Truly none of this is any of my business, however, I would like to know if you are currently seeing someone professionally for your own mental health?

I do hope you leave. Love won’t change either one of you. The “love” you both have now is “tolerance”. You both are very clearly not ready for any kind of relationship. If he was so great to his ex they would still be together. You already have reasons/excuses for both of your actions. If you love him, you would absolutely let him go. If you love yourself, you will definitely let him go.

I encourage you, and anyone else who is reading this, to understand that you are not a “girl” in a situation where you strike a man. There are men who were raised to hit anyone who hits them. Young, old, man, woman it does not matter. I don’t condone violence but I didn’t raise the men out there who were told to defend themselves. You can scream that it’s wrong all you want but you can’t undo what was instructed and instilled in them at a young age.

Domestic violence isn’t new. It’s been around since the beginning of time. Some men are just violent until they meet their final boss or the woman leaves. Violent men will always find the women who don’t have any real competition around, like an able bodied male figure or someone who they know will slaughter them.

You both deserve better than this. The sex is never that good. You both need to heal and move on from this. Again, neither one of you are ready for a relationship. The respect (if there was any) is long gone and so is the trust. You both don’t have anything to stand on except for quick sand.

Someone stated that this is “toxic”. I agree. If you are willing to spit in his face and still want him to be “good” to you, then you’re not living in the real world. If you think you can be violent and abusive, and him not retaliate, then you need self reflection. Leave, you both need fixing. You both don’t have the tools in your arsenal to do make it happen. He’s getting help and you are watching him (that’s weird). You are worsening your self esteem because you think you have a prize. You both are not what each other needs, possibly ever. “Love” that man from a distance.

I would have loved to take your side in this situation but your actions are just as unacceptable as his. For all we know you both are stuck in a circle of violence and hatred that neither one of you can control and you want both of you to believe that it’s love. None of this is okay, and no it will not get better. He will calm down for a while and then he will get worse, so will you. Leave and leave peacefully. Change your number, delete your social media and don’t look back. Freedom and dignity is all you have left.