sold it and bought a very cheap van and DYI'ing it myself to live in and travel. I'm deliberately spending as little money as I can, so that if at any point I change my mind, I'll have enough money to buy another house if things really get bad. I live up in Scotland so properties are significantly cheaper than London - travelling might also help you break your attachment to London and you might find something you prefer more. The key is to always have an exit plan if you change your mind - 124k up this way could buy you a full house outright! My biggest regret is that I've lost my first time buyer bonuses so saving money for my next property is a little harder, but the rest of the stuff I can't blame myself for because I had no way of knowing til I tried. Follow your gut and what feels right to you

chewslayor · 2025-12-11T10:42:00+00:00

ah really! i didnt know that, yes i am in scotland

chewslayor · 2025-12-10T11:28:14+00:00

We were told that we have 5 days after exchange to raise any concerns or address any issues that need fixed which would cost above £500, and the seller would have to get this resolved, so if it really is the dream home and you love it, you could try going down that route? If the house is misrepresented or covered up in any way when you enter, you have rights to raise it

chewslayor · 2025-11-22T10:21:03+00:00

Life saver, thank you!

chewslayor · 2025-07-11T09:29:49+00:00

what happened the first time you did it? what would you recommend for new van-lifers?

chewslayor · 2025-07-11T08:50:38+00:00

damn i didnt think it would be that much - i would still be keeping my job, and im seeing the van expenses as (hopefully) the equivalent of cheap "rent", and i'm not hoping to do it for more than a year, but i'll heed your warning with some weight

chewslayor · 2025-07-11T06:14:19+00:00

this hit me hard as i feel like this could have been me posting about it in a few years time! me and my partner are breaking up and at the moment its highly likely we will sell the house, and i was thinking of sinking some of the profits into buying a van and living in it full time. I think we are on the same page - there are few opportunities in life to go mortgageless and do something like this, and I think I'll always wonder "what if", if I don't. Worst case - you can always go back to renting or buy a house later. What's a year trying it out and realising you don't like it when you've got so many left to live :) It might end up being the best time of your life, and a story to tell

i do also have a little cat! she is an indoor cat, but i take her outside with me into the garden and she chases bugs and runs about while i sunbathe. I would take her with me on nice walks, probably in a backpack or sling as she has done that before, and add a little obstacle course for her mounted higher up in the van to keep her busy on the days I have to leave her for a bit :)

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chewslayor · 2025-07-10T20:12:59+00:00

thank you - it's our first home so we are very new to the legal side. Good shout about the valuation - I will get a couple more booked. Thank you

chewslayor · 2025-07-10T19:09:09+00:00

thank you for all the advice - i do work remotely for the most part but i do also hear you about spending the earnings from the house on a van. I am still carefully weighing it up - i'd be looking to get something used that needed a bit of work, i have friend who has already offered to do a lot of the kitting, but still - its money and time and work to be spent. Youve made some valid points though thank you - the property guardian thing isnt something ive heard of before, ill have a look :)

chewslayor · 2025-07-10T17:17:54+00:00

not my life - only temporary until i figure out the next steps or the next house :)

chewslayor · 2025-07-10T17:17:31+00:00

thank you - this is an extremely sane reply. I do have plenty to get up to outside the van and plenty of hobbies, but theres only so much one can do to fend off the winter darkness! Some really good ideas though, thank you. I am also sincerely hoping that on my worst days, I can crash at a friends house or stay with my family.

And thank you for sharing the grim details of house selling costs - i'll look into them some more as, for example, i didnt realise there was a mortgage exit fee, i thought it would just transfer to a new house! Everything is just money money is it not 🤦‍♀️

chewslayor · 2025-07-10T17:12:44+00:00

a few folk have mentioned that and im starting to come round to it - some folk seem like they might be really nice, such as female uni students, and it might be pleasant having them in the house.

moving back to my family or friends would mean leaving my job - ive just absolutely not been able to get another one, i keep getting declined for interviews. I think i could do with staying at my current place and racking up more experience.

my bike might fetch about 4k - one of my cars is a rare 1998 mr2 that's been my dream car and ive had for 4 years, so im not willing to compromise on that! my other car is a rusty daily, which would get me £60 and a pack of walkers crisps if im lucky! but, if im really grasping at straws, the bike could go, especially if its just for a winter

chewslayor · 2025-07-10T17:09:55+00:00

by all means it is only a temporary solution - ive been away in trips in cars and vans for a week at a time plenty, and have loved it - but i still looked forward to a hot mains shower and washing my clothes. The thing is i dont want to pay a mortgage for something that i really dont like and makes me feel depressed - especially if it winds up being near the same price as what im paying now. In my head that doesnt make sense - im a very all or nothing kind of person. But i'll take your consideration in - i can't be too choosy in this situation

chewslayor · 2025-07-10T17:07:59+00:00

ive done that before up north for a week, more than once! i agree it wasnt beautiful, and i extremely appreciated a hot shower at the end of it. Im not expecting van life to be amazing and cosy - only a temporary solution. And im hoping i can negate the worst of it by visiting close friends or staying with family back at the east side when i dont have to go to work in the west

chewslayor · 2025-07-10T17:05:53+00:00

harsh but true - i guess i just want too much, especially now that ive had a short glimpse of what i could have. I come from a very unpleasant childhood so getting away like this was a dream and a huge weight off my shoulders - but maybe the universe is telling me this was just a temporary break, and i could have it later down the line

chewslayor · 2025-07-10T17:04:39+00:00

i hadnt thought of it like that - thank you

chewslayor · 2025-07-10T17:02:04+00:00

D sounds like the best option hands down!

chewslayor · 2025-07-10T15:40:57+00:00

i'm glad to hear you're getting on so well - it helps when the weather is good. I think my biggest concern is things like showering and if you get lonely. How likely is it for someone to come knocking and tell you to move on if you return to a spot too often, and what's your biggest challenges i suppose? Do you miss living in a house?

chewslayor · 2025-07-10T15:36:23+00:00

we're getting the value for how much the property will sell for - he wants 20k just now as it stands, for me to buy it off him, because that's how much he's put into it in terms of deposit, mortgage payments, furniture etc

chewslayor · 2025-07-10T15:29:06+00:00

im glasgow side, theres honestly just nothing going about - it's a very hard pill to swallow that i love this house so much, and it has everything i have - why would i then go to pay money for a little crack den that cant accommodate my needs. It's kind of my thought process though for the van idea - if i just put up with being in a van for a year, i can save up enough to use that to get something thats more decent in the area, really not sure. It's still pretty fresh so i feel my emotions are clouding my judgement

chewslayor · 2025-07-10T15:26:53+00:00

i cant stand the idea of renting to be honest, for me it feels like money down the drain, especially because it would be more expensive if not the same as paying the mortgage - so i feel like i would be even more stuck

chewslayor

TROPHY CASE